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Friday, July 23, 2010
Random 'Holland' Thought s- #8 - 'Dream Big & Dare to Fail!'Welcome back on this fine Friday and
I hope your work-week is coming to a close and you're planning a great weekend. As I stated in my first post
in this series, I have decided to go on a little different path with my blog for the next several weeks due to my schedule
with Ironman training, work, guests who will be arriving to cheer me on and the race.......the race is two days away!
I have decided to 'wing-it' and talk about 'Random Holland Thoughts'. In my first six posts I shared thoughts on:
* 'Humor'
* 'Connection
to Nature'
* 'A Few Words Can Teach Big Lessons'
* 'Dreams - What to do if they don't come
true!''
* 'Actions teach so much better than words!'
* 'Respect and Watch your Mouth!'
Today's 'Random Holland Thought' is what could be considered my motto which is:
* 'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
One of my heroes in life
is Norman Vaughan www.NormanVaughan.com who lived his whole life 'Dreaming Big and Daring to Fail!' It is funny but
I have always been a 'Dreamer'.......always.....Dreaming of what I wanted to do, be, or who I wanted to share the rest of
my life with..... I can't really explain how or why I'm like this......I just am. After playing basketball in high school
and college (like many young athletes) I wanted to see if I had the ability to play in the pros. After college I wanted to
go after my 'Basketball Dream' so I contacted a coach for a local semi-pro team in Pennsylvania and arranged a 'try-out'.
When I arrived at the try-out I quickly realized I was surrounded by guys who were cut by the 'Knicks, Sixers
and Bullets' and these athletes were the real deal. Well I did my best and held my own but during the the try-out had my nose
broken for the third and hopefully last time and then when I talked with the coach afterward I was cut on top of it all. So
my dream came crashing down and I had to venture onto other dreams for my life. The beauty of this situation for me was I
tried.....now some may say I failed.....but I at least tried and now I know and can honestly look myself in the eye and say:
I wasn't good enough!
I have had so many people over the years.....arm chair athletes if you would, sit and
watch a sporting event and start boasting how 'they could do that'! I sit there and say......right dude.....I have never sat
there and looked at the NBA players and even remotely tried to say I could've made it.......I couldn't....I wasn't good enough
PERIOD......but the beauty of it was 'I Tried'! It seems so many people are scared to dream and try. They
are scared to try athletically, or to go after the job they want or persue the relationship of their dreams.....fear
of failure or what others would think if they don't make it shuts them down......so they don't even try.....they aren't willing
to 'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!.
This Sunday July
25th I will attempt something I watched for years but never attempted which is an Ironman race. At 7:00 am on Sunday morning
I will be bobbing in the lake with a couple thousand of my 'new close' friends when the start canon goes off. I will have two
of my daughters cheering for me and a few close friends, all of who have promised to be with me and follow me throughout
the day. My goal is three-fold: Make it out of the 2.4 mile swim before the cutoff time of 9:20 AM then my next goal is to
make the 112 mile bike ride cutoff time of 5:30 PM and lastly to make the 26.2 mile marathon run cu toff time of midnight. Yes it WILL be a very, very long day!
For those that want to track my progress
you should be able to find a link at www.Ironman.com The event is the Ford Lake Palcid Ironman and the bib number for Holland
Meads is 3014. People have asked me when I will finish.......my answer has been and always will
be.....I don't know. I haven't ever tried anything like this and I don't have a clue. I may not make one of the cutoff times
and if that happens my race-day is over. Again my goal is simply to finish. If I finish within the allotted time I will have
achieved my goal. If for some reason I don't make one of the time cutoffs my day will still be a success..........why?
Because I wasn't afraid and I am 'Dreaming Big and Daring to Fail!
From today through all day Sunday please
send any positive thoughts, prayers or energy my way......I will need it! 
I
shared today's 'Random Holland Thought'? for several reasons:
*
To challenge you to not be afraid to face your fears, personally, professionally and in your relationships and 'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!
* To continue letting you get to 'know' me and 'know' what makes me who I am
Once again, thanks for taking time in your busy day to share a small piece of my life and I hope
by continuing to share my 'Random Holland Thoughts' that my
'sharing' in some very small way helps fill a need in your life......even if that need is to just smile and laugh! Have
a great weekend and I will be back on Monday with my 'Race Day'
re-cap and another 'Random Holland Thought'. As always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
11:42 am edt
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Random 'Holland' Thought s- #7 - ''Respect and Watch your Mouth!'Welcome back on this fine Wednesday and
I hope you are having a productive work-week. As I stated in my first post in this series, I have decided to
go on a little different path with my blog for the next several weeks due to my schedule with Ironman training, work, guests
who will be arriving to cheer me on and the race.......the race is four days away!
I have decided to 'wing-it' and talk about 'Random Holland Thoughts'. In my first five posts I shared thoughts on:
* 'Humor'
* 'Connection
to Nature'
* 'A Few Words Can Teach Big Lessons'
* 'Dreams - What to do if they don't come
true!''
* 'Actions teach so much better than words!'
Today's 'Random Holland Thought' is
another 'childhood memory/lesson' which again involves my father and my mother and it is:
*
'Respect and Watch your Mouth!'
Hopefully you have enjoyed learning about my mother and father
through the different stories and memories I have shared. This story really involves both of my parents and again it
was demonstrated through their actions, their lives and 'lack' of certain words. I don't know how to say this
but today's youth and young adults seemed to have lost 'respect' for a whole lot of things in life. I watch how they
conduct themselves and listen to their language when they are out in public and it sometimes makes me cringe.
Now
before some of you write me emails......I know there are some very nice respectful youth and young adults out there but it
does seem to me that the numbers are shrinking quickly. My mom and dad were always respectful of each other and taught my
sister and I the same. The language in our household was always civil and I rarely heard a cuss word fly. Now I will
say this......both of my parents were in WWII and I know they heard and knew every cuss word known to man. I also
know on occasion when my dad did get very mad, hit his hand with a hammer or bumped his head he could let a few choice
words fly. The point is that was the exception as oppossed to the rule; they didn't curse in their daily lives and in their
daily communication, which was the example I grew up seeing and experiencing.
One of my teenage daughters
had a friend over a couple of months ago for a sleep over and we were sitting at the kitchen counter talking when
this young girl fired off a couple of cuss words in your average sentence. I stood there a little shocked as I knew this girl,
thought she was very nice and smart and was just caught off gaurd that she felt comfortable 'dropping' those types of words
while I was there. Now folks again I'm not trying to be some goody, goody type person and I want to acknowledge to you that I
know all those cuss words and occassionally use them. I will however say this........I can carry on whole conversations
and go for days without uttering or even thinking of uttering those types of words.
I guess what is fascinating
to me is it seems in today's world that that type of talk seems acceptable in our day-to-day communications.
One of my other daughter's friends wanted to 'friend' me on Facebook and I said 'Yes'. A few days later one of her 'posts'
popped up on my FB page and she dropped the 'F' bomb repeatedly. I responded to her by writing on her wall how I thoroughly
'DISLIKED' her post. Her response back was that they were lyrics from a song and they captured how she felt. I checked later
on to see if she deleted the post and she hadn't..... but she had deleted my 'DISLIKE' comment. I then went into my 'friends'
page and deleted her......sorry folks.....I don't need or want that type of person in my life!
My point is there
seems to be a lack of 'RESPECT' and common courtesy today. I had a whole group of people over the other week
and I invited some other neighbor friends down and they brought their eleven year old son. We were sitting around the
table and one of the women dropped the 'F' bomb and then immediately caught herself and apologized. My friend was very gracious
but I sat there fascinated that you can't have a dinner conversation without 'cussing' for emphasis......get a dictionary
and improve your vocabulary. (Now again.....I know my friend's son has heard that word before and he's not ruined for life......I
know that!) I also understand that this type of language in some ways is a 'right of passage' to young adulthood. I went
through my times of being able to curse with the best of them.....but I will also say this....it was with my friends.....and
not adults. If there were adults around I tried my best to conduct myself properly and treat them and their home with respect.
Again, I don't live in a vaccuum and I know that we all say things that are inappropriate at times. I guess I come
back to the whole issue of 'RESPECTING' others in how you conduct yourself. I will tell you this.......If I would've dropped the
'F' bomb on my parents there would have been some serious consequences. If my parents found out that I conducted myself inappropriately
at someone else's house by what I said or what I did I would've had to face the band when I got home.....you better believe
it.
I will never forget the first time I cussed in front of my parents.....it happened to be in front of my mom.
I was in middle school and I was talking or arguing with mom about something and I said: 'I don't
give a damn.' Once I said it; I realized I had made a huge mistake by the look in my mother's eyes. Instantly
I knew I had walked down the wrong path on that day. My mom went to the kitchen 'spice' cabinet and got the 'Tabasco'
sauce.......when I saw that coming I ran down the hall into my bedroom but she was right behind me. Now in middle school
I was all ready well over six feet tall and dwarfed my mother so if she thought I was going to open my mouth and let
her shoot the 'Tabasco' sauce in my mouth she was mistaken. I held on for a moment until I felt her hand with two strong
fingers squeezing and pinching my mouth so it would open.....next thing I knew.....I was experiencing three or four quick
squirts in my mouth and then it was over.....that was it.....there was no more discussion.
(Now please don't send
me any emails about how cruel that was or how that wouldn't be allowed or permitted in today's world. Please save me all the
'Pop-Psychology' jargon.......you my friend are watching too many TV shows.)
My mom with three shakes
of her hand taught me a lesson forever and I'm not a 'serial-killer' because of it......good for you mom....I needed
it and am thankful for your tough stand. I only think I ever cursed around her one other time and it was when I was
36 years old and had just gone through a divorce. I was sitting in my mom and dad's home and I was upset and talking about
things and I swore........I can remember that moment to this day. Now I want you to know my mom didn't correct me
or go get the 'Tabasco' sauce.......but I can tell you this.....I was mortified that I had let it slip.
I
guess what I'm trying to say is that my parents weren't afraid to be parents. They were parents first and foremost and
they lived their lives by example in word and deed. They didn't use that type of language and they also taught my sister and
I to 'respect' others. I can't say I have been as good an example to my kids as my mom and dad were to me but I sure
have tried. One of the greatest thrills for me as a dad is to see my kids hold a door open for someone, help someone, say;
Yes Sir and No Mame. I know they are not perfect.....none of us are but I appreciate that they are trying to conduct themselves
respectfully.
As many of you know; my daughter's have now moved to Seattle with their mom and step-dad and will
no longer be attending school in the Saranac Lake School system. I had a teacher over at the house several weeks ago who both
of my daughters had had as an instructor and both loved! He is a very well respected teacher by the other faculty and students
alike and during our conversation I shared that the girls had moved away to Seattle. Once I shared about their move I
was blown away by his response, he said: 'They are great girls that bring a whole lot to our school.
Their absence will be noticed and will represent a significant loss to our school system. We need young women
like them in our schools.'
I was overwhelmed and thankful for his response and in a small way knew
that how their mother, their step-dad and I raised them is paying off. Again, I can't campare my abilities to my mom
and dad but even if I reach 75% of their level......I will have been a huge success as a dad.
Once again I shared
today's 'Random Holland Thought'? for several reasons:
* Because
I think this is a great example of 'PARENTS who weren't afraid of being PARENTS'
(Thanks Mom and Dad (RIP) for teaching us RESPECT and to Watch our Mouths!)
* To honor my Mom (Who is/was
a great example and teacher.....but to this day I'm not a Tabasco Sauce fan.....guess what though....I think I'll be
able live without it! Smile)
* As I have said in the previous posts, to continue to help you get to 'know' me and
'know' what makes me who I am
Once
again, thanks for taking time in your busy day to share a small piece of my life and some of my funny but tough, 'Life
Lessons'. I also continue to hope that my 'sharing' in some very small way helps fill a need in your life......even
if that need is to just smile and laugh! Have a great rest of the week and I will be back on Friday with another 'Random Holland Thought'. As always, thanks for
listening/reading and remember to:
3:24 pm edt
Monday, July 19, 2010
Random 'Holland' Thought s- #6 - 'Actions teach so much better than words!'Welcome back on a rainy Monday in
the Adirondack Mountains and I hope you had a great fun-filled weekend with those you love. As I stated in
my first post in this series I have decided to go on a little different path with my blog for the next several weeks
due to my schedule with Ironman training, work, guests who will be arriving to cheer me on and the race.......the race
is six days away!
I have decided to 'wing-it' and talk about 'Random Holland Thoughts'. In my first five posts I shared thoughts on:
* 'Humor'
* 'Connection
to Nature'
* 'A Few Words Can Teach Big Lessons'
* 'Dreams - What to do if they don't come
true!''
Today's 'Random Holland Thought' is another 'childhood
memory/lesson' which once again involves my mother and it is:
* 'Actions teach
so much better than words!'
Hopefully you have enjoyed learning about my mother and father
through the different stories and memories I have shared. My mom and dad were a wonderful pair and wonderful team. They
were united as parents....you couldn't play one against the other and they both taught, corrected, loved and supported
my sister and I in our many different endeavors. One of the 'unique' traits of my mom and dad was that they 'shared'
the discipline and correction side of parenting when it came to their children. I will say this about my mom.....she didn't
back away from 'correcting/disciplining' us when needed.......I never, ever heard her pull the 'Wait until your father comes
home card!'....NEVER. If it needed dealt with and corrected.....it was.....on the spot.
I honestly had a wonderful
childhood.....I really did. We lived in a wonderful development with lots of neighbors and other children but it also had
plenty of fields, farmland and woods that were readily accessible for us to explore. One of my friend's dads used his riding
lawn mower to cut the weeds down in a vacant field and we created our own little baseball field. We built tree houses, played
sports outside, rode our bikes everywhere (without helmets.....) and played capture the flag and a host of other games.
My mom and dad realized early on; I was all boy and needed lots to do to keep me occupied and they encouraged my participation
in sports and anything that had to do with being outdoors and active. Behind our house was a farm field with a fence and the
cows would come right up to the fence and I can remember taunting them through the fence.....yes I was all boy. Yes and one
time I wanted my sister to play with me and she wouldn't.......she had to 'practice her piano' and I got mad.......I rushed
into the house......grabbed her piano books as she was practicing, headed out to the fence and threw them over the
fence to the cows. I won't go into the amount of 'trouble' I got in for doing that but I will always remember the neighbor
lady Mrs. Fry coming out with apples and drawing the cows away as my sister scouried over the fence and retrieved her books.......Yes
I was/am an 'IMP' (I was a Bad Boy and now I'm just a bigger version......now I'm a Bad, Bad Man! Smile!)
My parents knew I needed to be active and they allowed me to build my own 'tree' house in some trees on the back of
our lot. Now this wasn't a tree house built by my dad......I built it and it ended up having seven different 'floors/levels'
by the time it was done years later. It was built out of scrap lumber I found or occassionally bought. In our neighborhood
my parents were one of the first houses in the development and there were many new homes being built all the time. After the
workmen would leave my dad and I would go investigate the new sites. My dad knew many of the workmen and asked if they had
any scrap lumber that they were going to throw away and he would ask if they could leave it out on a pile and I would
use it for my treehouse. So every couple days we would go retrieve any wood scraps they left and that is how my 'house'
grew to be seven floors.
I would also go up to the homes after the workman left and look for 'bent' nails. Back
then they didn't have any 'nail-guns' and all the nail were hammered in by hand. In the course of the day the workman would
end up 'bending' through a mis-hit with their hammer whole bunches of nails. I was allowed to go and collect any 'bent' nails
and bring them back for my 'treehouse'. Once I got back to my house I would take the bent nails and pound them back straight
and once the were straight or 'semi-straight' I would use them in my building project. I don't know if I ever bought that
many new nails for my project as there were always 'bent' ones available.
One night I went patrolling
for nails and when I got to one home.......I found a half box of new nails that were left out and not put away. Well I continued
collecting my 'bent' nails but the thought of that half box of 'new' nails finally got the better of me. I took all the 'bent'
nails I had collected and the half box of 'new' nails back home. I don't know how it happened.......I guess it is another
one of those mother 'ESP' type gifts.....but I was at home straightening my nails and adding them to the box of 'new' nails
I just stole when somehow mom came out.....I don't know if it was dinner time or what but there she stood.......watching me
continue to straighten my nails.
Now maybe it was because I had a 'small box' to put the nails I straightened
in and I never had had a box before or what.....or maybe it was that mother 'ESP' thing again......or the 'guilt' written
all over my face. The next thing I remember was mom picking up the box and starting to examine the nails. I can remember 'hoping'
I had enough of my 'straightened' ones on top to hide the 'new' nails underneath but mom fingered her way down through the
box and pulled out several of the 'new shiny straight' nails and looked at me. Again, mom wasn't a lady of a lot of words......She
just asked if I 'stole' these new nails from one of the houses......(Again I'm not stupid......) I said 'Yes'!
Once
again I don't remember having a big discussion about it.....she didn't 'discipline' me or scold me.....or ask me how I could
do such a thing........she new I was a kid. We conducted the rest of the night like nothing had happened and I thought that
was the end of it. The next morning I got up as usual, dad had gone to work and l was ready to start my summer day when
my mom said: 'Come with me.....we're going to see the workmen!' (Notice she didn't pawn this off on my dad.....she dealt
with me and it....yea Mom!) As she said that I looked in her hand and there was the box of nails. I don't remember
much of our conversation other than she told me that once we got there......she would find the 'head carpenter' and then I
would return the nails to him and tell him I stole them from the house last night.
I don't know how far we walked.....probably
only a quarter mile or so.....but it seemed like it was miles and seemed like it took forever. Well, we arrived at the house
and my mother went in and found the 'head carpenter' and out he came. All I remember was he was HUGE and had a scruffy beard.
My mother stood back as I went up to this man and explained very briefly and while trembling, what I had done. Man I can remember
staring up at this guy thinking he is the largest man in the world. When I got done he knelt down on one knee.......thanked
me for my honesty and for returning the nails. He asked me what I was building and I told him a 'treehouse'. He then
asked me: 'Do you promise not to steal any more good nails?' I nervously but quickly said 'I promise I won't!' He then
said good......Before I left he thanked me once again for being honest and returning them.....then he said: 'Here, you can
have the rest of this box.....we don't need them......now go build your 'treehouse'.
I can remember smiling from
ear-to-ear that I had a 'new' box of nails. I once again promised him I wouldn't 'steal' any more good nails and I rushed
over to my mom. She explained on the walk home how 'nice' it was for the man to give me the box of nails but she also gracefully
pointed out that he was generous for doing that. She continued to point out that I should realize that he didn't have
to give me those nails......they were his nails and not mine. She continued: 'He did that to be kind and to honor that you
did the 'right' thing in admitting it and returning the nails. The only other thing she said was that even if he had
'NOT' given me the nails.....the 'RIGHT' thing for me to do was to be honest......admit my mistake, ask forgiveness and return
the nails. She concluded: 'Holland, our choices/actions always have consequences, and when you make a 'poor' choice,
you need to be ready to face those consequences.'
I shared today's 'Random Holland Thought'? for several reasons:
*
Because I think this is a great example of a parent teaching: 'Acions
DO speak louder than words!' (Thanks Mom, I Love You!)
* To honor my Mom (Who still is
and was a wonderful teacher, albeit, more with actions than with words!)
* As I have said in the previous
posts, to continue to help you get to 'know' me and 'know' what makes me who I am
Once again, thanks for taking time in your busy day to share a small piece of my life and some of my
funny but tough, 'Life Lessons'. I also continue to hope that my 'sharing' in some very small way helps
fill a need in your life......even if that need is to just smile and laugh! Have a great work week and I will be
back on Wednesday with another 'Random
Holland Thought'. As always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
1:42 pm edt
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(Also, please join me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Holland-Meads-Consulting/299612940256 or you can email me with any thoughts/questions at Holland@HollandMeads.com Remember to enjoy your journey......the ride is a hoot!)