Now lets turn our thoughts to the ninth trait in our discussion which is; Great Leaders are:

          9. Decisive and NOT Afraid to Take a Stand

As we begin our discussion of this ninth trait I want us to again think back and picture some of the people in our lives that we would define as 'Great Leaders'. I will bet that one of the traits that was clearly evident in their life was their 'Decisiveness and willingness to Take a Stand!' Lets be honest aren't those attributes/qualities we appreciate and admire in others.....being 'Decisive' and a willingness to 'Stand-up' for what they believe. Who likes to be around someone who 'vacillates' all the time.....who doesn't know what they want......who asks 3000 people for their opinions when they know in 'Their Heart' what THEY SHOULD DO!......and worse yet......who appreciates someone who isn't willing to 'Stand/Fight' for what they BELIEVE!

One of the Great Leaders I had the privilege of knowing and working with used to say this: 'Make a Decision and then Do Your Best to Make that Decision Work!'

Now before we begin our discussion I must acknowledge this: For some of you, the ninth 'trait' and the above statement just made you cringe inside. Upon hearing those words you immediately got your 'gaurd-up' and began coming up with all the reasons and examples from your life why this 'trait' either shouldn't be there or if it is there....it must be considered 'thoughtfully'.

Now please realize......I can hear some of you all ready.....I can hear your thoughts.....I can hear all the 'reasons' why this 'trait' upon initial inspection has 'flaws'. I can hear you saying......'I've worked around people who made 'quick' decisions.....who took 'Stands', then tried to make the decisions work, only to find out down the road they made the 'WRONG' decision in the FIRST Place......Then we had to go back and 'fix' what were the consequences of their decisions.' (Please Smile.....because for some of you......I just READ your mind!)

Now as we look deeper into this trait, lets once again try to connect the concepts from our previous posts. I think the ninth trait and the above-mentioned quote not only go hand-in-hand but are a key component to 'Great Leaders'. Think about the qualities/Traits we have discussed so far: Authentic, Desires to Serve, enjoys Empowering People, is Guided by the Heart, Lives with Passion,  Recognizes their Shortcomings, Lives and Leads with Purpose and Builds Enduring Relationships . 

If you picture the type of person with the above-mentioned qualities I think you will agree that this person is NOT someone who just 'flies' by the seat of their pants......who doesn't think.....who goes off on every 'whim' and tangent.....the 'Ready.....SHOOT.....Aim' type. Think about it: When you honestly picture a person who does embrace these 'traits'; do you HONESTLY think of someone who DOESN'T 'count the costs of their decisions/choices'... Do You? (I know your answer!)

Yet the challenge for some of us is that we try and 'Black and White' every decision, every choice we make. When we operate from that mind-set we can analyze a situation to death and end up paralyzing ourselves and never taking action, never making a decision. We worry about how if affects everyone else and forget to realize that any decision we make is going to probably NOT meet the needs of someone in the equation. The amount of 'time and energy' we put into making a decision/choice end up causing a lot more extra pressure and related stress and ultimately it also doesn't 'help' us make the choice!'

Folks who operate in this arena can get themselves so tied up around a choice/decision that by the time they do make one....if they do...either the window of opportunity has passed, or if the window hasn't passed and they do make the choice they then wonder 'why I didn't make this choice sooner'?

Again, I'm not suggesting to not think.....to not ponder deep, important decisions. Great Leaders think about the decisons/choices in front of them. They think about the consequences to themselve and others. They'll ask for the insights, thoughts and opinions of others. They'll weigh all those things but then they will compare them to what their HEART, their GUT, their  AUTHENTIC SELF feels/senses. Once they have done this, then they will make the 'Best Decision' they can. Once they make that decision, then they will also move forward and do their best to 'make that decision work'. They won't spend time looking backwards.....thinking about 'what if scenarios'....the decision has been made now lets move forward.

Now again folks lets realize a couple things here and be honest with ourselves. No one and I mean no one makes all 'Good Decsions'... NO ONE.....NO NOT EVEN YOU! Face it......we all make mistakes and we all make a lot of them. The people who make 'quick' decisions make a lot of mistakes and the people who try their best to 'analyze' the situation deeply also make a lot of mistakes. We all make tons of errors and bad choices in our lives.....we just do. Which is why the sixth trait above is: 'Recognize their Shortcomings' is there.....we all make errors in judgments, we make poor decisions about people, life choices....etc.....etc. The key is when we make that 'mistake or wrong choice', we need to face it squarely, admit it, try and 'fix-it' as best we can and then move onward! 

Here is what I would like us to 'take away' from today. One of the aspects/traits/ behaviors I think we all appreciate about 'Great Leaders' is their ability to make decisions, to make a choice and then their willingness to take a 'stand' based on that choice. We, quite frankly, might have made another choice, but I think if we feel they are truly 'Authentic Leaders', living from their Heart, we can 'respect' their decision/choice. As I said in our first post on Leadership', being 'Authentic' doesn't necessarily mean I will agree with you. I have known many people and have friends that are Authentic down to their core, yet I may disagree strongly with them in many areas. However, even though I may disagree with their decision/choices I still respect them for living true to who they are as a person. 

Now lets turn our thoughts to the eighth trait in our discussion which is Great Leaders:

          8. Build Enduring Relationships            

Lets begin again by establishing a common language for these three words by referring to the dictionary. 

'Webster' defines 'Build' as: To construct (esp. something complex) by assembling and joining parts or materials: to establish, increase, or strengthen: to build up one's hopes: to mold, form, or create.

'Webster' defines 'Enduring' as: Lasting; permanent: patient; abiding, long-suffering.

'Webster' defines 'Relationships' as: A connection, association, or involvement between persons, an emotional or other connection between people.

I think most of us would agree with the eighth characteristic/trait and to prove that I want you to think of the following: 'Think of the 'Greatest Leaders' you have been around professionally and personally and I want you to picture and explain the type of relationships these leaders had with you and other individuals.' As you think about and picture this person and re-live some of the interpersonal scenarios you experienced with them; I'll bet you have some very unique, strong and definitive memories.

Again I want to tie this trait back to the other seven traits we have discussed so far. When we meet a person who is Authentic, Desires to Serve, enjoys Empowering People, is Guided by the Heart, Lives with Passion, Recognizes their Shortcomings and Lives and Leads with Purpose we are indeed in 'rare' company. That is why I have stated repeatedly that 'Great Leaders' are hard to come by and the reason they are hard to come by is that the above-mentioned traits and qualities come with a 'huge' personal/professional price tag. The amount of energy, drive, courage and personal committment it takes to 'exemplify' these traits, to LIVE them in your every day life is huge. (Totally worth it.....but HUGE none-the-less.) 

Now let me tie what we just shared with the eighth trait: Build Enduring Relationships. I think a natural result or by-product of conducting yourself in the above-mentioned ways creates and sustains relationships with others. Again it goes back to the 'gut or intuitive' level of Great Leaders. Here is what I mean: If you get the privilege of interacting with someone on a daily basis that truly exudes and lives the above traits/actions; isn't a natural result that we 'respect' this person and in turn want to be around them personally or professionally!

Once again lets look at and combine the definitions we introduced above: Building Enduring Relationships means to: (Build) To construct, to establish, to strengthen: to build up one's hopes, to mold, form, or create a (Enduring) lasting, permanent, abiding, long-suffering (Relationship) connection, association, or emotional involvement with other people.

I realize once again for you strongly 'linear' folks that you may struggle with this because it is not 'black and white' or calculatable......it just isn't. Yes Great Leaders can and will make 'Hard Black and White' decisions when needed but as we are seeing, they are very fluid, intuitive (gut level) and driven from deep within their 'core' as a person. Now, do Great Leaders 'calculate' how they would like to build their teams etc. etc. Yes; however the 'calculation' is not just black and white facts, they consider black and white facts but the stronger basis for their calculation is 'emotional' and is derived from their 'Heart, Living with Passion, etc. etc.'               

I believe that if we will learn from and embrace the 'traits' we have been discussing we will automatically begin to be able to build/maintain enduring personal and professional relationships. Now I am NOT saying that it won't be hard work, it will be difficult. 'Building or constructing' anything, especially powerful relationships takes effort and consistency, however the real basis of that effort and consistentcy has to have at it's core......Guidance from the HEART.

I had a friend tell me something a long time ago that has stuck with me over the last twenty years. My friend had been a Pastor for much of his life but had left the 'Pastoral' ministry and now was working full-time as a training consultant to the corporate world. I was struggling with a certain professional 'relationship' (Job) and was talking with him at lunch about my particular troubles and struggles. After he listened intently he looked me square in the eye and said: 'If your Head and Heart aren't in it......you better get your ASS out too!'  I will never forget that moment......I almost dropped my fork at lunch. What Rick said was 'Not' what I expected but was absolutely what I 'Needed'! His words that came from 'his heart', clarified for me what I was feeling and enabled me to make the decision I needed and to move forward in my life. 

To bring our discussion to a close I want to continue with the 'method' we have introduced and concluded all our Leadership posts/thoughts with: I would like you to answer the following questions as you think about the quality/trait of 'Build Enduring Relationships' :

Do you agree with what we've discussed today that 'Building Enduring Relationships' has at it's core, the Heart? Why or why not? 

Thinking of individuals you know and would say are 'Great Leaders'; do you feel they create and maintain 'Enduring Relationships? (Again Why or Why not & How do they do it?)

What do you need to do personally or professionally to build or maintain your relationships.

Like I shared about my lunch with Rick: What relationships do YOU need to let go of? Yes you heard me CORRECTLY....LET GO OF!!!!!! Your Head and Heart aren't in it and you know it! (I know this is hard but please BE HONEST.....the only person you're trying to fool is yourself!)

What is keeping you from living this way?

What or 'Who' are you AFRAID of?

What will be the 'ultimate' price you will pay personally or professionally if you choose (and yes it is a CHOICE....deal with it!) to NOT build relationships from 'Your Core, from Your Heart'. ( I know, another hard and deep question.....but well worth asking!)

What could YOU DO or Start on right NOW that would begin moving YOU in the right direction? (Why not begin today?) 

Again be honest in your self-assessment, write your thoughts down and then take some action! 
 
So far we have established that 'Great Leaders' have as their foundation of strength a deep 'Authenticity', a need and desire to 'live' true to their core. Living this way gives these people a natural style and flow to their work and personal life that seems to enable them to ; 'Build Enduring Relationships'. Throughout all of our thoughts on Leadership we have established the following premise: Great Leaders are NOT perfect......we all have good and bad days......but the key is the DIRECTION you are moving....your FOCUS!  

Remember our concluding thought: 'ACTIONS truly do speak LOUDER than words......ACTIONS SHOUT.....words whisper!' So my question to you is: Are you 'Building Enduring Relationships by truly Living from your Heart/Core'? Once again; if you are, Congratulations, all of us in your personal life and professional life appreciate your authenticity.

I also hope our discussion today sparked some internal dialogues and questions for you to think about. As we established in our last post, one of the hardest things I believe any of us can do is wrestle with the underlying thought that 'True Great Leadership' is far more deeper than a list of 'mechanical' do's and don'ts. It is deeply intuitive, comes from your gut and going to 'THAT PLACE' deep inside YOU is often  very difficult and can also be painful. Realize this; growth many times is painful, but it is well worth it because of what/who we become on the way!    

Over the last several months I have gotten some wonderful feedback from people who have read my thoughts and answered the questions I have posed. Some of the decisions you have made and the directions you're headed are simply amazing. You deserve all the credit for what you've accomplished and I truly am honored to be a very small part of your journey forward. Thanks for sharing your challenges, insights and victories with me, I truly do appreciate and admire what you've done.

With that said: I will continue my guarantee and promise from the last few posts.......If you choose to answer the 'homework' questions and then commit to taking ACTION.....you'll never, ever regret it......you simply won't!!!!!! (Your emails to me prove or re-affirm this thought!)

Have a great Wednesday & I'll see you on Friday with more 'Leadership' thoughts. As always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to: