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Monday, March 8, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Working Through Change' - Part 6On Friday we continued our exploration of the topic
of 'Change'. In the last five posts we focused on the importance of having the ability
to adapt and work through change as a fundamental attribute of success. So far we have examined the first
three phases of Transition: Denial, Resistance and in our last post
we introduced the third phase; 'Exploration'. We explained that
the best way to describe this phase is simply as, 'Chaos', it
is like a 'Bear' coming out of hibernation.
We gave the example of going in for a physical and the Doctor giving you
'bad news'. 'You need to lose 'X' amount of pounds, exercise, eat right, get plenty of rest and stop certain other 'un-healthy'
activities. Going into our appointment we all ready new some of the things we should have been doing for 'our health' and
we also had an 'idea' what the Doctor was going to say. We weren't surprised......yet we were too busy 'Denying
and Resisting' what we knew was the 'future' state. At the end of the appointment we came to the stark realization that we
needed to start 'Exploring' the things the Doctor suggested and now we are overwhelmed!
Once again, on
Friday I gave you some questions to think about and answer over the weekend.......Did you do it? I hope you did! 
The move through 'Resistance' and into and through 'Exploration' represent the most significant
challenges we'll face in dealing with Change. In Resistance we are using all of our energy 'holding onto the past' and that
fight is exhausting. When we decide to 'let go of the past' and embrace the new future we are again faced with 'expending'
a huge amount of energy. In 'Exporation' our energy is focused on 'embracing' the new future and 'catching up' with the many
things we should have been doing. (Remember, in Resistance we are so focused on 'fighting' against the new future
that when we do get to 'Exploring', we suddenly realize several things: #1. We should have been doing a lot of things a long
time ago to prepare for the future and #2. We now realize we are two laps down in a four lap race.)
Because
we find ourselves so far behind in the Exploration phase, we
now spend great amounts of mental and physical energy trying to catch-up and embrace this new future. As we 'fight' to
equip ourselves for this new reality, we often fight feelings of 'utter frustration'. As we are fighting, scratching,
clawing our way forward we suddenly start to realize how much time and energy we wasted in 'resistance' and also all
the things we 'should've' been doing to move forward. It is not uncommon at all to find ourselves saying: 'I should've
embraced the new change sooner and not fought against it so hard.'
(At this point all of us need to 'cut ourselves
a break'. Try your best to not beat yourself up too bad......realize this; we all do it and we all at some times in our
lives greatly struggle with some changes.....just try your best to recognize it and use it as a 'lessons' learned time.
Learn to look at the 'bright side': Maybe, through what you've learned, you'll be able to 'adapt' more quickly when you're
faced with the next change! ...... and oh by the way......that change is all ready on its way!)
Now for the 'Good News': Once we have fought our way through the 'Exploration' phase and have managed to 'catch-up', we
are now ready to enter the fourth phase: 'Commitment'. As we have done
with the other three phases; here are some words that may describe how we 'feel' or what we might 'say' as we finally enter
this phase, there will/may be:
* A 're-joining' of the team. A willingness
to work with others or engage back 'into life'; finally being/feeling OK will be evident and working with others or teamwork
will come to the fore-front.
* You will find yourself with a 'renewed' energy and/or activity level.
* You will also observe a 'clear' focus and/or plan that now starts to emerge.
As I have done
through-out all five previous posts; I would like you to take some time and think about what we have discussed today.
Please continue to explore some of the 'recent' professional and personal changes that you have experienced and examine them
by now thinking about moving into and embracing the 'Commitment' aspect
of transition.
Please think about these questions over the next day or two:
How
do you need to re-engage' back into life? Be specific? Where do you KNOW you have withdrawn and where do you now know you
need to re-engage?
Are there other people you need to make an effort to re-connect with; family members, friends,
work teammates, etc. etc?
What can you do to 're-connect' with them? How will you do it? What will or could be
a 'first' step? When will you take that 'first' step? Be specific!
How will you focus your new found energy or
activity toward the future? What specifically will you do? What action or steps could you take right now?
What
is your 'plan' for the future or at least what are some initial thoughts as to your 'future' plan.
What 'steps'
or things you should/could be doing to 'thrive' in your new reality?
After you have answered
and yes written down your thoughts......Above all else.........Do Something about it! Take Action! Harness your new found
energy. There is POWER in forward progress....make sure that as you answer the above questions, you also DO something about
it! If you're nervous, start with 'small' steps to get your momentum going forward......if you want to jump-start this process.....then
outline some 'BIG' steps/actions you will take and then take them immediately! You will never regret taking action and moving
yourself forward. By taking the action(s) YOU KNOW YOU need to take, you will be empowering YOURSELF and
embracing the change.....your new future state! Don't be scared.....there is power in forward movement.....why not experience
some advancement TODAY!
On Wednesday, we
will continue our discussion on the topic of Change and will start to explore some practical steps/tips that will help
us continue to 'Work Through Change' in our day-to-day lives. As always, until next time, thanks for listening/reading
and remember to:
'Dream
Big and Dare to Fail!'
10:23 am est
Friday, March 5, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Working Through Change' - Part 5On Wednesday we continued our exploration of the topic of 'Change'.
In the last four posts we focused on the importance of having the ability to adapt and work through change
as a fundamental attribute of success. We also discussed the 'Losses' we experience
when we go through personal or professional change and we introduced five 'Types of Loss' which
were:
* Security
* Competence
* Relationships
* Sense of Direction
*
Territory
Our exploration continued as we introduced the concept of 'Transition'
and established that this aspect of 'change' is one
of the biggest hurdles we have to go through and overcome. We introduced the four distinct phases
of 'Transition' we deal with which are: Denial, Resistance, Exploration and Commitment
and intially looked at the the first
two, Denial and Resistance.
On Wednesday I concluded
our thoughts with another 'homework' assignment.........You
knew I wouldn't forget........Did you do it?.....Did you? (I hope so!  )
Today I would like us to 'transition-through-the-transition'. What I mean is this: The first two aspects of 'Transition',
Denial and Resistance have as their focus 'holding on to the past'. During this time most of
us 'struggle' to some degree with the change whether we instituted it or it was 'forced' upon us. We cling to the past and
struggle to 'embrace' the future. Depending how bad we are struggling with the change our personal and professional productivity
are greatly impacted and diminished.
As I have alluded to in previous posts there is no 'rhyme nor reason' for
how much or little we struggle in the first two phases. Sometimes we spend very little time in 'Denial and Resistance'.....other
times we cycle back through these two areas, over and over and over again. Somehow we seem to get ourselves 'stuck' and can't
seem to get 'un-stuck' from this cycle. We go over the same things, information, feelings repeatedly searching for a
different answer, only to find the answer is still the same.....things are different....they've changed. We have all heard
this definition of 'Insantity'. 'Insanity is: Doing the same things over and over and over
again and expecting different results.'
By the above-definition, I'll bet we are all 'certifiably
insane'. Lets be honest, all of us at some point or another have gotten 'stuck' in this cycle, we all have and for a varied
amount of reasons. The challenge for us all is that you can't 'force' yourself through it, yes you can take steps that will
help you but the process still needs to unfold.....sometime quickly.....and other times pain-stakingly slow and might I add
very 'painful'.
Now whether time has done the work, we've seen the potential of the 'new future' or we just got
sick and tired, of being sick and tired....no matter what the reason, we all hopefully at some point or another, are ready
to look forward and start to 'embrace' the new situation and circumstances. When we reach that point where we can 'celebrate'
the past or just 'let go of it if need be'....when we reach that point, only then are we ready/able to honestly
move forward toward the future. At this stage we are ready for the second two aspects, Exploration
and Commitment. I want to spend the rest of our time today on the third phase of Transition, Exploration;
on Monday we'll tackle the fourth phase, Commitment.
In examining the third phase; the best way to describe
it is simply, 'Chaos', it is like a 'Bear' coming out of hibernation. Here
is what I mean: During Denial and Resistance we should be spending our time 'preparing' for the new future state, the change.
Instead of preparing we spend most of our time 'holding on to the past'. When we finally arrive at the place where we are
ready to take a 'stab' or look at this 'new future', we find ourselves behind the eight-ball. During this whole
time, when we should have been preparing and learning what we need to do to embrace and thrive in this new future, we
are caught with 'our guard down'......we aren't ready to cope with the future.
It is like going to the Doctor for
a physical and the Doctor gives you 'bad news'. 'You need to lose 'X' amount of pounds, exercise, eat right, get plenty of
rest and stop certain other 'un-healthy' activities. During this whole time before we went to the Doctor, we knew all the
things he was going to tell us....(We knew what the 'future' health state was suppossed to be.....we did!)......there were
'NO Surprises'......yet we didn't do any of the things we knew we should have been doing all the time......we were too busy 'Denying
and Resisting' them. Now we are faced with 'Exploring' all the things the Doctor suggested and we are overwhelmed; we don't
even know where to start. This is what I mean by 'Chaos and Hibernation'......we are flat overwhelmed.
Here
are some words that may describe how we 'feel' or what we might 'say' as we go into the 'Exploration' phase, there will/may
be:
* Over preparation
* Lots of new ideas
* Too much to do
* You
can't or have trouble 'focusing'
Now I would like you to take some time
and think about what we have discussed today. Please continue to explore some of the 'recent' professional and personal changes
that you have experienced and examine them by now thinking about the 'Exploration' aspect of transition.
Please think about these questions over the weekend:
Do you know 'steps' or things you should/could
be doing to 'deal' with, 'explore' or 'thrive' in your new reality? Do You? What are they?
If you haven't
taken these steps, why? Why do you continue to allow yourself to be stuck in resistance?
What are you afraid of?
Why haven't you done or started to do some of the things you know you need to do?....Be specific!
What
outside pressures, maybe from 'others' and their desires for you have kept you from moving forward? Why are you letting them
'CONTROL' your life? Are you really happy while you're doing this? Are YOU? Be Honest!
When will you have
the courage to live your life and embrace your future?....When?
What is 'NOT TAKING ACTION', costing
you emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually? Think about it and be specific.
What steps do YOU KNOW you
could take TODAY that would start the ball moving toward YOUR FUTURE STATE?
Why not 'Just Do It!'.......why not
just take some of the steps you know you need?
Why not face your fears in the face , call them what they are.......and
then determine to move forward and not look back!
Please take some time, think about ,and answer
the questions that apply to you......and please, write down you answers.....folks there is POWER in seeing your thoughts in
print. After you have answered the questions why not take the most important/critical step(s) of all.....Why not take some
action! Stop making excuses, stop trying to please everyone else and 'hang' lifelessly onto the past......it is
over.....now is the time to 'focus forward' and take massive amounts of action. By not taking the action(s) YOU KNOW YOU need
to take, you are hurting no one other than YOURSELF!
On Monday, we will continue our discussion
and explore the fourth phase of Transition, Commitment! As always, until next time, thanks for listening/reading
and remember to:
'Dream
Big and Dare to Fail!'
11:15 am est
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