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Friday, April 23, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Managing Stress' - Part 3I can't believe it is Friday all ready; well, I hope you
have had a great week! Welcome back as we continue our Characteristics of Success theme by tackling the forever 'hot'
topic of: 'Managing Stress'! In our first post we took a look at
'potential stressors' we may be currently facing in our personal and professional lives and then in our second post we explored
how complicated and confusing stress can be to understand. In the second post we also introduced three different
types of stress: 'Acute Stress, Episodic Acute Stress and Chronic Stress'. We also explained how each type of stress came with it's own characteristics,
symptoms, duration, and treatment approaches.
As is standard in all my blog/posts, I gave you a homework
assignment which had three questions. The objective of the homework was to get you thinking about taking the 'stressors in
your life' and trying to categorize them as 'Acute, Episodic Acute and Chronic'.
I really hope you took the time to answer these questions and think about the categories. The only way to learn and grow is
to take our magnifying glass and look within.....I hope you did......you won't regret it........you simply won't!
(If you are new to my 'blog' and have
just joined us.....Welcome! You have joined us a few posts into exploring the topic of Managing Stress. If you would
like to 'catch-up' and connect all the concepts I would suggest that you go into the 'archive' section and
read the previous posts. The first post on 'Managing Stress' was on Monday, April 19, 2010: This link
should take you to that post:http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.04.18_arch.html ) So far we have identified the
'Stressors' in our life and also tried to categorize them as to their degree or severity. Before I proceed I want to
reitterate what was explained in the last post about treatment options for these three types of stress:
* Acute stress can
crop up in anyone's life, and it is highly treatable and manageable.
* Treating episodic acute stress requires intervention on a number of levels, generally requiring professional
help, which may take many months.
* Chronic stress kills through suicide, violence, heart attack, stroke, and
perhaps, even cancer. People wear down to a final, fatal breakdown. Because physical and mental resources are depleted through
long-term attrition, the symptoms of chronic stress are difficult to treat and may require extended medical as well as behavioral
treatment and stress management!
(I
wanted to share the above thoughts again before we proceed because I wanted all my readers to know that 'Managing our
Stress Load' may be very difficult. Depending on the amount and duration of the stress we are experiencing we may feel
absolutely overwhelmed. As the second and third types of stress suggest; getting the 'help' we need sometimes may require the
assistance of medical professionals. My friends I want us all to realize that there is never.....ever......ever......ever......anything
wrong with seeking 'outside' help if we feel like we are drowning in the sea of life. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of or
to feel bad about.
We need to be able to put down our 'macho/bravado' pride that says: 'I'll handle this on my
own!' and realize we may need help. Getting a professionals help, guidance and direction can do nothing other than help us
deal more effectively with the hand, life has dealt us. I will be honest and share that I have sought the insight and guidance
of several 'counselors' in my life when I was facing what I felt were some overwhelming challenges and I know this.....they
were truly able to help me. If you need outside help, please go find it! What we will be doing over the next several posts
is sharing some thoughts, ideas and suggestions on how to manage the first type of stress: Acute. These thoughts and suggestions
may help you but you also may need more assistance so please don't hesitate to go and get the help you need. There are many
people that care about you, love you deeply and want nothing more for you than to be 'happy and succeed'.
Again, please don't ever feel embarrassed by seeking 'Professional' help!)
With that said I would like
to now concentrate our efforts on how we can 'Manage' the stress in our lives. Before I share any suggestions/steps/tips
to help us deal and manage our stress I think we first need to talk about some of the 'NOT-SO-EFFECTIVE' ways many of us currently
deal with the 'Stressors in our Life'. Lets look at some
of the 'Unhealthy' ways we cope with stress:
* Smoking * Drinking too much * Frequently
using pills or drugs to relax * Overeating or under-eating
* Zoning out for hours in front of the TV, Video Game or Computer * Sleeping too
much * Procrastination * Filling every
minute of the day to avoid facing our problems * Taking out our stress on others
(Lashing out, angry outbursts, physical and emotional violence) * Withdrawing from
friends, family and activities
Realize this:
these coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run. As you look at the 'partial'
list above: Do any of the 'activites' mentioned, fit how YOU are currently trying to 'cope' with your stress at work
or home? Are there other similar activities, not listed above, that you know you partake in that are just serving to 'mask'
the stress as opposed to effectively dealing with it?
To bring our discussion to a close I want to continue the
'method' we introduced in our first post and include some 'homework' based on the 'Un-Healthy' ways we may
be currently dealing with our 'Stress'. (Again if you haven't done the April 19 homework, now
would be a good time to re-read this post and just do the homework.) Thinking of the list of 'Stressors
in Your Life' and how you choose to deal with them please answer the following two
questions:
#1. Looking at the list above, which of these 'Un-Healthy' ways
do you currently use to deal with your personal and professional stress? (Again be honest, look
at your 'stressors' and then look at each of the items listed above and do some 'self-assessment'!)
#2. What are some other 'Un-Healthy'
ways (maybe not on our partial list) that you currently use to try and deal with your stress? (Once again, honesty
is the best policy.......you're not fooling yourself......you know what you do to try and cope.....just be honest and candid.....that
is what 'Authentic' people do!)
I hope our discussion today again sparked some internal dialogues
and questions for you to think about. As has been our concluding 'theme' in all our posts; one of the hardest things
I believe any of us can do is wrestle with the internal 'why we do what we do questions'. But we also need to continue to
realize that 'LIFE' is far more deeper than what we see on the outside.....all of us have become wonderful at faking
and hiding what's really going on inside of us. However; 'True Authenticity' requires us to be deeply intuitive,
look into our gut and make some hard 'self-assessments'. As I have said before, I know that going to 'THAT
PLACE' deep inside YOU may be very difficult, somewhat uncomfortable and even down-right painful. I also
know the effort is worth it because of what/who we become during the journey!
Again be honest in your self-assessment and
please, please write your thoughts down. I think it is very important for you to 'VISUALLY' see how you currently try and
cope with your stress!!!!!! Have a great Friday and weekend and on Monday we will continue
our discussion on 'Managing Stress'. As always, thanks for listening/reading and remember
to:
'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
3:36 am edt
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Managing Stress' - Part 2Welcome Back on this fine Wednesday! On Monday we began a
'new' series in Characteristics of Success by tackling a 'hot' topic we are all dealing with in our personal and professional lives
today: 'Managing Stress'! We started by taking a look at 'potential
stressors' we may be currently facing and also gave you a two-question homework assignment to get us moving in the right direction.
As I always ask: Did you do the homework assignment? Did you make a list of the current items, things, people
in your personal and professional life that are causing you stress? If you did the homework assignment I would like to ask
you this: What did it feel like to make the lists? Was it tough? After you made them the list did you then take the time to
re-read your list and study all the different areas of 'stress' you're currently facing? If you did; I'll bet you quickly
started becoming or feeling more 'over-whelmed'. I point this thought out for several reasons: #1. I want you to know that
what you're feeling is completely normal.....we all feel that way. #2. You can and will make it through this overwhelming
list and come out on the other side.....you will! (Breathe and Smile.....You'll be OK! ) What I would like to do today is break down the 'stress or stressors' we experience in our lives so we
can start to wrap our heads around these items. I would also like us to be able to look at our list, understand
the 'extent of our stress' and also understand the corresponding repercussions we experience from these in our personal
and professional lives.
Stress management can be complicated and confusing because there are different types
of stress--acute stress, episodic acute stress, and chronic stress -- each with its own characteristics, symptoms, duration,
and treatment approaches. 'The following is reprinted in it's entirety with credit given to the American Psychological
Association.' (http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress-kinds.aspx)
Let's explore each one:
Acute StressAcute stress is the most common form of stress. It comes from demands and pressures of the recent
past and anticipated demands and pressures of the near future. Acute stress is thrilling and exciting in small doses, but
too much is exhausting. A fast run down a challenging ski slope, for example, is exhilarating early in the day. That same
ski run late in the day is taxing and wearing. Skiing beyond your limits can lead to falls and broken bones. By the same token,
overdoing on short-term stress can lead to psychological distress, tension headaches, upset stomach, and other symptoms. Fortunately, acute stress symptoms are recognized by
most people. It's a laundry list of what has gone awry in their lives: the auto accident that crumpled the car fender, the
loss of an important contract, a deadline they're rushing to meet, their child's occasional problems at school, and so on.
Because it is short term, acute stress doesn't have enough
time to do the extensive damage associated with long-term stress. The most common symptoms are:
emotional distress--some combination of anger or irritability,
anxiety, and depression, the three stress emotions; muscular problems including tension headache, back pain, jaw pain, and the muscular tensions that lead
to pulled muscles and tendon and ligament problems; stomach, gut and bowel problems such as heartburn, acid stomach, flatulence, diarrhea, constipation, and
irritable bowel syndrome; transient
over arousal leads to elevation in blood pressure, rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, heart palpitations, dizziness, migraine
headaches, cold hands or feet, shortness of breath, and chest pain.
Acute stress can crop up in anyone's life, and it is highly treatable and manageable. Episodic Acute StressThere are those, however, who suffer acute stress frequently, whose lives are so disordered that they
are studies in chaos and crisis. They're always in a rush, but always late. If something can go wrong, it does. They take
on too much, have too many irons in the fire, and can't organize the slew of self-inflicted demands and pressures clamoring
for their attention. They seem perpetually in the clutches of acute stress. I t is common for people with acute stress reactions to be over aroused, short-tempered,
irritable, anxious, and tense. Often, they describe themselves as having "a lot of nervous energy." Always in a
hurry, they tend to be abrupt, and sometimes their irritability comes across as hostility. Interpersonal relationships deteriorate
rapidly when others respond with real hostility. The work becomes a very stressful place for them. The cardiac prone, "Type A" personality described
by cardiologists, Meter Friedman and Ray Rosenman, is similar to an extreme case of episodic acute stress. Type A's have an
"excessive competitive drive, aggressiveness, impatience, and a harrying sense of time urgency." In addition there
is a "free-floating, but well-rationalized form of hostility, and almost always a deep-seated insecurity." Such
personality characteristics would seem to create frequent episodes of acute stress for the Type A individual. Friedman and
Rosenman found Type A's to be much more likely to develop coronary heat disease than Type B's, who show an opposite pattern
of behavior.
Another form of
episodic acute stress comes from ceaseless worry. "Worry warts" see disaster around every corner and pessimistically
forecast catastrophe in every situation. The world is a dangerous, unrewarding, punitive place where something awful is always
about to happen. These "awfulizers" also tend to be over aroused and tense, but are more anxious and depressed than
angry and hostile.
The symptoms
of episodic acute stress are the symptoms of extended over arousal: persistent tension headaches, migraines, hypertension,
chest pain, and heart disease. Treating episodic acute stress requires intervention on a number of levels, generally requiring
professional help, which may take many months.
Often, lifestyle and personality issues are so ingrained and habitual with these individuals that they see nothing wrong
with the way they conduct their lives. They blame their woes on other people and external events. Frequently, they see their
lifestyle, their patterns of interacting with others, and their ways of perceiving the world as part and parcel of who and
what they are. Sufferers can be fiercely
resistant to change. Only the promise of relief from pain and discomfort of their symptoms can keep them in treatment and
on track in their recovery program.
Chronic StressWhile acute stress can be thrilling and exciting, chronic stress
is not. This is the grinding stress that wears people away day after day, year after year. Chron
ic stress destroys bodies, minds and lives. It wreaks havoc through long-term attrition. It's the stress of poverty, of dysfunctional
families, of being trapped in an unhappy mar
riage or in a despised job or career. It's the stress that the never-ending "troubles" have brought to the people
of Northern Ireland, the tensions of the Middle East h
ave brought to the Arab and Jew, and the endless ethnic rivalries that have been brought to the people of Eastern Europe and
the former Soviet Union. Chronic
stress comes when a person never sees a way out of a miserable situation. It's the stress of unrelenting demands and pressures
for seemingly interminable periods of time. With no hope, the individual gives up searching for solutions. Some chronic stresses stem from traumatic, early childhood
experiences that become internalized and remain forever painful and present. Some experiences profoundly affect personality.
A view of the world, or a belief system, is created that causes unending stress for the individual (e.g., the world is a threatening
place, people will find out you are a pretender, you must be perfect at all times).
When personality or deep-seated
convictions and beliefs must be reformulated, recovery requires active self-examination, often with professional help. The worst aspect of chronic stress is that people get used
to it. They forget it's there. People are immediately aware of acute stress because it is new; they ignore chronic stress
because it is old, familiar, and sometimes, almost comfortable.
Chronic stress kills through suicide, violence, heart attack, stroke, and, perhaps, even
cancer. People wear down to a final, fatal breakdown. Because physical and mental resources are depleted through long-term
attrition, the symptoms of chronic stress are difficult to treat and may require extended medical as well as behavioral treatment
and stress management
To
bring our discussion to a close I want to continue the 'method' we introduced in our first post on 'Managing
Stress'. I want to include some 'homework' based on the three types of 'Stress' we just explored above. Thinking
of the list of 'Stressors in Your Life' that
you completed on Monday, our first post, please answer the following questions: (If you never
did Monday's homework now would be a good time to go re-read this post and do the homework......Oh go on......go back and
do it.....it can only help you learn and grow!)
#1. As you re-look at Monday's list of the personal and professional items/things/people that
cause you 'Stress': How many of them would fall into the 'ACUTE' category? Be honest, look
at each item carefully and make your assessment. (Why not start a 'new' ACUTE' list and re-write the items you've
identified onto this list! Just do it!)
#2. Continue looking at Monday's list of the personal and
professional items/things/people that cause you 'Stress', now
answer: How many of them would fall into the 'EPISODIC ACUTE' category? Again, please be honest, look at
each item carefully and make your assessment. (Why not start a second list and this time place items you would identify
as 'EPISODIC ACUTE' on this list! Again, come-on, Just do it!)
#3. Now I would like you to continue looking at Monday's list of items/things/people that cause
you 'Stress' and answer: How many of them would fall into the
'CHRONIC STRESS' category? Once again, please, please, please be honest, look at each item carefully and make your
assessment. (Now, start a third list of 'CHRONIC STRESS' items
and add any of your stressors that would fit this category onto your list! Again, come-on, Just do it!)
I hope our discussion today sparked some internal dialogues and questions for you to think about. As
we established in our last post, one of the hardest things I believe any of us can do is wrestle with the 'items/things/areas'
in our lives that cause us stress. We need to continue to realize that 'LIFE' is far more deeper than a list of 'mechanical'
do's and don'ts and requires us to be deeply intuitive, look into our gut and make some hard 'self-assessments'. I know
that going to 'THAT PLACE' deep inside YOU is very difficult and can also be somewhat uncomfortable
or even down-right painful. Realize this; growth many times is painful, but it is well worth it because of what/who we become
on the way!
Again
be honest in your self-assessment and please, please write your thoughts down. I think it is very important for you to 'VISUALLY'
see and understand the items in your life that cause you stress: CATEGORIZED!!!!!! Have
a great Wednesday and on Friday we will continue our discussion on 'Managing Stress'. As
always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
9:06 am edt
Monday, April 19, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Managing Stress' - Part 1Welcome Back! On Friday we concluded a twelve-part series on
'Leadership Traits' and now I would like to begin exploring a brand new topic. We have entitled this 'blog' series:
'Characteristics of Success', in which we have been studying those traits, attributes or characteristics that certain people
seem to employ in their day-to-day personal and professional lives that bring or contribute to their 'success'. Over the last
nine months we have explored numerous traits/attributes and now I would like to begin a study on how 'Successful People' do
this one thing.......MANAGE STRESS!
If there is probably one aspect of life that is consistent to everyone, young or old, rich or poor it is our topic today....stress!
We ALL have it in various forms in our lives and how 'well' or 'not-so-well' we deal with it impacts our day-to-day lives
greatly. Lets start by taking a quick look at a 'partial' list of areas in our lives that may cause some 'stress':
* Our job and all it's related responsibilities
* Lost your job or you're 'un-happy' in your current job but are afraid to move-on
* Our personal realtionship life, single, married, separated, divorced, widowed *
Children, you want children and can't have them. You have them and are worried about 'raising' them (Drugs, alcohol, sex,
etc) * Money, not enough to pay the bills, house and car
payments, utilities, phone, Internet access, food, clothing, health insurance
* Extended 'Family' Issues with moms and dads, brothers and sisters, other relatives
* Alcoholism, Drug Dependence or other Addictive Behaviors * Health
related issues, cancer or a serious disease, depression, aging * Change,
the vast amount of personal and professional change we are dealing with and the fast paced nature of the change
As
you read the above 'partial' list you probably became acutely aware that even 'ONE' of those areas can cause
a whole lot of stress in your life. Now here is the challenge for 'ALL of US'........who in today's world is ONLY dealing
with ONE of the above areas?????? Many of us would be 'happy' if we were only dealing with one area.......the stark
reality in today's world is that most of us are dealing with many of those areas at the same time, there is no end
in sight and the resulting effect is we feel 'overwhelmed' with stress.
I heard a great interview once with a 'Professional
Athlete' who was very, very wealthy. The interviewer asked this man about his 'life of luxury' and how he had the 'world by
the tail'. The athlete looked at the interviewer and I will always remember what he said: 'Yes I have money and I can 'pay my bills'.......but I face all the other problems that everyone in this room faces.'
He went on to say: 'I worry about my kids, I have extended family problems, my daughter is going
through a divorce....my wife is battling 'breast cancer' and the list of the challenges in my family goes on-and-on. Yes I
have money.....but that is all it is......money....it doesn't solve all the other challenges in my life!' What
a great point this gentleman made and a great reminder to us all that we ALL deal with Stress; young, old, rich, poor! To bring our discussion to a close I want to continue the 'method' we introduced in previous posts
and that is I want to include some 'homework' to try and bring what I call some 'traction' to what we have discussed today. To
get us started exploring this topic I would like you to answer two questions as you think about the 'Stressors in Your Life' :
#1.
What are some of the items/things/people at work that cause you 'Stress'? Be honest and
brainstorm a list, write as many as you can down, even 'small' areas/items!
#2. What are some of the
items/things/people in your PERSONAL life that cause you 'Stress'? Again, brainstorm a list......go
ahead, list them all and write them down!
Again
be honest in your self-assessment and please, please write your thoughts down. It is very important for you to 'VISUALLY'
see and understand the items in your life that cause stress! Have a great Monday and on Wednesday we will continue our discussion on 'Managing
Stress'. As always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
10:50 am edt
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