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Friday, May 14, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Life Skills' Part 1Welcome back, or if this is your first time visiting my blog welcome
to you also! I hope you'll come back often as we continue to explore what I have titled 'Characteristics of Success'.
We just finished a series on 'Managing Stress' that we began on Monday, April
19th and now I would like to start a new series I'm entitling 'Life Skills'.
(If you are interested in reviewing the 'Managing Stress' thoughts you can click on the following link and
it will take you into the archive section; then just scroll down the page to begin. Here is the link:
http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.04.18_arch.html )
In my line of work I get to see and interact with all types of companies working in all
types of different business lines. Especially over the last several years with the economic challenges that have faced most
businesses, I have seen several different trends emerge. Besides the obvious of lay-offs, down-sizing and the remaining
workforce having to do more with less another very positive trend has emerged. I don't really know what is driving the trend
whether it is Management, Employees or a combination of the two but as we have emerged from a couple tough years there seems
to be a tremendous interest in what I would call: 'Work-Home Life Balance or Life Skills'
type training. I have had many clients who now want to make sure the training we conduct can be applied to home
and work.
It seems that companies are starting to realize that people who work for them have lives outside of
the office or plant. It seems that companies have finally started to understand the utter stupidity and falsehood of this old
adage: 'If you have problems at home......leave them at home....If you have problems at work......leave
them at work.' Who ever came up with that statement in the first place? I understand what that statement is 'trying,
rather weakly' to say and imply but the absolute absurdity of it is laughable.
If you have the worst day of your
life at work......chances are it affects you to some degree and for some amount of time when you get home. And the opposite
holds true: If you have the worst day of your life at home......you have marital problems or kids that are facing severe life
challenges you can't just 'forget' that and go to work......it is always in the back of your mind. Again folks, I understand
what the statement is trying to help us to do......but it forgets to realize that we are one whole human being......not some
robotic segmented mechanism that can simply turn a particular work or home switch off and on and then 'never the twain' shall
meet. We are too complex for that type of simplistic approach to life.
With the above premise established it seems
that many of my clients are trying to take a more 'wholelistic' approach to the training and development of their people.
I have been working with a client, Westfield (www.Westfield.com) for many years who are LA based in the states. I have been teaching/facilitating four, three-day seminars
a year for their managers and staff. Here is an excerpt from an email I received this week from a participant who was in my
class in LA last week.
'Thank you for the memorable experience that I had attending
your seminar. This experience shall stay with me for the rest of my life. I will take these lessons that I have learned and
apply them to not only my career but in life as well!'
This week I spoke at a conference for another
long-standing client, Kinney Drugs (www.KinneyDrugs.com) When I was working with the Vice President of Human Resources around the curriculum idea for my three segments there was
one common theme he wanted in all the sections. He said: 'We care about our people both professionally
and personally. I want these three topics to have application to both their work and personal life. I want them to have practical
ideas they can also use at work and in their daily life outside of work.'
I am also currently
working with this same company putting together a series of monthly training programs for their staff that
the Vice President said he wants to have a broad application: "We want our people to learn
and have 'Life Skills' that will benefit them at home as well as work." At the end of the Kinney
Conference this week I had one of the VP's come up to me to thank me for my part and then he said: "We
all need to realize that 'Life-Long Learning' is a process NOT a destination!"
Well said my friend....well said!
The above two examples show me that progressive thinking companies
have thrown away that 'old adage' quoted above and are looking at helping their people learn skills that have application
in all parts of life. With the above thoughts in mind I will begin exploring the first trait in this series on Monday.
However; I also want to ask you a favor: I have outlined a series of 'characteristics/skills/traits' that
I believe need to be incorporated into the 'Life Skills' series
but I would like to ask for your input: What do YOU think are key 'Life
Skills' necessary to not only 'survive but thrive' in today's personal and
professional world. I would like you to come up with a list or some suggested topics/thoughts and email them to me or hit
the comment button underneath this post and send me your ideas. What I would then like to do is mix and match my thoughts/ideas
with the ones you suggest and together we'll create this series. (Holland@HollandMeads.com)
On Monday I will begin by sharing the first trait in the series. Again, please give this topic some
thought and let me know your ideas and suggestions; I look forward to your responses! Have a great weekend and as always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
11:08 am edt
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Managing Stress' - ConclusionWelcome Back! Today, I would like to take a few moments and try and
bring some concluding thoughts to our discussion of 'How to Manage Stress'!
I hope you have enjoyed reading, thinking and hopefully learning from what we've discussed. In the previous ten posts
we shared the following:
#1. The 'potential stressors'
we may be currently facing in our lives.
#2. We examined three different types of stress: 'Acute Stress, Episodic Acute Stress and Chronic Stress'.
#3. We looked at some 'not-so-healthy' ways we might be currently
dealing with our stress.
#4. We explored some tips/techniques we could employ to 'Elude
or Escape the Stressor' in our personal
and professional lives.
#5. We continued our exploration of tips/techniques to manage stress by discussing ways to 'Adjust or Change the Stressor'.
#6. We began exploring the 'Change
your Reaction' aspect of the model and focused on the 'Accomodate,
Conform or Reconcile' portion.
#7. We continued our exploration of the 'Change
your Reaction' aspect of the model and focused on the 'Concede or Acknowledge'
portion.
#8. We explored: How we can 'help ourselves' manage
our stress by learning/choosing to make time for 'fun and relaxation'
in our own lives.
#9. We continued looking at another seemingly 'neglected' area of our lives when we experience stress; the area
of our 'Physical Health'.
#10.We spent time exploring 'Healthy Ways to Relax and Recharge' our batteries.
I shared one last homework
assignment on Monday challenging you to think about what you could do for yourself to 'Relax and Recharge' yourself. I continue to believe that taking care of yourself
and taking time for yourself is such a critical component in helping all of us manage our stress.I hope you did
something just for you! 
As we close our discussion on 'How to Manage Stress'
I wanted to leave us with several thoughts. I realize that when we are facing a lot of personal or professional stress
we feel like we're drowning. When we feel like all we can do is survive and we struggle to keep our head above water
it is easy to get thoroughly discouraged. When our 'focus' is 'surviving the storm', many times we have the tendency
to forget about taking care of ourselves and/or getting the appropriate help we need. I want to take a moment and 're-fresh'
our minds to the 'types of stress' and the appropriate 'treatment options' for the three types of stress:
* Acute
Stress can crop up in anyone's life, and it is highly treatable and manageable.
* Treating Episodic Acute Stress requires intervention on a number of levels,
generally requiring professional help, which may take many months.
* Chronic Stress kills through
suicide, violence, heart attack, stroke, and perhaps, even cancer. People wear down to a final, fatal breakdown. Because physical
and mental resources are depleted through long-term attrition, the symptoms of chronic stress are difficult to treat and may
require extended medical as well as behavioral treatment and stress management!
We have explored many
ideas, tips and techniques for dealing with the 'stressors' in our lives. We also established that understanding our
'stressors', peeling back the hidden layers of our personal and professional lives to see where we are off
track is difficult. Learning and CHOOSING to take responsibility for ourselves, to make 'tough' choices and take
back the control of our life/choices is one of the hardest but most rewarding things we can do. Please also realize and
NEVER EVER be ashamed to seek the appropriate help you need to face life's stressors.. Asking a friend for help
or an ear or seeking out a trained professional is never a bad choice. If you're drowning and don't feel like you can keep
your head above water please don't let your 'pride' keep you from getting help. We all face stress in life and depending on
the situation......... we all need help sometimes.......that is OK and Please know you'll feel better for asking.....please
get whatever help you need to cope with what you're facing.....please!
I would like to conclude with this
thought: Honest self-assessment
of the choices we make and CHOOSING to take the appropriate ACTION that will enable us to feel calm and cope
with the day's stressors WILL make a difference.....it just WILL! Remember, taking action will not only benefit
YOU, everyone you interact with will benefit.
Have a great rest of the week and I
hope you have enjoyed and learned not only about the stressors in our lives but also got some ideas of how to effectively
deal with them. I'll see you on Friday as we tackle a new topic in our continuing journey investigating 'Characteristics
of Success'! As always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
(If you are new to my 'blog' and have just joined us.....Welcome!
You have joined us as at the end of exploring the topic of Managing Stress. If you would like to 'catch-up' and connect
all the concepts I would suggest that you go into the 'archive' section and read the previous posts. The first
post on 'Managing Stress' was on Monday, April 19, 2010: This link should take you to that post: http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.04.18_arch.html )
8:40 am edt Comments
10:51 am edt
Monday, May 10, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Managing Stress' - Part 10Welcome back on this, the second Monday in May. I would like to continue
our discussion of 'Characteristics of Success', by sharing a few more thoughts on 'How
to Manage Stress'! I hope you had a great weekend and are looking forward a great week ahead; so far
in our first nine posts we have discussed the following:
#1. The 'potential
stressors' we may be currently facing in our lives.
#2. We examined three different types
of stress: 'Acute Stress,
Episodic Acute Stress and Chronic Stress'.
#3. We looked at some 'not-so-healthy'
ways we might be currently dealing with our stress.
#4. We explored some tips/techniques we could employ to 'Elude or Escape the Stressor' in
our personal and professional lives.
#5. We continued our exploration of tips/techniques to manage stress by discussing
ways to 'Adjust or Change the Stressor'.
#6. We began exploring
the 'Change your Reaction' aspect of the model and focused on the 'Accomodate, Conform or Reconcile' portion.
#7. We continued our exploration
of the 'Change your Reaction' aspect of the model and focused
on the 'Concede or Acknowledge' portion.
#8. We explored: How we can 'help ourselves' manage our stress by learning/choosing
to make time for 'fun and relaxation' in our own lives.
#9.
We continued looking at another seemingly 'neglected' area of our lives when we experience stress; the area
of our 'Physical Health'.
On Friday I shared
some tips on how we can learn to take care of ourselves by taking time for our 'Physical
Health and Well-Being'. I gave you some homework questions to think about over
the weekend and really hope you took the time answer the questions and also implement some of the ideas/tips into
your life. I really believe that taking care of yourself and taking time for yourself is such a critical component in helping
all of us manage our stress.
As we start to close our discussion on 'How
to Manage Stress' I wanted to share some additional thoughts/suggestions that we can implement which
I feel will continue to help us manage our stress level. As we have established earlier, when we are facing a lot
of personal or professional stress we many times can barely keep our head above water. When this occurs we seem to 'focus'
on 'surviving the storm' and many times have a tendency to forget about taking care of ourselves. In the last several
posts we have focused on ourselves and what we can do for US! Today I would like to continue our discussion of
what we can do for us by simply sharing some 'Healthy Ways to Relax and Recharge'
our batteries:
* Learn to take some time to focus on your breathing: Breathe
deeply from your diaphragm for 60 seconds and notice the result.
* Go for a walk!
* Play with your pet!
* Spend
time outside in Nature.
* Call or visit with a good friend
.* Workout, a good sweat helps reduce our tension.
* Focus on keeping your perspective......is it REALLY going to matter a year from now?
* Get a massage!
* Take
a long hot bath or jump in the hot tub.
* Have a nice warm cup of tea or coffee.......sip it and just savor the moment.
* Do some yard-work or work in your garden.
* Listen to your favorite music.
* Spend time near the water; go to
your favorite lake or river and just listen to the water and all the sounds of nature.
* Write your thoughts down in
a journal. There is something magically therapeutic about writing what we are experiencing.
* Watch your favorite comedic
movie or TV show and just laugh.
* Curl up with your favorite book and let the author whisk you away.
* Pray and
just spend time reflecting on what you're experiencing.
* Spend time 'seeing or visualizing' yourself being successful,
coming out on the other side a better person.
* Light some scented candles and just sit and enjoy the smells and light.
One of the wonderful things about the above list is that choosing one of these items and doing
them will greatly help us deal and cope with the stresses of life. What is also wonderful is combining several of these items
and then watch the magic happen, watch your stress melt away and you'll see and feel yourself gaining the perspective you
need.
As many of you know; I have two large black Labs, 'Moses and Hunter' and they are a hoot. One
of them, Moses also seems to have a unique sense of his Dad and his Dad's stress level. I can be sitting at the house
working or thinking about something that is bothering me and 'Moses' will get up and come over and lay his big heavy head
on my arm or lap. He will keep his head there pressed down against my arm or leg and then look up at me with his big brown
eyes. He looks at me and seems to almost sense the 'pressure' I feel........his eyes convey.....Dad.....it will be all right!
When I sense the pressure of life mounting I make a habit of combining several of these activities listed
above and the result is always wonderful. I take Moses and Hunter to what we call the 'Bog Trail' and we go for a walk. I
can let them off their leashes and they can just rip. Moses just trots, sniffs and pees every few steps while Hunter runs
wild and chases everything in sight. Hunter still hasn't grasped that ducks and geese can fly and he chases them relentlessly.
I throw sticks for them to fetch and enjoy watching them swim in every pond or creek we pass on the way. After about
a mile and a half on the trail there is a large open 'bog' area. I normally walk to there and then will sit on the bank
while the dogs play. I will listen to nature, think, pray and just try and appreciate the beauty and serenity of nature
and 'my spot'.
After I have sat there for twenty to thirty minutes we will walk back to the truck. On the way back
the dogs will continue to chase everything that moves and will 'rough-house' with one another. The shear joy of watching my
Labs do what they were bred to do is just wonderful and amazing to watch. They have so much fun and will literally wear themselves
out chasing things and swimming during these walks. What is most amazing is that no matter how 'worked-up' I was before
our walk; afterward I always feel better. I feel a 'calmness' about me and I feel I have a much more realistic 'life perspective'.
I feel like I know things will work out and be OK.........I just know it.
I guess I want to leave
you with this challenge today, regarding the 'stressors' in your life. Thinking of the items discussed above, which one or several could YOU
CHOOSE to employ immediately to help lessen the 'Stress of your Situation'? (Once again please take personal
responsibility and choose to take care of yourself. Please don't make excuses as to why the above-thoughts won't
work; instead force yourself to do several of these or come up with additional items not listed that will work for you. Remember
we need to not focus on the 'stressors but force ourselves to 'Look for Solutions'!!!!!!!!!)
Learning and CHOOSING to take responsibility
for ourselves and control of our life choices is one of the hardest but most rewarding things we can do. Remember, to
'Manage our Stress' we need to take a hard look at ourselves, peel back some of those hidden layers,
see where we are off track and then make the needed corrections.
Again be honest in your self-assessment and then CHOOSE to take some ACTION.........it WILL make a difference.....it
just WILL! Remember, taking action can only help reduce your stress; and when your stress is reduced, it will benefit
YOU and it will also benefit those around YOU! Have a great week and I'll
see you on Wednesday with my concluding thoughts on 'Managing Stress'. As
always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream
Big and Dare to Fail!'
(If you are new to my 'blog' and have just joined us.....Welcome! You have joined us as we are exploring
the topic of Managing Stress. If you would like to 'catch-up' and connect all the concepts I would suggest
that you go into the 'archive' section and read the previous posts. The first post on 'Managing Stress' was on
Monday, April 19, 2010: This link should take you to that post: http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.04.18_arch.html )
8:40 am edt
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