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Friday, July 2, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Life Skills' - ConclusionWelcome Back to what are my 'concluding' thoughts on 'Life
Skills'. It is hard to believe we embarked on this series on Friday, May 14th and here
we are on Friday July 2nd. I have heard my mother say throughout her life: 'Where does the time
go?' I used to not understand that thought but now, many years later, I have to agree with her as it seems to
be passing so very quickly.
In our series on 'Life Skills' we have explored these eleven topics/traits in our previous posts:
#1. 'Never Ever Stop Dreaming'
#2. 'Transparancy'
#3. 'Authenticity'
#4. 'Strength of Character'
#5. 'Face your Fears'
#6. 'Honesty'
#7.
'Life Choices'
#8.
'Faith'
#9. 'Life Purpose'
#10. 'Facing Life Transistions'
#11. Never, Ever Quit!
I began this series with this premise:
'What 'characteristics/skills/traits' would I/we want to pass onto our children or others?' Based on your input and
some of my thoughts I came up with the above eleven 'characteristics to be part of the 'Life
Skills' series. Now I know our list is not exhaustive and you may look at the above
thoughts and see other traits you feel are missing and you may also feel some of the traits I shared shouldn't be
in the list at all. As I have said all along the beauty of life is that it is NOT a race......not a destination.....it is
a journey and what we become on the way is more deeply important than 'any destination'.
As I reflect
back over our list of traits; I have to say I really like what we came up with....I really do! If we, our children and others
can embrace and practice these traits through out our lifetimes, I feel the world would be a better place for all involved.
I especially like them as a reminder to our children. I have said to all my kids: 'I don't
care what you want to be and do with your life........but whatever it is....be PASSIONATE about your choice and give it everything
you have......leave it all on the table if you will!
Sometimes as I write I wonder if 'my
audience/readers' sense that I am writing the best I can from my heart and life......quite frankly....it is ALL I know how
to do. It is who I am and where I am in my station in life. As we go into the Fourth of July weekend celebrations (for those
of you in the States! ) I am facing and going through my own interesting 'Facing Life's Transitions'
time for me personally.
On June 25th my daughters Sierra and Mariah moved to Seattle Washington. I won't bore
you with all the details but their mother, Diane got a wonderful, once in a lifetime, job opportunity with a company headquartered
in Seattle. Before Diane accepted the position she obviously talked with her husband John but then made it a point to talk
with me about the potential opportunity. Diane and I met at a walking trail in our area with the dogs in tow and Diane explained
the opportunity. As she explained it she turned to me and said: 'I won't take it if you're not OK with it!'
It
is funny how these traits come to play and interconnect one with another. I have said to the girls that I want them to experience
life.....life outside our cozy little village with 6 traffic lights in the whole town! I have had the privelege and opportunity
to live in many different States and many different cities in my lifetime and all of them brought something to my life. I
also have a deep 'Faith and Belief in God' and that things happen for
a reason. On our walk that day I said to Diane: 'You have to take this opportunity and give the girls the experience of living
in Seattle and also being near their extended family.' (Diane's brother and sister and their families live in that area of
the country.)
With that said......Sierra and Mariah are gone! Yes they will be back this summer for my Ironman
race but then once that is over I probably won't see them again until November or December. Yes we'll email, facebook, Skype,
text and call but gone are the days of them living with their Dad. For the last 5 and 1/2 years I have alternated weeks with
Diane and the girls have been an integral part of my life. I have learned to cook a lot better (Smile girls!) and we have
developed a whole slew of Dad and girls traditions......that sadly......are done! Here are two photos of them on the last
day of school this year. They were at my house for the last week and I watched them get ready and get on the bus one last
time. I spent that morning periodically going upstairs in my home to cry as I didn't want to 'upset' them on their last day
of school.

Each year for the last several years I have taked photos of the girls on the 'first' day of school. This
time I was taking it on their 'last' day of school in the only school system they have ever known!

This shot was from my upper deck, off my bedroom where I would watch each day as the bus picked the girls up for
school. I never thought I would cry that much seeing the bus pull away for the last time!
My friends.....I share these very personal thoughts so you get to know me in a personal way. I don't share them to make
you 'sad' for me but really as an illustration that I face the same (and different challenges) as all of you do and this
is my opportunity to say what I have said repeatedly in my blog.......it is about the JOURNEY my friends. I guess I wanted
to conclude this series by sharing a little of my journey with you!
Do I miss Sierra and Mariah.......YES......more
than words can express! Yet, I also have to believe and 'Trust God'
that he has things for them to learn and for their father to learn during this time. This will be the first 'Holiday' weekend
I will spend alone........again folks it is not good....or bad......it just 'Is What it IS!' I do know that
this, is all part of my and the girls journey and it will help us all 'continue becoming' who we are to be! I know it
will be sad and tough at times for all parties involved.......I know that......But I am so thankful for our and my journey.
My hope and prayer is that you have enjoyed reading my thoughts.......maybe been challenged in your thinking a little....and
also, maybe somehow you have been 'helped along' on your journey. As I look back over these eleven traits I hope Sierra and
Mariah and my other children will live and embrace these attributes all the days of their lives......if they do......the ride
will be a hoot!
Again, thank you to all the people who shared their thoughts and ideas with me throughout this
series by email and Facebook posts. I appreciate you taking the time to share your insights and comments......keep them coming!
Have a great weekend and I hope you will take a moment and offer a prayer and a thanks to all of our men and women in the
Military who preserve our freedoms......Thanks for 'Standing in the Gap! I will
be back on Wednesday, July 7th with some new thoughts so until then, as always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream
Big and Dare to Fail!'
PS: Also if you have just joined us and would like to 'catch-up' on previous posts please hit the
'archive' buttons or this link will take you to the beginning of this series http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.05.16_arch.html Monday May 17th 2010 )
11:55 am edt
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Life Skills' Part 20Welcome Back, I can't believe it is Wednesday all ready! I hope you
are having great week and getting a lot accomplished professionally and personally. As many of you know we have been exploring 'Characteristics
of Success' and over the last seven weeks have been embarking on a series we have entitled: 'Life Skills'. We began this series on Friday, May 14th, and established
that although the last 21 months or so have been very difficult for most businesses, a positive trend has emerged. This trend seems to be that more and more companies are making their 'Training
& Development' focus: 'Work/Home Life Balance or Life Skills' type
training.
The first ten traits
or attributes we have explored in our previous posts were:
#1. 'Never Ever Stop Dreaming'
#2. 'Transparancy'
#3. 'Authenticity'
#4. 'Strength
of Character'
#5. 'Face your Fears'
#6. 'Honesty'
#7.
'Life Choices'
#8.
'Faith'
#9. 'Life Purpose'
#10. 'Facing Life Transistions'
The eleventh trait or
attribute I would like to explore is:
#11. Never, Ever Quit!
Over the years I have heard about the 'shortest graduation speach' ever given which was: "Never,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give in. Never give in. Never give in. Never give in." which was
attributed to Winston Churchill. Upon investigating the speech I learned that some of those words were contained
in his speech but were not the whole speech. It is quite fascinating and amazing to me how topics get distorted
over the years and 'legends' evolve.
Here is his 1941 speech in it's entirety, Prime Minister
Winston Churchill said:
"Almost a year has passed since I came down here at your Head Master's kind invitation in order to cheer
myself and cheer the hearts of a few of my friends by singing some of our own songs. The ten months that have passed have
seen very terrible catastrophic events in the world--ups and downs, misfortunes-- but can anyone sitting here this afternoon,
this October afternoon, not feel deeply thankful for what has happened in the time that has passed and for the very great
improvement in the position of our country and of our home? Why, when I was here last time we were quite alone,
desperately alone, and we had been so for five or six months. We were poorly armed. We are not so poorly armed today; but
then we were very poorly armed. We had the unmeasured menace of the enemy and their air attack still beating upon us, and
you yourselves had had experience of this attack; and I expect you are beginning to feel impatient that there has been this
long lull with nothing particular turning up!
But we must learn to be equally
good at what is short and sharp and what is long and tough. It is generally said that the British are often better at the
last. They do not expect to move from crisis to crisis; they do not always expect that each day will bring up some noble chance
of war; but when they very slowly make up their minds that the thing has to be done and the job put through and finished,
then, even if it takes months - if it takes years - they do it. Another lesson I think
we may take, just throwing our minds back to our meeting here ten months ago and now, is that appearances are often very deceptive,
and as Kipling well says, we must "...meet with Triumph and Disaster. And treat those two impostors just the same."
You cannot tell from appearances how things will go. Sometimes imagination
makes things out far worse than they are; yet without imagination not much can be done. Those people who are imaginative see
many more dangers than perhaps exist; certainly many more than will happen; but then they must also pray to be given that
extra courage to carry this far-reaching imagination.
But for everyone,
surely, what we have gone through in this period--I am addressing myself to the School--surely from this period of ten months,
this is the lesson: Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small,
large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently
overwhelming might of the enemy.
We stood all alone a year
ago, and to many countries it seemed that our account was closed, we were finished. All this tradition of ours, our songs,
our School history, this part of the history of this country, were gone and finished and liquidated. Very different is the
mood today. Britain, other nations thought, had drawn a sponge across her slate. But instead our country stood in the gap.
There was no flinching and no thought of giving in; and by what seemed almost a miracle to those outside these Islands, though
we ourselves never doubted it, we now find ourselves in a position where I say that we can be sure that we have only to persevere
to conquer. You sang here a verse of a School Song: you sang that extra
verse written in my honor, which I was very greatly complimented by and which you have repeated today. But there is one word
in it I want to alter - I wanted to do so last year, but I did not venture to. It is the line: "Not less we praise in
darker days." I have obtained the Head Master's permission to alter darker to sterner. "Not
less we praise in sterner days."Do not let us speak of darker days: let us speak
rather of sterner days. These are not dark days; these are great days--the greatest days our country has ever lived; and we
must all thank God that we have been allowed, each of us according to our stations, to play a part in making these days memorable
in the history of our race."
One of the hardest traits or attributes
to 'embrace' sometimes is the trait of: 'Never, Ever Give Up'! I don't
know what challenges you are facing in your professional or personal life........I don't know what 'Life
Transistions' you are going through. But I do know this: If you will hang in there and fight with all
your heart and soul; you WILL make it through this time. It may be difficult....you may feel like quiting and turning back
1000 times.....but this is the time to hang-in-there and keep pushing forward. You may occasionally have to 're-group' and
come up for breath.....you'll have to.......but after you do, put your hand back to the grindstone and keep trying.
I am often amazed at how many stories I read about successful people who faced and overcame what we would term insurmountable
odds to achieve what they achieved. So many times all we see is their SUCCESS.....we don't see the disappointment, heartbreak
and repeated failures that they had to overcome before they broke the door down to SUCCESS!
As I said earlier:
I don't know what personal or professional challenges you are facing, however I know you can work through these times....I
know it! Why not 'CHOOSE' to have some 'Faith', re-group and then take some
action today.....you'll be glad you did! The beauty of success and achievement; what makes us appreciate it, is
the 'price' we had to pay to get there! As we have said throughout these posts: It is not about the 'Destination it is about
the RIDE, the JOURNEY'. I'll leave you with three quotes that illustrate to me our trait for today:
There is no failure except in no longer trying. - Elbert Hubbard When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.- Franklin D. Roosevelt
When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems
as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will
turn.- Harriet Beecher Stowe Why not CHOOSE today and for the rest of your life to: 'Never, Ever Give Up'! You'll be so glad you didn't
QUIT and kept pushing forward......you just will! I'll see you again on Friday and as always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream
Big and Dare to Fail!'
(Again I would love to hear what 'characteristics/skills/traits' you believe should be incorporated
into the 'Life Skills' series. What do YOU think
are key 'Life Skills' necessary to not only 'survive but thrive'
in today's personal and professional world? Whether you have one idea or a whole list please hit the comment button underneath
this post or email me your thoughts. Holland@HollandMeads.com Also if you have just joined us and would
like to 'catch-up' on previous posts please hit the 'archive' buttons or this link will take you to the beginning of this
series http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.05.16_arch.html Monday May 17th 2010 )
8:13 am edt
Monday, June 28, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Life Skills' Part 19Welcome Back! I hope you have had a nice weekend and your
work week is off to a great start! We are continuing to explore 'Characteristics of Success' and over
the last seven weeks have been embarking on a series we have entitled: 'Life
Skills'. We began this series on Friday, May 14th, and established that although the last
21 months or so have been very difficult for most businesses, a positive
trend has emerged. This trend seems to be that more and more companies are making their 'Training &
Development' focus: 'Work/Home Life Balance or Life Skills' type
training.
The first ten traits
or attributes we have explored in our previous posts were:
#1. 'Never Ever Stop Dreaming'
#2. 'Transparancy'
#3. 'Authenticity'
#4. 'Strength
of Character'
#5. 'Face your Fears'
#6. 'Honesty'
#7.
'Life Choices'
#8. 'Faith'
#9. 'Life Purpose'
#10. 'Facing Life Transistions'
On
Friday we introduced the trait/attribute of 'Facing Life Transistions'
and I began by sharing this quote from Alexander Graham Bell:
'When one door
closes another one opens........ But we look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the one that
has opened for us!'
We established that all of us continually 'Face
Life Transitions' and we shared the following examples to give us some common
ground: * Going
to school * Graduating from high school * Going to college * Getting a full-time job and entering
the working world * Getting married * Getting divorced * Having children * Children moving away * A loved-one dying * Caring for a sick family member * Losing your job * Children getting married
We concluded Friday's post with the following 'homework' questions:
#1.
Have you ever struggled with 'Facing a Transition' in your life? Be honest....Did you? Why, List
all the reasons you can think of looking back at why you struggled so mightily with this change/transition?
#2. Are you
currently struggling 'Facing a Transition' in your life? Again, Please be honest....Why,
Try and list ALL the reasons you may be struggling?
I hope you did the homework and
were honest in your answers and assessment. Today I would like to continue our exploration of this topic by sharing five things
we can do help ourselves move through and 'Face the Transitions' in
our life.
#1. Give it TIME! When any of us are
working through a change in our personal or professional life we need to realize that sometimes these transitions take
time. We just can't flip some 'on-off' switch and somehow be OK with everything. The challenge for all of us is 'how
much' time do we need. That my friends is the 'million dollar' question and the answer is there isn't a certain amount.
There will be times in our lives where we will face a transition and for whatever reason seem to be able to adjust very quickly
and 'move-on', other times the process seems to drag on endlessly with no hope in sight.
There isn't a right
or wrong time and this my friends is a very individual and personal process. Many times when we find ourselves facing a transition
we try and 'force' ourselves through it or others try and 'help' us by saying 'let go of the past....move-on'....The challenge
is depending on the situation the 'time needed' may vary greatly and this is a very personal and individual process. Unfortunately
only YOU can know when/if you are ready to move through this time.
You have to wrestle with giving yourself
the needed time and not continuing to 'wallow' when you should be moving onward. You have to be careful and know personally when
your behavior is helping and when it is self-destructive and not beneficial for you. You have to balance the need to
work through this in your time but also realize when are you dragging your feet because you're afraid to do step number
two which is:
#2. Face your FEARS! Many times the reason we 'wallow', refuse to work through a
transition or think we can't is because of an underlying challenge.......we are AFRAID! There may be a myriad of things we
are 'afraid' of, some are 'imaginary' and some are 'real' and will need addressed and faced. When we face the
end of a 'job' that we have been doing for a while or the end of a 'relationship' with someone it is common to feel
a large amount of fears bubbling up inside of you, whether the choice to end this and move-on was instigated by
you or not.
There are plenty of fears out there to be faced: Will I find another job? How will I pay the bills?
Will I be qualified for the new position? How do I up-date my resume? I thought I was in 'Love'? How will I find someone else?
How will I KNOW if it is 'the right' person this time? What will other people say about my situation?.....and the list of
fears/concerns can go on and on and on........
The challenge we all face in these times is mustering up the internal
courage to face our 'own' fears and also face what might be the 'reaction' of others around our decision. The challenge many
times is everyone else seems to like to tell us how to run our life......everyone else has an 'opinion' of what is right for
us. I know many people share their thoughts from a good motive but the bottom line is....it is not their life.....it is YOURS.
I can remember needing to make a decision in my life once that I knew others wouldn't appreciate or 'approve'.
I was 'wallowing' in my decision because I knew several key people in my life wouldn't approve and they outwardly shared
their disapproval, thoughts and opinions. For the longest time I procrastinated and used the 'time' excuse above (Step
#1) when I knew what I needed to do. I don't know where this thought came from and it may sound 'weird' but I remember thinking:
What if these people died tomorrow......What decision would I make today? When I asked myself that question; the answer became
crystal clear.
I don't know why but when I put it in that perspective I was able to 'face my fears'. Suddenly
I wasn't willing to keep living only to please them, when it went against my 'heart-of-hearts'. Suddenly a calm peace came
over me, I faced my fears and made the decision I needed to make, the one that was 'right' for me. Now I will say the
people involved were mad and disappointed for a while, but once some time went by they too realized I made the best decision
for me. What was funny was how much time I procrastinated making the decision because of the 'fear' of them and their reaction
and when I finally made the choice I was glad I did! Why not 'FACE' your fears now and follow your heart!
#3. Have Faith that there is a bigger LIFE purpose for you to learn. Folks I know that all of us struggle
at times getting our head around life challenges we face especially when the challenge was something we would never, ever
choose. Everytime I see an injustice on the news, a child hurt, someone dying at an early age, a natural disaster that
changes lives forever I must admit I can't get my logical or emotional head around those types of things.
This is where I have to do my best to embrace trait number 8 above: Have Faith! I have to bring myself
back to my 'Faith in God' and that I may not understand something at all but that is OK. I have to Trust
that God is the potter and I'm the clay and that there is something I need to learn through this time, a deeper life lesson
if you will.
Now folks I'm not saying this is easy to do and I'm not saying I don't 'kick-against-the-pricks' sometimes.....yes
I do. I argue with God, get frustrated with him but ultimately come around to the thought that there is some learning
for me somewhere in this time. Sometimes it takes moths or even years to see the lesson and the learning but when I am able
I can come to grips with this situations implications in my life journey it is well woth it.
#4. Focus
on the FUTURE! When we go through a transition one of the reasons we all seem to get so stuck is we refuse to let
go of the past. I realize there is security in what we know and are used to having in our lives. Even if what is in our lives
isn't the best for us there is still 'security' in the situation. One of the reasons we struggle so mightily is that we seem
to 'wallow' or spend a large amount of time 'glorifying' the past. We 'glorify' the past because many times we are 'scared'
of what the future may hold or we are scared because we don't have any idea what the future holds.
Then we
go into the 'excuse' mode.....what if I make the same choice/mistake again.....when we start down this road we are embellishing
the past so we don't have to take responsibility for the future. If we want to move forward in life we have to be able to
create a 'picture' of what we want our future to be and look like. By creating that mental image we are drawn forward. This
mental image give us the abiliy to 'celebrate' or at least 'appreciate' the past and what we have learned through these times
but also gives us the power and forward momentum to embrace our future.
My friends, you can't move away from anything......you
have to move towards something. You can't move away from a bad job, bad relationship, a bad situation.....if you try to do
that you're running away and when you're running away the only way you know you're making 'progress' is by continually 'looking
backwards'. Instead of looking backwards every few steps focus on the 'future', on what you want......that way your eyes and
heart are embracing and looking towards the future, you're moving forward and not running from something in the past.
I know for some of you, you may say what is the difference? There is a huge difference mentally, physically, emotionally
and psychologically.....there is! From now on why not create a picture of the future you desire......even if you don't know
exactly what that is right now....focus your mind and activities on what you want to see....what you want to create. Focus
on the Future!
#5. Take ACTION! Once you have done or are trying to do the first four steps you
have to combine them with 'action'. The only thing that will move you toward your future state is action. Take some steps
and move forward.....it is the ONLY way you can move and 'transition' yourself to where you want to be!
I
hope these thoughts/steps will help you not only survive
the transition/change but to come out on the other side a different, deeper, better person.......Continue to remember, life
is not a race....you don't win......it is a journey.....YOU BECOME and I feel that if you embrace and practice these five
steps you will be amazed at your progress and your ability to get 'unstuck' when you are in 'Transition'!
As I have shared in previous posts and which I feel applies here as well, one of the keys to being able
to 'Face a Transition'
is just being willing to be quiet and honestly wrestle with the above steps/ideas. Why not take some time over the next several
days and think about these thoughts and any 'transition' you are currently facing. Again, there is power in contemplating
these steps and writing your thoughts/answers down. Remember when you can see the answers visually written down
you are more apt to take the 'fifth step' above.....ACTION!
Why not take some action today.....you'll be glad you
did! The ride and journey is so worth it....it just is! I'll see you again on Wednesday and as always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
(Again I would love to hear what 'characteristics/skills/traits'
you believe should be incorporated into the 'Life Skills' series. What
do YOU think are key 'Life Skills' necessary to not only 'survive
but thrive' in today's personal and professional world? Whether you have one idea or a whole list please hit the comment
button underneath this post or email me your thoughts. Holland@HollandMeads.com Also if you have just joined us and would
like to 'catch-up' on previous posts please hit the 'archive' buttons or this link will take you to the beginning of this
series http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.05.16_arch.html Monday May 17th 2010 )
12:28 pm edt
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