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Monday, March 8, 2010

Characteristics of Success - 'Working Through Change' - Part 6
On Friday we continued our exploration of the topic of 'Change'. In the last five posts we focused on the importance of having the ability to adapt and work through change as a fundamental attribute of success. So far we have examined the first three phases of Transition: Denial, Resistance and in our last post we introduced the third phase; 'Exploration'. We explained that the best way to describe this phase is simply as, 'Chaos', it is like a 'Bear' coming out of hibernation.

We gave the example of going in for a physical and the Doctor giving you 'bad news'. 'You need to lose 'X' amount of pounds, exercise, eat right, get plenty of rest and stop certain other 'un-healthy' activities. Going into our appointment we all ready new some of the things we should have been doing for 'our health' and we also had an 'idea' what the Doctor was going to say. We weren't surprised......yet we were too busy 'Denying and Resisting' what we knew was the 'future' state. At the end of the appointment we came to the stark realization that we needed to start 'Exploring' the things the Doctor suggested and now we are overwhelmed!

Once again, on Friday I gave you some questions to think about and answer over the weekend.......Did you do it? I hope you did! Sealed

The move through 'Resistance' and into and through 'Exploration' represent the most significant challenges we'll face in dealing with Change. In Resistance we are using all of our energy 'holding onto the past' and that fight is exhausting. When we decide to 'let go of the past' and embrace the new future we are again faced with 'expending' a huge amount of energy. In 'Exporation' our energy is focused on 'embracing' the new future and 'catching up' with the many things we should have been doing. (Remember, in Resistance we are so focused on 'fighting' against the new future that when we do get to 'Exploring', we suddenly realize several things: #1. We should have been doing a lot of things a long time ago to prepare for the future and #2. We now realize we are two laps down in a four lap race.)

Because we find ourselves so far behind in the Exploration phase, we now spend great amounts of mental and physical energy trying to catch-up and embrace this new future. As we 'fight' to equip ourselves for this new reality, we often fight feelings of 'utter frustration'. As we are fighting, scratching, clawing our way forward we suddenly start to realize how much time and energy we wasted in 'resistance' and also all the things we 'should've' been doing to move forward. It is not uncommon at all to find ourselves saying: 'I should've embraced the new change sooner and not fought against it so hard.'

(At this point all of us need to 'cut ourselves a break'. Try your best to not beat yourself up too bad......realize this; we all do it and we all at some times in our lives greatly struggle with some changes.....just try your best to recognize it and use it as a 'lessons' learned time. Learn to look at the 'bright side': Maybe, through what you've learned, you'll be able to 'adapt' more quickly when you're faced with the next change! ...... and oh by the way......that change is all ready on its way!)  

Now for the 'Good News': Once we have fought our way through the 'Exploration' phase and have managed to 'catch-up', we are now ready to enter the fourth phase: 'Commitment'. As we have done with the other three phases; here are some words that may describe how we 'feel' or what we might 'say' as we finally enter this phase, there will/may be:

* A 're-joining' of the team. A willingness to work with others or engage back 'into life'; finally being/feeling OK will be evident and working with others or teamwork will come to the fore-front.

* You will find yourself with a 'renewed' energy and/or activity level.

* You will also observe a 'clear' focus and/or plan that now starts to emerge.

As I have done through-out all five previous posts; I would like you to take some time and think about what we have discussed today. Please continue to explore some of the 'recent' professional and personal changes that you have experienced and examine them by now thinking about moving into and embracing the 'Commitment' aspect of transition. 

Please think about these questions over the next day or two:

How do you need to re-engage' back into life? Be specific? Where do you KNOW you have withdrawn and where do you now know you need to re-engage?

Are there other people you need to make an effort to re-connect with; family members, friends, work teammates, etc. etc?

What can you do to 're-connect' with them? How will you do it? What will or could be a 'first' step? When will you take that 'first' step? Be specific!

How will you focus your new found energy or activity toward the future? What specifically will you do? What action or steps could you take right now?

What is your 'plan' for the future or at least what are some initial thoughts as to your 'future' plan.

What 'steps' or things you should/could be doing to 'thrive' in your new reality?

After you have answered and yes written down your thoughts......Above all else.........Do Something about it! Take Action! Harness your new found energy. There is POWER in forward progress....make sure that as you answer the above questions, you also DO something about it! If you're nervous, start with 'small' steps to get your momentum going forward......if you want to jump-start this process.....then outline some 'BIG' steps/actions you will take and then take them immediately! You will never regret taking action and moving yourself forward. By taking the action(s) YOU KNOW YOU need to take, you will be empowering YOURSELF and embracing the change.....your new future state! Don't be scared.....there is power in forward movement.....why not experience some advancement TODAY!
 
On Wednesday, we will continue our discussion on the topic of Change and will start to explore some practical steps/tips that will help us continue to 'Work Through Change' in our day-to-day lives. As always, until next time, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:

'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'

10:23 am est          Comments

Friday, March 5, 2010

Characteristics of Success - 'Working Through Change' - Part 5
On Wednesday we continued our exploration of the topic of 'Change'. In the last four posts we focused on the importance of having the ability to adapt and work through change as a fundamental attribute of success. We also discussed the 'Losses' we experience when we go through personal or professional change and we introduced five 'Types of Loss' which were:

* Security 
* Competence
* Relationships
* Sens
e of Direction
* Territory
 

Our exploration continued as we introduced the concept of 'Transition' and established that this aspect of 'change' is
one of the biggest hurdles we have to go through and overcome. We introduced the four distinct phases of 'Transition' we deal with which are: Denial, Resistance, Exploration and Commitment and intially looked at the the first two, Denial and Resistance.

On Wednesday I concluded our thoughts with another 
'homework' assignment.........You knew I wouldn't forget........Did you do it?.....Did you? (I hope so! Wink)

Today I would like us to 'transition-through-the-transition'. What I mean is this: The first two aspects of 'Transition', Denial and Resistance have as their focus 'holding on to the past'. During this time most of us 'struggle' to some degree with the change whether we instituted it or it was 'forced' upon us. We cling to the past and struggle to 'embrace' the future. Depending how bad we are struggling with the change our personal and professional productivity are greatly impacted and diminished.

As I have alluded to in previous posts there is no 'rhyme nor reason' for how much or little we struggle in the first two phases. Sometimes we spend very little time in 'Denial and Resistance'.....other times we cycle back through these two areas, over and over and over again. Somehow we seem to get ourselves 'stuck' and can't seem to get 'un-stuck' from this cycle. We go over the same things, information, feelings repeatedly searching for a different answer, only to find the answer is still the same.....things are different....they've changed. We have all heard this definition of 'Insantity'. 'Insanity is: Doing the same things over and over and over again and expecting different results.'

By the above-definition, I'll bet we are all 'certifiably insane'. Lets be honest, all of us at some point or another have gotten 'stuck' in this cycle, we all have and for a varied amount of reasons. The challenge for us all is that you can't 'force' yourself through it, yes you can take steps that will help you but the process still needs to unfold.....sometime quickly.....and other times pain-stakingly slow and might I add very 'painful'.

Now whether time has done the work, we've seen the potential of the 'new future' or we just got sick and tired, of being sick and tired....no matter what the reason, we all hopefully at some point or another, are ready to look forward and start to 'embrace' the new situation and circumstances. When we reach that point where we can 'celebrate' the past or just 'let go of it if need be'....when we reach that point, only then are we ready/able to honestly move forward toward the future. At this stage we are ready for the second two aspects, Exploration and Commitment. I want to spend the rest of our time today on the third phase of Transition, Exploration; on Monday we'll tackle the fourth phase, Commitment.

In examining the third phase; the best way to describe it is simply, 'Chaos', it is like a 'Bear' coming out of hibernation. Here is what I mean: During Denial and Resistance we should be spending our time 'preparing' for the new future state, the change. Instead of preparing we spend most of our time 'holding on to the past'. When we finally arrive at the place where we are ready to take a 'stab' or look at this 'new future', we find ourselves behind the eight-ball. During this whole time, when we should have been preparing and learning what we need to do to embrace and thrive in this new future, we are caught with 'our guard down'......we aren't ready to cope with the future.

It is like going to the Doctor for a physical and the Doctor gives you 'bad news'. 'You need to lose 'X' amount of pounds, exercise, eat right, get plenty of rest and stop certain other 'un-healthy' activities. During this whole time before we went to the Doctor, we knew all the things he was going to tell us....(We knew what the 'future' health state was suppossed to be.....we did!)......there were 'NO Surprises'......yet we didn't do any of the things we knew we should have been doing all the time......we were too busy 'Denying and Resisting' them. Now we are faced with 'Exploring' all the things the Doctor suggested and we are overwhelmed; we don't even know where to start. This is what I mean by 'Chaos and Hibernation'......we are flat overwhelmed.

Here are some words that may describe how we 'feel' or what we might 'say' as we go into the 'Exploration' phase, there will/may be:

Over preparation
* Lots of new ideas
* Too much to do
* You can't or have trouble 'focusing'

Now I would like you to take some time and think about what we have discussed today. Please continue to explore some of the 'recent' professional and personal changes that you have experienced and examine them by now thinking about the 'Exploration' aspect of transition. 

Please think about these questions over the weekend:

Do you know 'steps' or things you should/could be doing to 'deal' with, 'explore' or 'thrive' in your new reality? Do You? What are they? 

If you haven't taken these steps, why? Why do you continue to allow yourself to be stuck in resistance?

What are you afraid of? 

Why haven't you done or started to do some of the things you know you need to do?....Be specific! 

What outside pressures, maybe from 'others' and their desires for you have kept you from moving forward? Why are you letting them 'CONTROL' your life? Are you really happy while you're doing this? Are YOU? Be Honest! 

When will you have the courage to live your life and embrace your future?....When?
 
What is 'NOT TAKING ACTION',  costing you emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually? Think about it and be specific.

What steps do YOU KNOW you could take TODAY that would start the ball moving toward YOUR FUTURE STATE?

Why not 'Just Do It!'.......why not just take some of the steps you know you need?

Why not face your fears in the face , call them what they are.......and then determine to move forward and not look back!

Please take some time, think about ,and answer the questions that apply to you......and please, write down you answers.....folks there is POWER in seeing your thoughts in print. After you have answered the questions why not take the most important/critical step(s) of all.....Why not take some action! Stop making excuses, stop trying to please everyone else and 'hang' lifelessly onto the past......it is over.....now is the time to 'focus forward' and take massive amounts of action. By not taking the action(s) YOU KNOW YOU need to take, you are hurting no one other than YOURSELF!

On Monday, we will continue our discussion and explore the fourth phase of Transition, Commitment! As always, until next time, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:

'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'



11:15 am est          Comments

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