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Friday, July 16, 2010
Random 'Holland' Thought s- #5 - 'Dreams - What to do if they don't come true!'Welcome back on a rainy Friday in the
Adirondack Mountains of up-state New York. I hope you have had a productive work week and are getting ready for a fun weekend
with those you love. As I stated in my first post in this series I have decided to go on a little different path
with my blog for the next several weeks due to my schedule with Ironman training, work, guests who will be arriving to cheer
me on and the race.......the race is ten days away! 
I have decided to 'wing-it' and talk about 'Random Holland Thoughts'. In my first three posts I shared thoughts on:
* 'Humor'
* 'Connection
to Nature'
* A Few Words Can Teach Big Lessons!'
Today's 'Random Holland Thought' is
from my 'Facebook Fan Page' for Holland Meads Consulting. Each day on my Facebook page I post a 'quote or thought' for the
day and the purpose of these quotes are to inspire, challenge and make the people who follow me think about the
concept shared. This week I posted the following quote:
'I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered
my nightmares because of my DREAMS.' - Jonas Salk
After I posted this quote I received this question from one of the people that 'Likes' my Facebook Fan Page,
Nnadozie asked:
10:02 am edt
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Random 'Holland' Thought s- #4 - 'A Few Words Can Teach Big Lessons!'Welcome back on this fine Wednesday to Holland Meads Consulting. As
I stated in my first post in this series I have decided to go on a little different path with my blog for the next several
weeks due to my schedule with Ironman training, work, guests who will be arriving to cheer me on and the race.
I have decided to 'wing-it' and talk about 'Random Holland Thoughts'. In my first two posts I shared thoughts on:
* 'Humor'
* 'Connection to Nature'
Over the last three posts I have shared some insights into my father and through those thoughts
hopefully you have also gotten to know me a little better. I received several comments/posts from people after my post on
Monday and I just wanted to say 'Thank You' for taking the time to read my 'Random Thoughts' and then to respond. Your kind
words meant more than you can know to me......they really did!
Today's I want to share my third 'Random Holland Thought' and it is:
* A
Few Words Can Teach Big Lessons!'
As I share my thoughts today I will shift my illustration/thoughts
from talking about my dad to my mom. Now my mom is still alive and lives in Dallas so we'll see what she thinks of my
thoughts/insights....(Smile Mom!  )...Here we go!
I don't know if this is true for you or not but it is for me; there are certain memories that stay
with you throughout your life......it seems that you can re-live them like it happened yesterday even though it may have happened
years or in my case decades ago. The story I'm about to share probably happened over 45 years ago for me but I can see it
and feel it like it was yesterday. Before I share the story I would like to make some general observations about 'Moms' in
general.
Now we all know mothers are a special breed.......they can heal all types of physical wounds with
a touch.......they are there for you during those tough emotional times growing up where they seemed to always know the 'right'
words to say to heal those 'mental/emotional' hurts ....they are psychic and know what you did....they are teachers.......they
are kind and loving...... but can also put the fear of God into you....they are indeed a rare breed and my mother fits the
above category to a T.
When I shared my 'nature' thoughts about my dad one of the comments/observations I made
was that my father wasn't a big talker. Although we spent a whole lot of time together fishing we didn't fill the air with
conversation we were both quite content being quiet and enjoying and appreciating nature. My mother was also somewhat quiet....or
better yet.....she was a woman of few words. When mom spoke.....she meant it and she wasn't going to repeat it it a hundred
times......she said it.......period.
To digress a moment I was in the grocery store the other day and a mother
was in there with her 6 or 7 year old boy. He asked her for a soda at the check-out and his mom said 'No'. After she
said 'No', that boy must have asked her twenty more times for that soda......it got so bad even the cashier was saying: 'Soda
is not good for you why don't you have some juice.' The boy kept on and on....now I will say this.....the mom didn't give-in
but her son was relentless. As I watched this whole event unfold I flashed back to moments with my mom as a kid and started
laughing just because that wouldn't have flown in my world. If mom said 'NO'.....it meant......'NO'.....period. She wasn't
a woman of a lot of words and when she spoke....she meant it......probably that good 'German' heritage of hers.
When
I was about the age of the young man I just described above my mom and I went shopping in August right before school started
for the year. We were at one of the big department stores in our area and I don't really remember what we were shopping for
but I do remember that back-to-school supplies were every where in the store. We were milling around and we walked beside
a huge bin of 'loose number two pencils'. There must have been thousands of pencils in this huge bin and you could pick out
as many as you needed....the sign said: 'Three pencils for a quarter'. Of course I asked my mom
if we could get some pencils and she said 'No' we didn't need any, we had plenty at home.
Mom was continuing to
look around the store and I hung around the pencil bin......I was just so intrigued by how many pencils there were in this
big bin. As I was standing there I looked around to see if my mom was right there and she wasn't....she was down one aisle
from where I was. Now many of you think you know where I'm going with this story.....you think I was going to 'steal' a pencil......you're
wrong. I don't know why I did what I did, whether I was mad at my mom for saying 'No' or whether I thought with the shear
volume of pencils they wouldn't miss one.....I don't know what went through my head. But, after I looked around to make sure
one more time that mom wasn't within sight.....I reached into the bin.....grabbed a pencil, broke it in half and stuck
the two pieces back into the bin of thousands.
Now I swear to you the 'SNAP' of that pencil breaking wasn't that loud......it just wasn't......but it was loud
enough for the 'Super Hearing' of my mother to pick up and the next thing I knew she came whipping around
the corner back to the bin where I was still standing. The look on my face must have said it all because all she said was:
'Where is it?'........I didn't dare say: 'Where is what?'
(Folks I'm not that stupid....even as a kid!) She stared at me as I reached into the bin and pulled out the two halves of
that number two pencil. She told me then to pick out two more pencils; so now I had two 'whole' pencils and one broken one.
She then went into her purse, handed me a quarter and marched me over to the register and cashier.
Mom
stood a few steps behind me in line as my time to 'pay' (literally and figuratively speaking) came. I put the three pencils
on the conveyor and watched them move slowly up toward the cashier. When they arrived to her she picked up the two whole pencils
and the one broken one and I handed her my quarter. She very kindly and sweetly said: 'Sonny, your one pencil is broken.....we
can get you a new one.' I didn't say a word but just stood there......then the cashier looked at mom behind me in
line and MOM SPOKE: 'He broke it!' That was all
she said........'He broke it!' That cashier didn't say another word......she
took my quarter and put my pencils in a bag and mom and I went home.
I guess what is so fascinating about this
is what didn't happen after we left the store. Now, the ride on the way home was quiet but once we were home the
subject was never broached again......it was finished. My mom didn't need to beat a dead horse or go into the 'psychology'
of why I would do what I did....I did it......we/she dealt with it.....it is over......period.
And guess what folks,
I got the message! My mom taught me a wonderful 'Life Lesson' in six words: 'Where
is it?....and....He broke it!'
Today's 'Random Holland
Thought'? is shared for several reasons:
* Because
some times I feel: 'Less, truly is more', you don't have to say a lot of words to teach. 'Acions DO speak louder than words!'
* To honor my Mom
(Who still is and was a wonderful teacher, albeit, with very few words!)
* As I have said in the previous
posts, to continue to help you get to 'know' me and 'know' what makes me who I am
Once again, thanks for taking time in your busy day to share a small piece of my life and some of my
funny now....but tough then, 'Life Lessons'. I also continue to hope that my 'sharing' in some very small
way helps fill a need in your life......even if that need is to just smile and laugh! Have a great latter part of
the week and I will be back on Friday with another 'Random
Holland Thought'. As always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
12:22 pm edt
Monday, July 12, 2010
Random 'Holland' Thought s- #3 - 'Connection to Nature Part 2'Welcome back to Holland Meads Consulting. I hope you have had a great weekend
and are having a productive Monday. As I stated in my first post in this series I have decided to go on a little
different path with my blog for the next several weeks due to my schedule with Ironman training, work, guests who will be
arriving to cheer me on and the race.
I have decided to 'wing-it' and talk about 'Random
Holland Thoughts'. In my first two posts I shared thoughts on:
* 'Humor'
*
'Connection to Nature'
Today's thoughts have a two-fold function:
#1. To reinforce the second random thought above, 'Connection to Nature' and #2, to share a story that happened to me yesterday.
Sierra and Mariah,
two of my daughters, arrived from their home in Seattle late Saturday night and will be here through my Ironman race.
This week both girls will be attending a wonderful church camp, Guggenheim, (http://catholiccamps.org/guggenheimlanding.html) located on lower Saranac Lake. One of the beautiful things about where we live is that we have so many lakes and
many of them are connected by rivers so you can navigate from one to the next. It was a lovely sunshine filled day on Sunday
so instead of 'driving the car' to the camp we loaded up all their gear, bought lunch at the Lakeview Deli, launched my boat
and had a leisurely boat ride to camp.
After we launched the boat, we zoomed through the first couple lakes
and got to the damn at the lower end of the Saranac River where there is a set of 'locks' that you must go through
that raises you to the height of the river above the damn. At the locks, my friend John is the attendant and he 'raised'
us to the upper water level and we cruised leisurely up the river. On the river you have to maintain a five-mile-per-hour
speed limit so that was a great time to eat; so we put some music on, got our lunches out, enjoyed nature and ate.
Once we ate our lunches I knew we had another 30 minute slow cruise in the river so we turned the music
off and just talked about the up-coming week at camp. I asked the girls what they wanted to get out of camp this week
and I was blown away at the depth of their responses. I also challenged them to use this time and week to really pray
for the things that they wanted to see in their lives and other people's lives. I shared for them to be specific in their
prayers and don't just get in the habit of praying 'God Bless' everyone.......then I asked them some of the things they wanted
to focus on this week in their prayer time. The following is a partial list of some of the things they shared were on their
heart and they wanted to pray specifically for:
* Their mom Diane to continue to
settle in well with her new job in Seattle
* John (Diane's husband) as he gets used to a new part of the country
* That their Dad (me) would find his 'Bella' (The Love of His Life! This reference comes out of the 'Twilight' series
 . I asked them about this specific prayer request and found out that my daughters are 'very concerned' that once they
leave after the Ironman, their dad will be all alone. One of them shared that she has prayed that prayer for me for the
last year and a half.....every night......So it seems my daughters want me to find my 'Bella'  )
Once we were in the lower lake we had a five minute run to the 'Guggenheim Camp' where we beached
the boat at the camp swimming beach, off loaded their gear and were the first campers registered for the week. After we got
them registered and their gear in their appropriate rooms I said 'goodbye' and went back to my boat for my trip 'alone' (Smile)
back the river to my home!
Once I left the camp I went and just enjoyed the sunshine and beauty of the
lake and surrounding mountains. After such a deeply rewarding conversation time with Sierra and Mariah I decided at one point
to just shut down the engine in the middle of lower Saranac Lake and float. I put a towel down on the bow of the
boat, got a pillow for my head and just laid their 'tanning', relaxing, praying and thinking. It was amazing to just lay there,
feel the elements and listen to the sounds: The gentle rocking of the boat, waves lapping against the side, a nice breeze
carrying the mountain smells, the warmth of the sun, the sounds of other boat engines and an occasional delightful
scream of a child as they were pulled on a tube behind one of the boats.
It is hard to express in words
all the feelings and thoughts that went through my mind. At one point I closed my eyes and was 'napping/thinking' only to
be awakened by the constant call of a seagull. Now folks I'm used to seagulls and their calls but this call was different
and obnoxious.....it wasn't the call of a bird that went flying by me.....it was a constant call the kept repeating itself
over and over again. When I first heard it I just kept my eyes closed thinking the gull would fly away in a few seconds and
the sound would stop. When the calls didn't stop after what seemed like several minutes I opened my eyes to see what
the heck was transpiring. As I opened my eyes, I looked straight up and was amazed at what I saw and then quickly realized
why the call would not go away.
When my eyes opened, the first thing I saw in the bright blue sky was
one of our many 'Bald Eagles' who live in our part of the world circling right above me. It was so amazing and majestic to
see his white head and tail as he rode gracefully and seemingly without effort the currents of wind right above me. He seldom
flapped his wings but was just cruising in circles scanning the water below looking for his next dinner. What was also so
amazing about what I saw was what the gull was doing.....he was relentlessly dive-bombing the eagle.......I mean relentlessly.
The gull would squawk and call and dive at the eagle.....the eagle would dodge the on-coming missile, flap his wings once
or twice and continue circling. Then the gull would come back around again and do the same thing over and over again. I laid
their on the bow of my boat in shear amazement as I watched this 'attack' transpire repeatedly.
This whole dive-bombing
process continued right above me for five minutes without stopping. I sat there and wondered why that eagle didn't somehow
clobber that gull and make him stop.......but he didn't......he just kept patiently alluding the gull and continued to circle
looking for dinner. After another five minutes of putting up with this gull, the eagle had finally had enough; in
a couple powerful strokes of that six foot wingspan he rode the currents of the wind and left that gull in the dust, looking
for dinner in another part of the lake......Within thirty seconds that eagle was so far away I couldn't see even a trace of
him in the blue sky anymore.
After he flew away I smiled, looked up to heaven, said a prayer and thanked
my dad.........I knew my dad had whispered in the eagle's ear to come visit his son who was there on the water. I always
view eagles in a way that reminds me of 'God'.....as I see them circling round and round so high up in the air I am reminded
of what they can see from their vantage point. That vision the eagle sees, to me is 'God's' reminder that he (God) sees me
and has a much bigger, broader view of my life than I do. I guess in a way it is a reminder for me to keep my 'perspective'
and be reminded that I can't see the challenges and blessings down the road......but God can.....and he will be there circling
with me! (Bella or no Bella in my life! Smile again!)
Today I had to share this
'Random Holland Thought'? for several reasons:
* Because
it reinforced last Friday's post of 'Connection to Nature'
* In continues to honor my Dad
(Who I know is quite proud of his grandchildren and is glad they are connected to nature and God's Creation.)
* As I have said previously, to continue to help you get to 'know' me and what makes me who I am
My friends, again thanks for taking the time in your busy day to share some of my life and what life
is trying to teach me. I appreciate it more than you know and hope in some very small way something I have shared has
helped fill a need in your life. Have a great next few days and I will be back on Wednesday with another 'Random Holland Thought'. As always, thanks for
listening/reading and remember to:
3:24 pm edt
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In today's 'Random Holland Thought' I will 'attempt' to do my best to answer this 'difficult and deep' question. The first challenge we have to all wrestle with is this: 'What is a real dream.......something you really want to accomplish....something you feel you were 'meant' at some level to do.......and what is a 'like to dream'......I would 'like' to visit Africa sometime......I would 'like' to sail sometime......etc......etc.'
The challenge for many of us is we 'confuse' the two thoughts above and also sometimes the line between the two ideas above can be quite 'thin' and can be very difficult to discern which aspect it is.
Let me tackle the 'easy' side first......'Like to Dreams'........Let's say, I would love to sail our own 40 foot sail boat down the east coast of the United States with my soul mate for several weeks, taking in all the sights and sounds. This for me would be a 'fun, like dream', but can I be honest......on a scale of '1-10' with 10 being the Have to.......I'll die if I don't do it.....this is probably a 2.......it would be fun and 'romantic' to do....but I won't feel like my life has failed or is somehow 'incomplete' if I don't accomplish this item.
Now the harder portion of this question is what do we do about those 'deep, real dreams'.....those things you feel you were 'destined for or meant' to accomplish. First, I guess in my opinion; very, very few people have 'real deep dreams' that they want to accomplish. Most people don't think that deeply about their life, why they were placed on this earth and what they were 'meant' to accomplish while they were here. If they do they think about it and feel directed to a specific area thay may make a 'feeble' attempt at accomplishing their dream but once they meet an obstacle or two they will quit and lay their dream aside.
Now for those people who really stop and 'LISTEN' to that 'Still Small Voice' within their heart and then feel their dream is a particular item, area or vocation, this process becomes more complex and there isn't a simple answer. I have at times 'felt' like I listened to that still small voice and went after a certain dream only to meet with 'failure'. Now, as time went by, afterwards I think I get/recieve more clarity as to the 'why' I didn't accomplish what I wanted. Many times I come to the conclusion that I was 'better' off for not accomplishing it than if I would've. (Hindsight is always 'perfect' vision!) I view these moments as learning lessons and sometimes the only way we can learn and get deeper clarity is through 'trial and error'.
I also think sometimes we don't accomplish something we have dreamt to accomplish because we don't go after it with everything we have.....we don't lay it ALL on the line.......We stick our toes in.....maybe up to our mid-section but we refuse to just jump and get our head wet. When we don't accomplish something I think afterward we have to use our time to self-assess as to whether we really brought 100% of our effort to the table to accomplish this or were we honestly just wading. Many times we 'think' we put it ALL on the line but in honest 'self-assessment' we didn't lay it all on the line for many varied reasons. (Scared....Do I have the talent or ability?.....What if we fail....What will others say or think?....and the list goes on and on......)
Lastly, for me it comes back to a 'Life Perspective' I hold and have shared at different times in my blog. 'Life is NOT (for me) a destination, a goal to arrive to or attain.....it is a journey of becoming......I will never, ever arrive......I will just become.' There are times in my life that I went after a 'Dream' only to have it fail and blow-up in my face for various reasons. Sometimes even after some deep introspection I still don't know a 'concrete' answer as to why I wasn't able to attain something I thought I was maybe meant to do or had 'dreamed' of doing.
My grandparents were married 63 years and my mom and dad 51 years.......it was my 'dream/hope' to be 'like' them and find my 'soul-mate, my Bella' and be together for the rest of our lives together. I have 'tried' twice and haven't achieved what I 'dreamed of' and the example that was set before me. Now I will have to live to be over a hundred to make that happen......(Smile). However I will tell you this......I have become a 'better' person for having been through what I have been through and continue to 'Hold to that dream'. I want my 'Bella' in my life and want to hold onto her for the rest of my days......I will never let go of that dream.....no matter when or how long it takes for that to happen!
All of this goes back to my 'Life Philosophy or Creed' if you will that I will always be becoming.....I will never 'arrive'. I don't know if any of what I'm saying makes sense and I look forward to any thoughts or comments but I guess I will 'leave' this discussion with this thought. I feel God uses the 'tattered' and 'broken' people of the world to do his work. David was thought of as a 'Man after God's own Heart' yet he made plenty of wrong judgements. If you study Jesus' lineage he had a 'prostitute' in his family line.....not quite the 'lineage' I would choose. Look at the bunch of 'mis-fit' disciples Jesus choose......Fisherman....Tax Collectors.....not what you would call the 'cream of the crop'.
I guess my point is this: There is a great line from the movie 'Tombstone' about Wyatt Earp. At the end of the movie Wyatt's friend John, 'Doc' Holliday was dying from TB. Wyatt went to visit him in the sanitarium and they were playing cards. Doc asked Wyatt what he wants out of life? Wyatt answered....."Just to live a 'NORMAL' life" Doc answered: "There isn't a 'NORMAL' Life Wyatt......there is Just LIFE!" Wyatt had lost all he had and was in LOVE with Josie Markham but was afraid to go back after her. The movie concludes with 'Doc' challenging him to go after Josie again......(Wyatt's Bella). Wyatt did......and he and Josie married and then spent the next 48 years together.....by each other's side!
I don't know if any of this helps or answers Nnadozie's question and I don't think there is a definitive answer. I do believe that we all need to 'Dream Big and Dare To Fail!. Sometimes we will accomplish our big dreams......and sometimes we won't......I guess it comes back to the statement I shared several paragraphs ago.....Life is not a destination.....it is about becoming the best I can be.....through my successes and my failures......all of these teach me and help me become who I am supposed to be. I will always be a 'DREAMER' for the rest of my days and I will continue pursuing those dreams knowing.....some I will attain and others I won't.......but I know this: I will become from the process and for that......it is worth the effort whether I 'Attain the Dream or Not!'.
Once again, thanks for taking time to 'Ask the question' and allowing me to share a small piece of my life and thoughts with you. I continue hoping that my 'sharing' in some very small way helps fill a need in your life......or atleast makes you 'think'. (Smile!) Have a great rest of your Friday and a great weekend......I hope you spend it with your 'Bella or Jim or whomever'. I will be back again on Monday with another 'Random Holland Thought'. As always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
(Also, please join me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Holland-Meads-Consulting/299612940256 or you can email me with any thoughts/questions at Holland@HollandMeads.com Remember to enjoy your journey......the ride is a hoot!)