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Friday, April 2, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Leadership Traits' - Part 6Welcome Back, I can't believe it is Friday all ready! I hope you have had
a great week and also hope you have been enjoying our discussion of Leadership Traits........Ready to continue our journey? We
have been working from this tenant since our first post; that 'Success' leaves clues, and hopefully you have been
learning as much as I have from these clues. Today lets look at the sixth Leadership Trait, explore it's
attributes and then bring a personal application for each of us to think about and apply.
The first
five aspects/traits we have examined so far were:
1. Authenticity
2. Service, or a Desire to Serve
3. Empowering People
4. Guided by the Heart!
5. Live with Passion
On Wednesday I continued the 'tradition' of giving you some homework questions to think about and answer involving
the fifth trait listed above....... Did you answer the questions? I hope so!!!! 
Now lets turn our thoughts to the sixth trait in our discussion which is:
6. Recognize their shortcomings
For those of you that have read the last five posts, you've probably been also
'thinking ahead' as to what the next trait or traits will be. I'll bet you have generated your own list of what 'attributes'
you would list and are now comparing your list to mine. One of the traits/attributes that we would all probably agree needs
to be on the list is #6 above.......however I'll bet many of us didn't put this one on our list.......why?
Now the above question of why is primarily just for the 'effect'....we all know 'why' we didn't list this one on our lists......who
in the world want to 'list' or parade their 'shortcomings' around for the whole world to see. If anything we spend a great
deal of our time and energy trying to 'act' like we don't have shortcomings and doing our best to 'hide' or at least 'diminish'
them slightly so others don't notice. I often hear men and women give the 'pretense' they can do certain things when
they know they can't. They know 'in their Hearts' if they attempted to do the thing they're not good at, even their
attempt would be ugly at best, but they will still give you this 'false bravado' that they can do it!. I hear people
all the time giving the 'impression' they could do something better than someone else.......even when they know they can't.
Think about this: Everyone of us knows someone who is a 'know-it-all' and is completely full of themselves. We also
know people who refuse to ever admit they were wrong or incorrect. I have met and know people in both categories above. I
guess I will ask you: What is it like being around one of those types of people for an extended period of time?.....Really,
what is it like? I'll bet you walk away smiling to yourself and saying: 'I can't believe that person'. (I KNOW what my
Daddy would've said about them.....and it involves the bathroom and something 'stinking'  !) These types of people 'think' they are never wrong.....if if by chance they are ever remotely close to being wrong
they will have a LONG list of excuses as to why it worked out the way it did. It seems these folks lack an ability to honestly
assess themselves and also to take responsibility for the failures and shortcomings they have.
I guess I would
also ask you: Would you call this person 'Authentic'? Do you really think they qualify as a 'Great Leader'? Would you want
to spend all your time at work (or home) being around them and listening to them? Would You????......I wouldn't/couldn't.....LIFE
is WAY to SHORT for ME to put up with these types of folks, let alone to surround myself with them!....Sorry, it
just IS! I know we all have to 'interact' with these types of people all the time in our day-to-day lives. I know and
understand that it is part of life, I get it! I also know and bet you hope your 'interaction' with them is as brief
as possible, because it is hard to take much more of these individuals. But I guess I want/need to go back to my question
I asked above: Do you really enjoy interacting with these people on an extended basis? I think YOUR answer to my
question would be a RESOUNDING: 'NO'......You ENDURE them!!!!!
I'm not saying these peole aren't talented, don't
have lots of ability and don't work hard; I know they do and they can 'accomplish' quite a lot. For me it gets around or back
to my statement above.......'Life' is way too short to not enjoy and love the ride.....yes I can 'tolerate' them for brief
stints but do I/we really 'like' being around them? I think it is excruciating and in my book they will
Never, Ever be a Truly Authentic Leader/person until they are able to accept and embrace the 6th trait above. Until they can
accept and learn to cope with their 'SHORTCOMINGS' I honestly feel they will never be able to be Authentic, they may get 'results'
but they will never be Authentic......ever! (Now I will get down off my
soap box....I feel better! Ahhhhhhhh)
Why is this? Why do we spend so much time 'hiding' our shortcomings when we and probably every one around
us knows they are there....why? I think in many ways it goes back to a 'scewed' definition we have of 'great leadership'.
I think many of us have bought into the 'bravado' type leadership mode that charges through obstacles, never looks back, fears
nothing and any minute shortcomings they may have are more than made up for by their shear will, determination and talent.
We also learn through the tough 'growing-up' lessons in life what it 'feels' like when we aren't good at something or aren't
as good as others at a particular activity. I'll bet many of us can remember being 'teased' unmercifully by others
when one of our shortcoming reared it's head.
From the moment we as a child or young adults were 'belittled' or
'teased' for our lack of a certain attribute, we started developing our own self-defense mechanisms. From those moments we
determined we wouldn't go through that again and instinctively developed an amazing set of self-preservation abilities.
We either completely 'stopped' doing it, found a way to hide or distract others from 'seeing' our shortcomings or worked
very hard to at least be 'adequate' at the task so the 'teasing' would go away. This is also where many people developed
the 'false bravado' type of front, this was their protection, their way of 'hiding'. It is during these times and through
these experiences that we learn very masterfully (or so we think) to 'hide or mask' our deficiencies.
Now I want
us to change our focus and think about this: How do you feel when someone looks at you and just acknowledges a shortcoming
they have in their life. Can we be honest.....isn't it refreshing. Don't we feel more in 'touch' with that person and their
honest candor. Aren't we also more readily willing to help someone who is 'trying' but admits they lack some knack,
skill or have never been taught how to do something.
I will share two examples that have come out of my life; one
personal and one professional.
As a boy growing up I really enjoyed athletics and was fairly well co-ordinated.
My dad was always playing some sport with me, football, basketball, baseball, tennis, ping-pong, archery and the list goes
on and on. During one summer when I was probably twelve or thirteen we hosted our relatives for a Sunday afternoon cook-out.
After brunch we went into the backyard to throw the football. My one uncle joined us and as he did he exclaimed: 'I have never
thrown or caught a football.....but I'll give it a try'.
Now the first thing you need to understand is that
I was shocked out of my gourd. The thought of not being able to throw or catch a football was a concept that was so foreign
to me. I could not for the life of me get that image/thought out of my young head, I was flabbergasted and bewildered. Well
my Uncle came out......we gave him the football and he was right......he couldn't throw it.....at ALL! I stood their
in absolute amazement, shock and utter disbelief......a grown man with children who couldn't do this......something that was
effortless for me.
The beauty of that afternoon was three-fold. #1. He admitted that he (an adult) couldn't
do it; which was refreshing in and of itself to hear.....especially from an 'Adult' through a kid's eyes. #2. He came out
and tried anyway......no excuses......just content trying and learning. He looked foolish for quite a while but by the end
of our time, started to get the hang of it. #3. He stayed out there with us, had fun and was completely secure in who he was
as a MAN/person even though it was obvious the 'NFL' was definitely not in his future. I can remember that afternoon
so clearly and to this day remain impressed by my Uncle's candor, honesty and effort.
My professional
example came from two of my Marriott bosses: I was very fortunate to have a direct boss and also his boss who were both 'Authentic'
to the core. At that point in my career I had moved from the 'operations' side of the business to the corporate side of the
business. I was part of Marriott's Management Training and Development Department as Marriott's National Training Manager.
My boss, the 'Director of Training' and his boss, the 'Vice-President of Human Resources' were both wonderful leaders. They
choose and worked with a staff that was very diversified with people having many different but complimentary skills.
I can remember getting 'complimented' by these bosses at different times in my career and having them individually
recognize a talent and ability I had demonstrated. Both of them were comfortable giving me a compliment while also saying/admitting
to me that they were NOT able to do what I could do. I can remember hearing those words out of their two mouths
and being blown away. I thought wow, that is cool. They are comfortable enough being the boss and they didn't feel like
they have to be 'better' than their people at a particular thing/task! They didn't feel a need to 'COMPETE' but were
not only 'comfortable' in their own skin but were also comfortable and confident enough in themselves, to be able to truly
appreciate the skills and abilities of others......WOW!
I think, from a business perspective, this was my first
real glimpse into 'Authentic' Leaders. What is also interesting about their willingness to share their comments was the effect
it had on myself and all the other staff. Because they were able to realize, accept and encourage the different and unique
strengths each of us had, it made us all feel special and valued. I know this, as a department we worked hard for these
two individuals and much of that was because of their 'Authenticity' and their willingness to respect us, for
our 'unique' abilities and talents.
The kind of people mentioned above: my Uncle and my two Marriott bosses
were such great life examples of what it means to be Authentic. As we have said all along: Leaders aren't perfect; they are
comfortable letting their 'Authenticity' shine through and one example of how that occurs is by their willingness and
ability to 'Recognize their own Shortcomings'. Through their example I, and many others have been encouraged in
our careers and blessed in our lifes.
To bring our discussion to a close I want to continue with the
'method' we have introduced and concluded all our Leadership posts/thoughts with: I would like you to answer
the following questions as you think about the quality/trait of 'Regognizing
our Shortcomings' :
What are some of your 'Shortcomings'?
Your Weaknesses? (At work....at Home?)
If you ask other people at work or home: What your 'Shortcomings'
are, what do you think they would say? Be honest!
Where do you need to just 'fess-up' to others about
your weaknesses? (Professionally and Personally)
What is keeping, stopping or holding you back from admitting
your weaknesses? What (or WHO) are you afraid of?
Realizing we can't all be great at everything: What are
some steps you could take to 'shore-up' your weaknesses? What 'ACTIONS' do you need to take that could help?
Who
do you need to ask for help? (Don't be proud....just ask!)
What area could you start on and when will you begin?
Again be honest in your self-assessment, write your thoughts down and then take some action!
So far we have established that 'Great Leaders' have
as their foundation of strength a deep 'Authenticity', a need and desire to 'live' true to their core. I also think
one of the biggest attributes that makes 'Authentic' leaders the 'real deal' is that they use their natural abilities while
also recognizing their shortcomings, admiting them and then working hard to overcome them. We have talked
about and established throughout these posts the following premise: Great Leaders are NOT perfect!......They
have their 'faults and shortcomings' just as we do. Effective Leaders choose to not hide behind some false 'bravado' but choose
to admit their shortcomings and then take action to 'improve' them......Once again it is about movement FORWARD....it
is about progress, not perfection.
Throughout these posts
we have established as a concluding thought: ACTIONS truly do speak LOUDER than words......ACTIONS SHOUT.....words
whisper! So my question to you is: Do you know what your shortcomings are? Do you admit them to yourself
and others and then work on improving them. If you are all ready 'honest' about your 'shortcomings' ......Congratulations,
all of us appreciate your authenticity.
On the other hand, as we proceeded through this discussion
today, I hope the thoughts sparked some internal dialogues and questions for you to think about. One of the hardest
things I believe any of us can do is realize and 'Recognize our Shortcomings'. From an early age we are taught and shown how
to 'hide' these areas instead of embracing and accepting them. I think it takes a lot bigger person to 'realize and accept'
their faults and weaknesses than it does to 'fake-it', 'hide-it', or 'boast' and try to show off their strengths.
Realize this: Once you have learned to not only
accept your strengths and talents, but your weaknesses and flaws, I believe at that point you are on the cusp of embracing
'True Authentic' Leadership. The ability to accept our weaknesses......to sometimes laugh at ourselves......to embrace those
who have strengths we don't.......to do the best we can to 'improve' these areas realizing we may never, ever be 'natural
at them'......but knowing we can 'improve'......when you reach that point or stage in life you are 'moving forward and
making progress'.....and that my friends is what Leaders do......they move forward and make progress!!!!!
I will continue my guarantee and promise from the last post.......If you choose to answer the 'homework'
questions and then commit to taking some ACTION.....you'll never, ever regret it......you simply won't!!!!!! Have
a great Friday and a Great Weekend! I'll see you on Monday with more 'Leadership' thoughts. As always, thanks for
listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream Big
and Dare to Fail!'
(If you are new to my 'blog' and have just joined us.....Welcome!
You have joined us, kind of in the 'middle' of a series of thoughts/post on 'Traits of Leadership'. If you would like to 'catch-up' and connect
all the concepts I would suggest that you go into the 'archive' section and read the previous three posts. If you
click on this link it will take you into the blog archives and the first post on Leadership started on Monday, March 22, 2010:
http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.03.21_arch.html )
4:53 am edt
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Leadership Traits' - Part 5Welcome Back! I hope you have been enjoying our discussion of Leadership Traits and are ready
to continue our journey. We have been working from this tenant since our first post on this subject: 'Success'
leaves clues, and if we carefully hone-in on these clues, study them, we can learn together. Today lets look at
the next Leadership Trait, explore it's attributes and then I'll try to bring a personal application for
each of us to apply to our own lives.
The first four aspects/traits we examined so far were:
1. Authenticity
2. Service, or a Desire to Serve
3. Empowering People
4. Guided by the Heart!
On Monday I
continued the 'tradition' of giving you some homework questions to think about and answer involving the fourth trait listed
above....... I hope you thought about and answered the questions!
Now lets turn our thoughts to the fifth trait in our discussion which is:
5. Live with Passion
Lets begin again by establishing a
common language/definition for Passion. 'Webster' defines 'Passion'
as: Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or
hate, a strong desire; a strong or extravagant fondness or enthusiasm.
I
think trait number four, 'Guided by the Heart' provides a natural segue to trait
number five, 'Live with Passion'. Again
lets connect the concepts/traits back to trait number one: True Leaders are 'AUTHENTIC' to their core, there is a 'realness'
that pervades them that is special and unique. Lets be candid: Why do we view some people as being truly 'Authentic', the
'real deal'? I would bet it is because there is something intrinsic to 'who they are as a person'.....something deeper then
just what they do.....something that is hard to put our finger on......what is it.....it is 'Their Heart'. You can't
put a 'figure' on it, you can't calculate it.....it is just something you sense in your 'spirit' about them.
Don't
we all find there to be something refreshing about people who are 'Authentic'!!!!! When we step back from this quality/trait
we realize that one of the aspects of it that is so enthralling and engaging to us is that they ARE 'Guided
by their Heart'. Again, we might not be able to point to a specific task or way they do something but it is a 'sense' we get
when we are around them. I also think when people are Authentic and guided by their heart they also embrace and 'Live with
Passion'. I think the two go hand-in-hand and that is what/why we appreciate and admire these people so much.
Lets examine the fifth trait, 'Passion' in more detail and we'll start by re-visiting the definition: Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate, a strong desire; a strong
or extravagant fondness or enthusiasm.
Any person I have every been around personally
or professionally that I thought was a 'Great Leader' had the quality in their life of 'Passion'. There seemed to be a literal 'fire'
in their belly......something internally that ignited them and impelled them forward. They were powerful.....
their 'belief' in an idea, system, process or person was compelling.
They were filled with strong desires to accomplish the things in front of them. They 'loved'
doing what they were doing....it brought them great energy......they were filled with
an enthusiasm you could actually 'feel and sense' .......the 'LOVE' for what they were doing was evident by their attitude and actions......it
was on 'display' if you will!
So, we would all probably agree we can 'recognize' the trait/characteristic
of 'Passion' in others but then the question begs to be asked: 'How do we Live with Passion'? (Especially if you haven't
pursued your passions in a very long time. You've placed them to the side because of a varied number of 'life' reasons
that were more of a (seemed) priority.) How do you decide to 'live with passion' when the challenges of life have
seemingly beat you into submission and the mere thought of going after the things/opportunities/people that you LOVE is overwhelming
at best.
Once again we are seeing a recurring theme in our study of 'Leadership'........great Leaders are not
somehow 'born'. (Yes some people have more talent and abilities than others in certain areas but developing your Leadership
Abilities is hard, hard work.) Leaders and especially 'great leaders' have paid the 'price' which true leadership extracts
from any and all who dare to venture into it's realm. The bottom line once again is this: There is no simple way.....no
formula.....it is YOU spending time alone with YOU thinking about what your 'TRUE' personal and professional Passions
are!.....You are the only one that can ask those 'tough' questions and then listen to that 'Still
Small Voice' for the answer.
The challenge with what I just proposed is this: If you have let your
'Passions' go by the way side.....for seemingly all 'good' reasons... the thought of going after them again and re-kindling
that 'Spirit of Desire' is completely overwhelming. If you even start to remotely consider what I proposed above your 'negative'
inner voice will begin to scream loudly. Instead of 'focusing' forward on your true 'Passions' and devising a plan and strategy
to achieve them, small step by small step. You will let that 'negative' inner voice speak and begin to point out all the 'reasons'
why you left that Passion go by the wayside and why you couldn't pick it back up now. The 'vioce' will point out your age, your
stage in life......How much work, time, effort and money it may take.....Plus lets put on top of all that what all those other
'PEOPLE' will say if you decide to pursue one of your 'Passions, your Dreams'......Oh I can hear the disdain and ridicule
from miles away.....(I hope you get my point!)
If you decide to start to 'explore and re-open' your Passions
and Desires, to listen to that voice....Once you decide to do that YOU MUST NOT look back......YOU must 'decide'
unabashedly to move forward and then 'act' accordingly. No one else can do it for you......it is you
and you alone that must make the choice to re-kindle your Passions and Desires.....basically, to LISTEN TO YOUR HEART!
As with all the ideas we have share so far...the responsibility lies with YOU. Are you willing to pay the price to be
the leader I KNOW you can be.....are you? Trust me on this one.....you will never. ever regret the ride.......the journey
is worth it....it really, really is!
As has been our 'method' all throughout our posts/thoughts on Leadership, I
would like you to think about and ponder the following questions. Thinking about the quality/trait of 'Living with Passion' , please answer the following:
Would you say you 'Live with Passion'? (At work....at Home?) Again, why or why not?
Would the people around you at work and home say you are 'Live with Passion'? (Or would they say you barely 'Live'?
Be honest!)
What are some of your 'Passions'? (Professionally and Personally, Brainstorm a list)
Are you following or acting upon the above 'Passions'? (Again, be honest!)
If not; what is stopping or 'holding'
you back from pursuing your 'Passions'?
What (or WHO) are you afraid of?
Are you scared of
the choices you'll have to make to truly 'Live or follow your Passion(s)'?
Are you scared of what others
may say, think or do?
Do you not know 'how' or where to start?
What will YOU do to
remove the above fears/barriers?
What small (or BIG) step/action could you take at home or work that would
start the ball rolling?
Again be honest in your self-assessment, write your thoughts down and then take some
action!
So far we have established that probably the biggest
'aspect of their lifes', the area that separates 'Great Leaders' from others is their ability to live a life that
is truly authentic; true to their core. We also discussed that when you are truly 'Authentic' several things/actions
are set in motion: #1. You have a 'desire to serve'! #2. You try your best to 'Empower
other People'! #3. You are guided in your day-to-day activities, professionally and personally by 'Your Heart'!
and #4. You desire to truly 'Live with Passion'!
As we established in our first post on 'Traits of Leadership': Leaders embrace these characteristics/traits
but that does NOT mean they are perfect......leadership is about movement FORWARD....it is about progress, not perfection.
Leaders understand they need to take small (or sometimes BIG) steps forward toward their 'Passions' and once they do;
the momentum it creates continues to propel them forward in the right direction!
We
have established as a 'kind-of' concluding thought/premise for this series, a well known thought: ACTIONS
truly do speak LOUDER than words......ACTIONS SHOUT.....words whisper! So my question to you remains: What are
your actions shouting? Do you have Passion? Are there things in your life you could say you're truly Passionate' about?
If you all ready live with 'Passion' in your daily professional and personal life: Congratulations, Keep it up,
don't ever, ever stop!!!!!!
If, as we proceeded through today's discussion our thoughts sparked some internal
dialogues and questions for you......then good. Why not commit to living or striving to live a 'Life
of Passion' and over the next few days think about what that means to you. As we introduced in the last post
on 'Guided by the Heart', Listen to the 'Still Small Voice'. Once you have given this trait some thought, established
some of 'Your Passions', then why not take some ACTION around them.
Realize this: Once
you truly understand 'YOUR PASSIONS' and know what you Like/Love to do......nothing brings more excitement, enthusiasm
or contentment then 'acting' upon that 'Passion'. Action, some type of movement forward is the only answer
that will suffice and fulfill this desire that is inside you.
I will continue my guarantee and
promise from the last post.......If you choose to do it.....to take the ACTION.....you'll never, ever regret it......you
simply won't!!!!!! Have a great Wednesday and I'll see you on Friday with more 'Leadership' thoughts. As always,
thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream
Big and Dare to Fail!'
(If you are new to my 'blog' and have just joined us.....Welcome! You
have joined us, kind of in the 'middle' of a series of thoughts/post on 'Traits of Leadership'. If you would
like to 'catch-up' and connect all the concepts I would suggest that you go into the 'archive' section and
read the previous three posts. If you click on this link it will take you into the blog archives and the first post on
Leadership started on Monday, March 22, 2010: http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.03.21_arch.html )
9:42 am edt
Monday, March 29, 2010
Characteristics of Success - 'Leadership Traits' - Part 4Welcome Back! I hope you had a great weekend and are ready
for the week ahead. Today we will be continuing our exploration of 'Leadership
Traits'. We established on Monday, March 22nd in our first post on this subject that 'Success'
leaves clues, and if we carefully hone-in on these clues, study them, we can learn together. I want to continue
the process we have been doing of choosing a different Leadership Trait, exploring it's attributes and then I'll try
to bring a personal application for each of us to apply to our own lives.
The first three aspects/traits
we examined so far were:
1. Authenticity
2.
Service, or a Desire to Serve
3. Empowering People
(If
you are new to my 'blog' and just joining us.....Welcome! You have joined us, kind of in the 'middle' of a series of thoughts/post
on 'Traits of Leadership'. If you would like to 'catch-up' and connect
all the concepts I would suggest that you go into the 'archive' section and read the previous three posts. If you
click on this link it will take you into the blog archives and the first post on Leadership started on Monday, March 22, 2010:
http://www.hollandmeads.com/2010.03.21_arch.html )
Also
on Friday I gave you some questions to think about and answer involving the third trait listed
above....... Did you do your homework? Did you answer the questions, I hope you did!
Now lets turn our thoughts to the fourth trait in our discussion:
4. Guided by the Heart!
As you look at the above word/quality/phrase
I just mentioned, I'll bet an interesting blend of thoughts go through your mind. For some of you, you're smiling and
going 'yes' I knew this quality would be in there somewhere....for others you're going 'Yuk'.....here we go with that 'soft,
warm, fuzzy' stuff.....what does that have to do with effective leadership. This trait/characteristic/quality usually
does draw an interesting reaction from people when it is mentioned and so lets have 'fun' discussing it today.
Lets begin again by establishing a common language/definition of this word.
'Webster' defines 'Heart'
as: The center of the total personality, esp. with reference to intuition, feeling,
or the center of emotion, (especially as contrasted to the head as the center of the intellect): capacity for sympathy; affection, spirit,
courage, or enthusiasm!
Thus
the age-old challenge again surfaces....head (intellect) or heart (feelings, emotions). This discussion has been going on
forever and I will say quite frankly that it will not be solved here. It won't be 'solved' here because there is nothing to
'solve'; one aspect is not 'right' and the other 'wrong' or vice-versa. We need to use a combination of intellect and
feelings to guide our daily life choices.
With the above thoughts in mind I want to begin our discussion by establishing
the 'fluidity' of the 'HEART' process. What I mean by 'fluidity' is that this process will be ever moving, ever changing,
ever flowing throughout the rest of our lives. Living by the 'HEART' is not a one-time decision......you don't do it once
and that is good enough for the rest of your life. If you decide to live this way you will be challenged by its 'precepts'
and 'guidelines' for your own life.....the rest of your life. Living or being 'Guided by the Heart' is a day by day, moment
by moment process......it never ends.....it will get easier the more we do it and live by it but we will still have to
be vigilant about our hearts the rest of our lives. Here's why:
If you re-look at the defintion above one aspect
becomes clear. Your HEART is YOUR HEART.....PERIOD.....it is not my
heart.....your friends, your parents, your kids, your spouses or anyone else's heart.....it is yours PERIOD!!!!!!!!! Now in
life do we all hope to have some of the afore-mentioned people agree with the choices of our heart......yes we certainly hope
for that......but it might or might not happen. Do you understand why......they are responding from THEIR heart.....not YOURS.
Sometimes our heart and the people we associate with share the same thoughts/feelings/heart.......other times we won't.
Again the important thing to remember is that just because someone else agrees or disagrees with your 'heart' choice doesn't
make it right or wrong for YOU! It may be right/wrong for THEM.....but not necessarily does that make it right/wrong for you.
Now again folks I am not saying we should not discuss our heart feelings and desires with others......get their thoughts
and input.....their ideas. We should absolutely desire the input of others; however, this is where the 'rub' is: We need to
remember that they are sharing their input based on their life, their experiences, their up-bringing, their values and
beliefs which are all very valid TO THEM.....(The challenge lies in their thoughts may or may not be valid to YOU....to
YOUR HEART!)
If their thoughts feelings, ideas are similar to yours, you'll smile and feel good and in some
way, probably be validated for your choice! If those thoughts, feelings, ideas are NOT similar to yours and YOU DON'T share
them, you may be in for a challenge. (At this point I also need to interject and help us all realize this:
For some people.....operating from the heart or feelings isn't a 'life' area that comes easy for them. They might not embrace
the 'heart' as a valid decision mechanism....they may be very intellectual.....very 'fact' based and they may, be
almost incapable of relating to the whole 'heart' piece.) If this is the case or if simply their
view, their 'heart or facts', don't agree with yours....then what do you do? This is especially problematic if the person
you just shared and confided in is an 'important' person in your life.....a person you respect or a person for whom you
desire their 'approval'. This is where 'living or being guided by the heart' faces the stiffest of challenges.
It is 'easy' to make a 'heart' decision if everyone we associate with and confide in agrees and supports us......what is
hard about that...nothing. It is when 'OUR HEART' says or better yet 'SCREAMS' something and those around us can't or are
unable to see it, agree with it and support us in our decision, that is when this becomes extemely difficult. When
we are faced with this type of scenario, is where the 'rubber meets the road'....it is where 'Actions speak louder than Words'.
This my friends is a lonely, lonely road and why 'True Leaders' are hard to come by.......True Leaders will make that
hard decision to follow their Hearts.....not look back no matter what their 'critics' say and choose to move forward. They
understand that to be truly 'AUTHENTIC' they MUST.....YES they MUST live and make their decisions/choices from their Hearts....that
is the 'tough' price Leaders are WILLING to pay.
So.......'How' do you do it? How do you trust your heart, your
intution, your gut feelings. There is no simple way.....no formula.....it is YOU spending time alone with YOU.....you
must get alone.....ask those tough questions and then listen to that 'Still Small Voice' that
guides us all. Once you listen to that voice....then you must not look back......but you must 'decide' and 'act' accordingly.
No one else can do it for you......it is you and you alone that must make the choice to tackle life's challenges and opportunities
based on YOUR HEART and where that HEART RESONATES!
Unfortunately I can't tell you what is 'right or wrong' for
your heart.....I can give you my opinion based on my heart and experiences but that may or may not be right for you. It may
be 'right' for me......but it may be 'wrong' for YOU. When we do ask others for their input and we find them strongly sharing
differing views, differing thoughts for our life, it creates a troublesome dichotomy for us. If their opinion (heart) is different
than ours....who do we listen to. Realize this; when we are in this type of situation with differing thoughts we
may be between a 'rock and a hard place'.
If we find ourselves in a postion of 'differing thoughts', we also
may find oursleves trying to be 'guided or steared' by the other party to 'accept' their view as the right one for us.
They will try and persuade us to endorse their viewpoint and subsequent choices and may be strongly adamant about their
position and the 'reasons why it is 'right' for us. There are proabably several reasons why this happens. #1. They truly
feel we are making a mistake and are trying to help us. #2. They are trying to justify and rationalize their own 'life' decisions
in their own minds. Why many people insist on 'cramming' their views down the throats of others may not be
because it is the 'right' choice for the other person.....but because they are trying to 'validate' the choices/decisions
they made in the past.
We could go on and on and on with this discussion as we have only touched the surface
of the 'depths of the heart', but I must bring this to some sort of 'close'. One of the things I guess I realize
is this: The answers lie not necessarily in more dialogue......the answer lies in YOU (and I) being quiet and wrestling
with those deep heart decisions. We and we only can listen for that 'still small voice'......mine
won't work for you......it may help you.....or it may harm you.....ultimately the choice to be 'Guided
by the Heart' is one choice, only you can make.
Over the next several days I would like
you to think about and ponder the following questions. (Yes More Homework.....Yuk!  ) When you think about the quality/trait of being 'Guided
by the Heart' , please think or answer the
following:
Would you say
you are 'Guided by YOUR Heart'? (At work....at Home?) Why or why not? Be honest and do some self-inspection.
Would
the people around you at work and home say you are 'Guided by YOUR HEART'? (Or would they say you are the 'guided
by what 'others' think your HEART should do/be? A hard but needed question to wrestle with......Again this is you looking
at your motives and desires....be honest!)
What are some of the 'Heart' decisions YOU know you need to make?
What is stopping or 'holding' you back from 'Living from YOUR Heart'?
What (or WHO) are you afraid of?
Are you scared of the choices you'll have to make to truly 'Live from YOUR Heart'?
Are you scared
of what others may say, think or do?
Do you not know 'how' or where to start?
What
will YOU do to remove the above fears/barriers?
What small (or BIG) 'HEART' step could you take at home or work
that would start the ball rolling? Why not start right now! Just make the choice/decision/step and just do it.....Launch out
into the deep.....feel the POWER!!!!!!!
Once you 'start' this process: What will you do to ensure that you maintain the 'mind-set
and actions' that are needed for success?
Again be honest in your self-assessment, write your thoughts down and
then take action! (Once again, I know and understand these are deep and tough questions.......I know they are.....As
we talked about in the earlier posts, there is a 'price' that leaders pay....there is a 'cost' to being authentic.....it
isn't free!)
We
established in our first post that if we want live a life that is truly authentic; we have to make sure we consistently
live from our core. In our second post we discussed a 'desire to serve' and we determined that people who are
authentic, transfer that into action by 'Service to Others'. In out third post we discussed 'Empowering
People'; the challenges, paradigm shifts that must take place for many of us to truly 'embrace ' this concept and put
it into practice and now, we need to wrestle with being 'Guided by the Heart'.
The point once again
with all these characteristics/traits is not 'perfection'.....always remember Leader's aren't perfect at all.....leadership
is about movement FORWARD....it is about progress. You have to take small (or sometimes BIG) steps and once you do; the
momentum you create will continue to propel you forward in the right direction!
We have
established as a 'kind-of' concluding thought/premise for this series, a well known thought: ACTIONS
truly do speak LOUDER than words......ACTIONS SHOUT.....words whisper! So my question to you remains: What are
your actions shouting? I believe authentic leaders are Guided as much by Heart, as they are by
the other qualities of the mind.
If you all ready live by the 'Heart' in your daily professional and
personal life; Congratulations, Keep it up! If today's discussion sparked some internal dialoques and questions for you......then
good. Why not commit to living or striving to live a life that is always Guided by
the Heart, and over the
next few days think about what that means to you. Listen to the 'Still Small Voice' and once you have given
it some thought, established those self guidelines or tenants for you, then put them into ACTION.
Realize this: Once you know what your heart wants to do......nothing and I mean nothing will bring you contentment
and peace until you 'act' upon your 'truth'. Action and sometimes it takes massive amounts of Action is the only answer
that will suffice, that will move you forward in the direction of YOUR HEART!
I will also guarantee and promise
you this.....if you choose to do it.....to take the ACTION.....you'll never, ever regret it......you simply won't!!!!!! Have
a great beginning of the week and I'll see you on Wednesday, as always, thanks for listening/reading and remember to:
'Dream
Big and Dare to Fail!'
11:31 am edt
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