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Friday, May 7, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Managing Stress' - Part 9Welcome back to our on-going discussion of 'Characteristics of
Success', where we have been exploring 'How to Manage Stress'!
I hope you had a great week and are looking forward to your weekend. So far in our first eight posts we have discussed:
#1. The 'potential stressors' we may be currently
facing in our lives.
#2. We examined three different types of stress: 'Acute Stress, Episodic Acute Stress and Chronic Stress'.
#3. We looked at some
'not-so-healthy' ways we might be currently dealing with our stress.
#4. We explored some tips/techniques we could employ to 'Elude or Escape the
Stressor' in our personal and professional
lives.
#5. We continued our exploration of tips/techniques to manage stress by discussing ways to 'Adjust or Change the Stressor'.
#6. We began exploring the 'Change
your Reaction' aspect of the model and focused on the 'Accomodate,
Conform or Reconcile' portion.
#7. We continued our exploration of the 'Change
your Reaction' aspect of the model and focused on the 'Concede or Acknowledge'
portion.
#8. How we can 'help ourselves' manage our stress
by learning/choosing to make time for 'fun and relaxation'
in our own lives.
In Wednesday's post we shared some tips on how we can learn to take care of ourselves by
taking the time to have some 'fun and relax'. I gave
you some homework questions to think about based on the thoughts that were presented. I hope you
took the time to do the homework and more importantly; that you implemented some of the techniques into your life. I
really believe that taking care of yourself and taking time for yourself is such a critical component in helping all
of us manage our stress.
As we established in the last post, when we are under a lot of stress it seems
we use all our energy trying to keep our head above water. In doing that and making that 'our focus' we seem to have the
tendency to forget about ourselves. It seems we get so caught up in the stress and situations that we just get busy 'doing
things', trying to get things/items off our plate, thinking that will alleviate the 'stressor'. While it is true we need to
be 'focused' and attack the 'Vital few' we seem to forget to put a 'VALUE' on the most critical area....ourselves.
That is why in the last post we started focusing on ourselves and what we can do for us. Today I would like to continue
our discussion of what we can do for us by exploring other ways we can help ourselves manage our stress load.
Another seemingly 'neglected' area of our lives when we are experiencing a great amount of stress is the area
of our physical health. Choosing to adopt a 'healthy physical lifestyle' will enable us to increase our
resistance to stress! Let's explore some ideas of how to do this together:
- We need to choose
to carve out time for 'Regular Exercise'. Now I realize the moment I say
this I can hear the resounding ughh coming back across the Internet.....I can. The reason I can hear it is because what I'm
suggesting is something we ALL READY KNOW! Let's face it, we ALL do know that getting some type of aerobic exercise helps
reduce stress.......we know it! Yet it seems that carving our 30 minutes of exercise three or four times a week is the last
thing we choose to do......even though we KNOW it will help us. We are too busy to exercise....blah...blah...blah! Why not
make a pact with yourself or a friend that you're going to make 30 minutes of exercise three times a week as important as
all the other things in your life. Go to the gym, take a walk, swim, ride a bike, take an aerobic class, hike, dance;
just have some fun and be active. We all know that nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.
Physical activity plays such a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. I have been out in California on
business all week and after my program ended yesterday I took a thirty minute walk down to the ocean. I stood there for a
while, watched the sun setting over the Pacific and listened to the crashing of the waves.......I can't explain the joy and
calming affect that this small amount of 'exercise' had on me.....Ahhhhhh! Why not do something 'physical' for yourself today........
- You knew exercise was going to be on the list, so you also knew this would be there too; we have to do our
best to, 'Eat a Healthy Diet'! One of the biggest challenges beside exercising
when we are experiencing stress is eating properly. It seems we get so busy that we don't take the time to cook or eat healthy
meals and snacks. We skip meals, grab a quick 'junk' snack here and there and then come home and are probably too tired to
prepare a 'healthy' choice. What is interesting about this is we all know a well-nourished body is better prepared to cope
with stress, yet along with exercise, this area of our lives seems to get the least amount of attention. We need to realize
that eating healthy is not nearly as hard as we make it out to be. There are plenty of books and web-sites that offer great
suggestions on 'quick, easy, healthy' cooking and snack advice. Let's make another pact together that we will start to be
mindful of what we eat. Why not start today 'eating right' and taking care of the only body we have......again all it
will do is help you cope with the daily 'stress of life'!
- We also have to be very careful
to 'monitor or avoid consumption of alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs'. Once
again my friends we all know what 'self-defeating' behaviors and lifestyle choices we make when we are experiencing a lot
of stress. We KNOW when we are making poor choices, we KNOW what we do and we also KNOW it isn't good or healthy for us. Once
again; when we are drowning we look for anything that we feel will help us 'stay afloat'. The challenges with these types
of choices is we feel they are 'helping' us and yet we know they are just 'masking' the problem. We KNOW that when we get
finished with this activity...the stress and the pressures of life will stil be there......we just put them off for a few
moments. We realize that using alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but we also know that the
relief is a temporary solution at best. We have to stop avoiding or trying to mask our challenges and problems and learn/choose
to deal with the 'stressors/problems', head on and with a clear mind.
- Last but not least,
we have to make sure we are 'getting the proper amount of rest/sleep'! Again
can we be honest; when we are facing large amounts of stress one of the areas that is directly affected is the amount of good
quality sleep we get. We toss and turn, we wake up often or have trouble getting to sleep. It seems our minds won't shut
down and not only will they not shut down but they seem to come alive at night, when all we want is some peace and calm. We
all know that getting an adequate amount of sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body yet knowing thatand being able
to shut our minds down at bed-time may be two different things. When we feel exhausted or tired our stress increases
and then our challenges are compounded because we start to think irrationally. The value of a good night's sleep
is unbelievable and we all KNOW it is. When we have a great night's sleep we wake up refreshed, re-charged and ready
to attack our day. So how do you do it; how do you ensure that you can get a good night's sleep. One way, or really three
ways are by incorporating the above three suggestions into your daily life choices. If we do those three things listed
above we will impact our sleep regimen. Again, with the power of the Internet you can research other effective tips/techniques
that will help you shut down your mind and the thoughts of today and tomorrow and help you sleep more soundly. Why not try
and see how the above tips will impact your sleep/rest or look for some other methods that will help you.......your body and
mind will appreciate it!
Once again I would like to bring our discussion to a close by continuing our
homework 'method'. Thinking of the current 'Stressors in Your Life' please answer the following question:
#1. Looking at your list
of 'Stressors' 'How can I learn (CHOOSE) to take care of myself?'
Once again, please look at the items discussed above and ask yourself: Which one or several of these 'Methods' could
you employ to help lessen the 'Stress of your Situation'? (Once again please take personal
responsibility and choose to take care of yourself. Please don't make excuses as to why the above-thoughts won't
work; instead force yourself to 'Look for Solutions'!!!!!!!!!)
Taking responsibility for ourselves
and control of our life choices is one of the hardest things we can do. However, it is also so very important and tremendously
rewarding if we'll do it. Remember, if we want to learn to 'Manage our Stress' we need to
take a hard look at ourselves, peel back some of those hidden layers, see where we are off track and then make the needed
corrections.
Over the weekend; why not 'CHOOSE' to face some of your challenges and personal shortcomings by taking
care of yourself. You deserve it and it really is one of the keys to being 'Managing Stress' As I have said before, I
know this can be tough, uncomfortable and painful to do but I also know the effort is worth the effort.
Being more effective dealing with the Stressors in life helps us face life and also helps us be available to help others personally
and professionally.
Again be honest in your self-assessment and then CHOOSE to take some action for YOU.......it won't hurt.....it
will only benefit YOU and those around you. Have a great weekend and I'll see
you on Monday with more some more thoughts on 'Managing Stress'. As always,
thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream
Big and Dare to Fail!'
(If you are new to my 'blog' and have just joined us.....Welcome! You have joined us as we are exploring
the topic of Managing Stress. If you would like to 'catch-up' and connect all the concepts I would suggest
that you go into the 'archive' section and read the previous posts. The first post on 'Managing Stress' was on
Monday, April 19, 2010: This link should take you to that post: http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.04.18_arch.html )
9:30 am edt
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Managing Stress' - Part 8Welcome back to our on-going discussion of 'Characteristics of
Success', where we have been exploring 'How to Manage Stress'!
So far in our first seven posts we have discussed:
#1. The 'potential
stressors' we may be currently facing in our lives.
#2. We examined three different types
of stress: 'Acute Stress,
Episodic Acute Stress and Chronic Stress'.
#3. We looked at some 'not-so-healthy'
ways we might be currently dealing with our stress.
#4. We explored some tips/techniques we could employ to 'Elude or Escape the Stressor' in
our personal and professional lives.
#5. We continued our exploration of tips/techniques to manage stress by discussing
ways to 'Adjust or Change the Stressor'.
#6. We began exploring
the 'Change your Reaction' aspect of the model and focused on the 'Accomodate, Conform or Reconcile' portion.
#7. We continued our exploration
of the 'Change your Reaction' aspect of the model and focused
on the 'Concede or Acknowledge' portion
As I mentioned above; in the last post we examined the 'Change YOUR Reaction' aspect of the equation
and discussed tips/techniques/methods to 'Concede or Acknowledge' the
stressor. I also gave you some homework questions to think about based on the tips/techniques that
were presented. I hope you took the time to do the homework and for those of you that did; thanks and congratulations
for being a 'learner'!
Now I want to venture away from the above model and start looking at other methods/tips/techniques
we can employ to deal more effectively with our stress. As we established in earlier posts one of the biggest hurdles
we face when we are going through stressful times is that we 'lose' perspective on the things that are truly 'Important or
Vital' in our lives. One of the areas we seem to forget to take care of or neglect is one of the things that matters
the most.......OURSELVES! Now when I say that I am not talking about not caring for others and being totally 'self-centered'.
The point I am trying to make is this: Unless we learn to take care of ourselves during stressful times we won't/can't be
any good to anyone else. If we, ourselves are drowning, the prospect of being a whole lot of help to others is greatly diminished
due to our inability to keep our head above water.
Somehow, taking care of ourselves has gotten
a bum rap over time. It seems we have perpetuated a myth that always being busy and getting caught up in the hustle
and bustle of life is some how the 'right' OR NOBLE THING TO DO PERSONALLY OR PROFESSIONALLY. When we embrace this myth
we have a tendency to down-play the importance of taking care of ourselves and our needs! I want to spend the rest of
our time together today doing one thing.....suggesting some ways to 'TAKE CARE OF US'. We all need to realize that taking
care of ourselves is not a luxury......IT IS A NECESSITY!!!!!!
With the above premise in mind I want to begin
to share some some other thoughts on how we can 'help ourselves'. Let's learn/choose to make time for 'fun
and relaxation' in our own lives. One of the things we need to realize is this: We can reduce the stress in our lives by learning to nurture ourselves and by carving out time for us, in
so doing we will also be better able to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come. Here
we go........
* Let's learn/choose to
'set aside relaxation time' for just us!. When was the last time you took
the time to just relax? I mean really relax?.......When was the last time you did something just for you? Whatever you enjoy,
make sure you carve out time to allow yourself to relax and not feel so rushed. When was the last time you got a full body
massage? Took a long hot bath with some relaxing music? Or even took a quick nap to 're-charge' your battery? It seems that
taking care of ourselves by relaxing and including some type of rest and/or relaxation in our daily schedule has taken
a back seat. Why isn't important to us?...Why? Please don't say you don't have time.....taking the time to care for ourselves
is a CHOICE period......deal with it! We need to find a way to NOT allow other obligations to encroach on us. Recharging
our batteries, our spirit, is just as important or more important than many other things we give ourselves too. Why not choose
to NOT feel or allow the guilt of others or our own 'percieved' guilt to influence us and do something for yourself today
that helps you truly relax, take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
* We have to reach out and 'connect with
others'. I think many times when we are experiencing a lot of stress we seem to somehow have this
paradigm that we should be able to handle this ourselves, that we don't need help. I think the underlying emotion/feeling
when this happens to us is that we somehow feel 'embarrassed' about our situation and our inability to handle our stress. When
we feel this way we have a tendency to hide or withdrawal from others. I think our pride/ego gets in the way and many
times we just 'dig-in' and try to go this challenge alone. Now I realize that there are times in life we have to face certain
things alone.
However, if we want to lessen our stress load we have to CHOOSE to carve out and spend time with people
in our lives who we know 'care for and love us' for us. We need to engage in conversations with positive friends/relatives
who will listen, be there, offer suggestions if needed or desired and by doing this we will strengthen ourselves and
enhance our life. Creating a s strong support system will help us weather the storm, it acts as a buffer for us from
the negative effects of stress. Why not pick up the phone or visit one of those people in your life today.....it could only
help lighten your burden.....go on.....just do it!
* Make sure you carve out the time (CHOOSE) to do something 'YOU ENJOY every
day'! Folks I don't care what that is....but take the time......refuse to feel guilty and CHOOSE to make
the time for leisure activities that truly bring you joy. For me it is being on the water in my boat. I can have the
most stressful day and then I'll launch my bass boat, cruise into a deserted cove, anchor and just sit there......I may read,
listen to some music, pray or just be quiet and listen to nature. When I take the time to do that ,it always helps to reduce
my stress and anxiety and the effort to do it is always out-weighed by the reward I recieve.
What do you
like to do? Read, play an instrument, dance, go for a walk, ride your bike, sit by a stream, knit, look up at the stars at
night. Whatever you like to do and whatever brings you peace and a calmness, carve out (CHOOSE) to take the time and
do it. I know it is hard and sometimes we do fight the 'guilt' of 'I should be doing other things......more productive things.'
Somehow we have been led to believe the lie.......what is more important than capturing a couple minutes for YOU......doing
what YOU love to do. Today I would like you to think about something you love to do, that brings you joy.......and then
take the time to do it.....you won't regret it.....you simply won't.
* In the midst of it all
we have to develop the ability to 'Laugh and keep OUR Sense of Humor'! Doctors
and researchers have proven over and over again that 'laughter truly is GOOD for the soul'. When was the last time you just
laughed about something. I have several really good friends in my life that when we get together or talk on the phone
one of the common trends of our time together is laughter. We tell stories of things that happened to us individually or when
we are together and we just LAUGH.....I mean full-bodied laughter where you end up crying because the event/story is so funny.
Again we need to find the time to do things that give us joy, make us laugh or smile and help us to relax. We
need to realize that the act of laughing helps our body fight stress and balance itself in a number of ways. Let's develop
the ability to just laugh at life sometimes, which by the way requires us to also laugh at ourselves for some of the
'dumb' things we do. Watch a comedy show, or a sit-com, read the comic pages of your local paper, anything that will make
you laugh. (One of the wonderful memories I have of my Dad was his laugh. He would religiously read
the 'funny' pages of the paper and would sometimes laugh to hard it would bring tears to his eyes. He would then walk around
the house bring the paper to all the rest of us to read the comic and share in his joy. Thanks for showing me the importance
of laugher Dad......I Miss You.....and Your Laugh.)
Once
again I would like to bring our discussion to a close by continuing our homework 'method'. Thinking back
to our first post where you listed some of the 'Stressors in Your Life' please
answer the following question:
#1. Looking at the things that cause you stress
I would like you to examine: 'How can I learn (CHOOSE) to have some
fun and just relax?' Looking at the items we discussed above, which one or several of these 'Methods' could
you employ to help lessen the 'Stress of your Situation'? (Once again please take personal
responsibility and choose to take care of yourself. Please don't make excuses as to why the above-thoughts won't
work; instead force yourself to 'Look for Solutions'!!!!!!!!!)
Thanks for visiting and reading today.
I appreciate you taking the time out of what I know is a busy day and reflecting on the thoughts/ideas presented. I hope some
of these ideas resonated and hit a chord with you. If it did, I hope it sparked some internal dialogues/questions
for you to think about.
We have concluded each post with this thought: Wrestling with the internal; 'why
we do what we do questions' is one of the hardest things any of us can do. However, it is also so very important and tremendously
rewarding if we'll do it. Remember, if we want to learn to 'Manage our Stress' we need to
take a hard look at ourselves, peel back some of those hidden layers, see where we are off track and then make the needed
corrections.
Why not over the next couple days 'CHOOSE' to face some of your challenges and personal shortcomings by taking
care of yourself. You deserve it and it really is one of the keys to being Authentic. Remember, 'Authenticity' as a person is
very difficult and requires us to be deeply intuitive, look into our gut and make some hard 'self-assessments'. As I
have said before, I know this can be tough, uncomfortable and painful to do but I also know the effort
is worth it because of WHO we become through the journey!
Again be honest in your self-assessment and please take some action for YOU. Have a great rest of the week and I'll see you on Friday with more 'tips/techniques' on 'Managing Stress'. As always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream Big
and Dare to Fail!'
(If
you are new to my 'blog' and have just joined us.....Welcome! You have joined us as we are exploring the topic of Managing
Stress. If you would like to 'catch-up' and connect all the concepts I would suggest that you go into
the 'archive' section and read the previous posts. The first post on 'Managing Stress' was on Monday, April
19, 2010: This link should take you to that post: http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.04.18_arch.html )
8:30 am edt
Monday, May 3, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Managing Stress' - Part 7Well, I hope you have had a great weekend and are looking forward to a wonderful
week. Welcome back to our on-going exploration of 'Characteristics of Success' where we are continuing to tackle
the topic of: 'Managing Stress'! So far in our first six
posts we have discussed:
#1. The 'potential stressors'
we may be currently facing in our lives.
#2. We examined three different types of stress: 'Acute Stress, Episodic Acute Stress and Chronic Stress'.
#3. We looked at some 'not-so-healthy' ways we might be currently
dealing with our stress.
#4. We explored some tips/techniques we could employ to 'Elude
or Escape the Stressor' in our personal
and professional lives.
#5. We continued our exploration of tips/techniques to manage stress by discussing ways to 'Adjust or Change the Stressor'.
#6. We began exploring the 'Change
your Reaction' aspect of the model and focused on the 'Accomodate,
Conform or Reconcile' portion.
The model we are referring to above was introduced in our fourth
post where we established that: Dealing with 'Stressful Situations' requires us to either: Change
the Situation or Change our Reaction! Change the situation:
Change your reaction;
* Elude
or Escape the Stressor
* Accommodate, Conform or Reconcile
* Adjust or Change the Stressor *
Concede or Acknowledge
In
the last post we examined the 'Change YOUR Reaction' aspect of the above-equation and discussed
tips/techniques/methods to 'Accomodate, Conform or Reconcile'. As
always I gave you a homework assignment on the thoughts/ideas that were presented. I hope you did
the homework and for those of you that did........CONGRATULATIONS and thanks you!
As we established early
on and re-introduced in the sixth post I realize there are times in our life that we can't change the situation....it
IS....what it IS....PERIOD. We can't prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness,
losing our job due to down-sizing or a national recession. In cases that we can't change, the best way to cope with stress
is to learn to accept these events the best we can. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier
than railing against a situation you can’t change.
When we are truly in a situation like this........in this
type of case we have to focus our energy on 'Changing our Reaction to the 'Stressor'.
Changing our reaction to the situation (the stressor) helps us cope, feel more calm and deal more effectively with
the situation. Focusing our energy on adapting to the situation by changing our expectations and our attitudes enables
us to NOT let the stressor get the best of us. Let's face it, if we can’t change the stressor, let's focus
on changing ourselves. Now I would like to look at the 'Conceed or Acknowledge'
portion of this model by exploring some methods/tips that will help us achieve this:
*
We need to stop trying to 'CONTROL the UNCONTROLABLE'! Can we be honest here; lots of things in our lives are beyond our control;
death, illnesses, catastrophes, economic downturns, someone quitting unexpectedly at work, traffic, other people and how
they behave or react. What GOOD does it do any of us to stress out over any of these.......tell me....what good? Does getting
mad, angry or stressed-out really 'change' the situation......does it? We all know the answer, yet how much of our
time is spent being wasted in this arena. Why don't WE CHOOSE......and yes it IS A CHOICE to not stress out about it but CHOOSE
to Adapt......Why don't we CHOOSE to focus on the things we can control such as OUR REACTION!
* We need to look for the 'SILVER LINING'! We
alluded to this thought in our last post but I think it needs repeating; when we under extreme amounts of stress: 'We
can't SEE the forest for the TREES!' How many times do we find ourselves in a situation where we are fighting so
hard against something that is out-of-our-control that we literally can't seem to move through it. Not only can we NOT
see the forest for the trees, we also can't see any 'Silver Lining' to this situation at all! Many of us feel at this
moment there isn't or there can't be a 'Silver Lining'.....no not for this situation. I do realize that in the middle of a
'traumatic' event it is very hard to pause and see the 'bright side' and sometimes even when we try to see the 'silver lining'
we come away empty.....I know and understand.....I do!
However, somehow in the midst of the chaos and trauma
we have to try and muster the energy and focus inward. We have to look at what we're facing as an opportunity for 'personal'
growth. I know this is easier said than done and it is hard to do when we feel like we're drowning. However we have to find
the ability to 'trust' that there is personal growth that needs to take place and if we will stop fighting it and open our
eyes and heart to it......it will be there. Some of the best but toughest lessons we learn are when we are at the bottom and
struggling. I heard a great speaker once who was explaining about some of the challenges he has faced in his life and
he said this: 'I met God on the way to the Top.........I
got to KNOW God on my way back down!' (What a great and very true statement!)
I
think that captures it in the nutshell.......'What doesn’t kill us very often makes us stronger if we will take
the time to look inward and be open to 'life-lessons' Let's put on the hat that says: When we are facing major challenges,
we'll try our best to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. Realize this; sometimes our own poor choices
contributed or caused the stressful situation; if that is the case, then let's take the time to reflect and learn
from our mistakes.
We have to learn to 'Share
OUR feelings with OTHERS'! This suggestion I know draws an interesting reaction from my readers: Some
of you agree whole-heartedly with this statement and when faced with a 'stressful' time will seek out friends who are good
listeners or professional help if needed. Others of you are NOT as willing/able to share your feelings, are more private
and may not necessarily be open to public disclosure/sharing of your feelings. These folks get quiet, go inward and try
their best to shut down their feelings/emotions. The more amounts of stress they face the more they go inward and the
less they may share how they're feeling. They may get extremely task focused trying to keep busy enough to make the stress
go away.
I guess I would suggest this no matter whether you're very self-disclosing or not: If you are under a
lot of stress; please find someone whom you trust, that you can confide and share what you're going through and feeling.
Whether it is a friend or a professional, never be ashamed that you need help. Folks we all need help sometimes when we are
facing tough moments in life and sharing our thoughts/feelings can be helpful and cathartic. Talk to a trusted friend
or make an appointment with a professional therapist, either may be just the piece we need to help us meander more
effectively through this period and come out on the other side. (What have you got to lose.......other than you're load
of stress.....why not just try it.....it couldn't hurt and it may just be the help you need.)
We
also have to 'Learn to Forgive, and do our best to Forget'! One of the hardest
things to do many times is 'Forgive' someone else when we feel we have been wronged. We hold on to the event in an effort
to somehow make the other person 'pay' for the 'perceived' wrong or inequity. We often hold a 'grudge', many times
long after the other person has moved on with life. When we CHOOSE to respond this way and not forgive.....we hurt no-one
other than ourselves. The guilt, anger and subsequent bitterness we hold on to does nothing helpful for us at all. All
it does is cause US more internal stress which has many 'physical' side effects.
We somehow need to accept
the fact that we live in an 'imperfect' world with 'imperfect' people. We are all flawed and have enough of our own baggage
to carry around so why do we CHOOSE to carry around a 'holier' than thou burden too. I have found over the years that the
people who are most rigid in their judgement of others are often hiding their own insecurities and flaws. The reasons they
become so 'indignant and pious' is that they think by 'ACTING' that way they will somehow hide their own frailty and
failures. It is back to the 'bully' type mentality....if I spend my time pointing out everyone else's flaws.......no one will
ever see my flaws and then maybe I'll never have to deal with this FACT: I am flawed too. Let's
be honest......in someway we are all the same......beggars just trying to find our next meal!
Why not make
a personal commitment from here on out to try your best to let go of your anger, bitterness and resentment for what
someone 'did' to you. Let's change OUR FOCUS and focus on 'forgiving' them, then we can truly 'move-on with our life'.
Lack of forgiveness does nothing but stifle your personal growth and development. Forgiving others frees
us from the negative energy associated with holding a grudge. By forgiving and doing our best to forget, to CHOOSE
to let it go and move on with our life is tremendously frreing and personally liberating......on the contrary, holding onto
this type of feeling helps NO-ONE.....least of all YOU!
Once again I would like to bring our discussion to a close by continuing our homework 'method'. Thinking
back to our first post where you listed some of the 'Stressors in Your Life' please answer the following questions:
#1. Looking at the
things that cause you stress I would like you to examine: 'How can I Change
my Reaction to the Situation (the Stressor)?' Looking at the list above, which of these 'Methods' could you employ
to 'Conceed or Acknowledge' the 'Situation, the Stressor'? (Once
again please be honest, look at your 'stressors' and then look at each of the items listed above and continue doing your own 'self-assessment'!.....Please
don't make excuses as to why the above-thoughts won't work. Force yourself to take responsibility and
'CHOOSE' to 'Look for solutions'!!!!!!!!!)
#2. Again, looking at the suggestions above:
Why and which ideas/techniques/methods do we 'refuse or push-back' against implementing or trying? (As I stated
above: Be as truthful as you can remembering, you're not fooling anyone including yourself. Please just do your
best to be honest and candid.....that is what 'Authentic' people do!)
Once again I hope our discussion has
sparked some internal dialogues/questions for you to think about. As has been our concluding 'theme' in all of our posts: wrestling
with the internal; 'why we do what we do questions' is one of the hardest things in life to think about and do. However, if
we want to learn to 'Manage our Stress' we need to take a hard look at ourselves, peel back
some of those hidden layers, see where we are off track and then make the needed corrections. Why not just face some
of your challenges and personal shortcomings with grace and dignity by really being Authentic. 'Authenticity' as
a person is very difficult and requires us to be deeply intuitive, look into our gut and make some hard 'self-assessments'.
As I have said before, I know this can be tough, uncomfortable and painful to do but I also know the effort
is worth it because of WHO we become through the journey!
Again be honest in your self-assessment
and please, please write your thoughts down. Have a great beginning of the week and I'll
see you on Wednesday with more 'tips/techniques' on 'Managing Stress'. As always,
thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
(If you are new to my 'blog' and have just joined us.....Welcome!
You have joined us as we are exploring the topic of Managing Stress. If you would like to 'catch-up' and connect
all the concepts I would suggest that you go into the 'archive' section and read the previous posts. The first
post on 'Managing Stress' was on Monday, April 19, 2010: This link should take you to that post: http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.04.18_arch.html )
8:05 am edt
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