As you know, (at-least those of you that have been faithfully reading my blog, Thanks) we have been exploring over the last 5 months what I've termed, 'Characteristics of Success'. We have looked at 'attributes' I feel people who are 'successful' exhibit in their lives and in our last post I shared some 'weekend thoughts' that reviewed four attribtues from previous posts: 'Focus, Persistence, Effective Time/Life Management (The Vital Few) and Creativity.'

Now I would like to continue our exploration of success by introducing the term or characteristic of 'Responsibility'. The bottom line is this; truly successful people assume and take 'Responsibility for their Actions'.
 
Now, folks think about this quality in today's life and world.....where is it? It doesn't seem to be anywhere around does it. Just watch the news every night: Democrats blame Republicans, Republicans blame Democrats, Independents blame the other two. News agencies fabricate reports or use inaccurate video footage to make their point. When someone gets 'caught' doing something you can hear the 'spin' machine starting and the excuses start flying.

I'll give you a few from our politicians from the past: 'I tried pot but I didn't inhale'........'Well it depends what the definition of 'is' is?'........'I was hiking in the Appalachian Mountains.'........'I did not father that child.'.........and the list goes on an on and on.......Now I can hear some of you 'defending' what was said above......I can hear it and have heard it over the years.

Folks, I know and realize that when we make certain decisions or get 'caught' making a mistake; our first defense/reaction is to deny it ever happened or to lie. I understand we get caught off guard by the question and before we know it we have 'spun' the story and not told the truth and taken responsibility. I know that and yes I've done it. Like I have said in previous posts, I have made more mistakes in my life, than most people should be allowed and unfortunately at times I haven't taken responsibility for my own actions/choices.....I haven't and I know it!

With the above 'admission' I also think it is important for all of us try our best to take more responsibility for our choices and conduct. I also think the more 'honest' we are with friends, children, family members, relatives and others the more 'respected' we will be in the end. The other people might disagree with our choices/decisions but at least they and we will know we have been honest and up-front.

Recently I had a wonderful teaching moment with my one daughter. She had made a 'typical' youth error and the error revolved around something she posted on a 'social networking' site. She and a friend weren't getting along and were bickering back and forth at school. Once they got to their respective homes the bickering transferred to things 'posted' on this site. My daughter posted a 'generic' comment with out the other girl's name but by the nature of what she posted, the other girl could easily figure out that my daughter was referring to her.

Once the other person realized and 'saw' the post the war of 'words/posts' was in full battle mode. Now, my daughter realized she was headed down the wrong path and stopped.......but the 'damage' had been done. She thought about it overnight and came to me in the morning with a 'heavy heart'. She told me what went on and what was said back and forth. After she explained the whole situation she asked: 'What should I do?' She then immediately piped back in with.....'She was at fault too!'

After hearing the above story I looked at her eye-to-eye and said: 'There is only one thing you can do: Go to your friend, look them right in the eye and tell them: YOU WERE WRONG. YOU'RE SORRY YOU SAID THOSE THINGS AND PLEASE FORGIVE ME!'

I then went onto explain that she couldn't take responsibility for what her friend said nor should she expect for her friend to say; I'm sorry too.' I said maybe she will but maybe she won't....if she doesn't take responsibility that is her burden to bear and not yours. The only thing you can do is take 'responsibility' for the things you said and did. What the other person does with it is their choice. You just need to be honest and 'fall on your sword'.

At the end of breakfast she understood and she planned when she was going to see her friend and we worked through what to say. That afternoon she came home and shared that she talked with the other girl, took responsibility for her actions and said she was sorry. I asked: 'What was your friend's response?' She said: 'She listened but cut the conversation short and wasn't willing, ready or able to take any ownership of the disagreement herself.' I then said: 'Sometimes people aren't ready or for some reason can't bring themselves to taking responsibility for their actions.' I continued: 'That is not your responsibility.....yours was to take ownership and apologize for what you did..... What she does with that is up to her.'

Since that time my daughter and her 'friend' have worked through the dissagreement and are on 'friendly' terms. Is their relationship back to what it was......probably not.....but on all sides it was a good, but very difficult learning lesson.

I realize the above concept of responsibility is not a 'learn once' and you'll always do it attribute. It is like everything we talked about from a self-improvement' basis: You'll do it well for a while and then you'll fall off the wagon....you'll take many steps forward and then for some reason take some backward steps. The point of the discussion is two-fold: #1: To know and understand we won't ever be 'perfect' at this trait and #2: To raise our awareness and make this an area we all strive to improve upon each and every day.

I know for all of us, some days will be better than others, but I also know, successful people don’t make excuses........They don’t blame others........They don’t whine and complain........ Successful people have the courage to admit their mistakes.....to take ownership.....fix it......and move on. We needn't spend or waste a lot of time, energy, money or other resources trying to defend a mistake or a bad decision.....face it as best we can and move onward.
 
Think about some of the statements we introduced above......if the individuals would have said: 'Yes, I did it.' yes there would have been a 'firestorm' and a flurry of media attention for a day or so and then you know what.......they would've moved on to something else that was more 'news' worthy. It would've been over a whole lot sooner and you and I both know it. I have this saying that I like: 'If your HORSE is DEAD, Dismount!.......slapping it and telling it to 'giddy-up' isn't going to work.......it's DEAD......dismount!'

The same can be said about the above incidents; we need to all remember that when we are wrong, make a mistake or a bad choice/decision, as best you can, admit the failure, face it, keep your head up and move on. My hope for myself and all who read this is that we can all strive for improvement in this area.....we will never reach perfection.....there isn't such a thing.....but if one-by-one we continue trying we will make progress.....and when we make progress, we and the world around us will be a better place to live!

As always, thanks for listening/reading and until next time remember to: 'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'