|
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Heroes, Part One....In our continuing series on characteristics of successful
people I want to explore the thought of "Heroes". The dictionary defines the word 'Hero' as: "A
person with great courage and strength, celebrated for their bold exploits.
A person noted for nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life for a cause.
A person noted for special achievement in a particular field."
I believe every person who
has achieved any level of success in life has had a person or persons they have looked up to, expressed admiration for
and would also probably use the term 'Hero' to describe them. Heroes come in every size, shape, creed and color.
Some are 'well known' and have some sort of 'fame', while others may be known only to one person or a small group of people.
Whether they are 'famous' or are hardly known outside of their sphere of influence they are still considered 'heroes'
for what they have done and the difference they have made in other people's lives.
I would like to tell you about
two of my heroes: One, was my high school basketbal coach Gene Evans. The other was/is my mother who will be 89 next march.
These two people are connected through the same story.........here's how:
Coach Evans was a fabulous coach who
not only demonstrated an unbelievable grasp of the fundamentals of basketball but had an amazing ability to
motivate his players and bring 12 individuals together as a team with a common goal. I will say this though......he was tough
.....tough as nails. He was demanding and ruled the court. If you screwed up or were lazy you heard about it and heard
about it in 'expletive' type terms. He had a look in his eye, his face would get red, and when that happened, you paid attention.
(Some of my former teammates who are now reading this are smiling and remembering those individual moments for them.)
My junior year, I was starting at center for the varsity and this is when I really got to know and understand Coach's methods
and intensity. if I'm honest, as a junior I was a 'cocky' big (6'5") kid....... I thought I was 'bad'. That whole
year Coach rode me and challenged me to my core. I have never been cussed at so much, yelled at so much, been given extra
laps and sprints after practice than I was given that year. I would still be running some times when guys were leaving the
locker room after they had showered.
One of the pivotal moments for me came in one of our 'home' games my junior
year. In front of a packed crowd in this particular game I did something wrong, I screwed up. I was running up and down the
court and could hear Coach screaming at me. I glanced over at him and thought: 'Oh crap, I'm in deep trouble!' In the middle
of this tirade at the other end of the court the other team called: 'Time Out'! My immediate thought was 'Oh Sh*t', I'm in
trouble!' I could see he was still mad at me and so I began walking very 'slowly' to our huddle. That was my big mistake:
All of a sudden here he came, onto the court to get me. He grabbed me by my jersey and drug me to the huddle where he shook
me around and called me the 'Dumbest ************* Basketball Player he had ever had!'
The next day in school,
my friends were unrelenting; every time I saw one of them they acted like they were being shaken or just had those stupid
smirks on their faces and just laughed. Later that same week in one of our practices, I was screwing up again and he
let me have it! Boy was I mad and frustrated.
As all young 'cocky' kids do; we look for someone to either blame
during these times or we look for help, someone to bail us out. That's what I did and I did it the next morning at breakfast
in a conversation with my mom. As I was sitting there eating my cereal I was explaining to my mom how 'her poor' son was being
so picked on and singled out by the 'bad mean basketball coach' and how I was undeserving of such treatment! As I was ranting
and raving mom listened intently. After I painted what I thought was a thoroughly 'accurate' portrait of what her 'little
boy' was dealing with, I asked her: What should I do?
Mom, paused and then said: 'I think you have two options.'
(In my mind I went 'YES' see that, Mom's always have options!) Mom looked me square in the eye and said: 'Your first
option is to 'Quit', then you could devote more time to your studies!' I quickly piped in and said: 'What's the second option?'
She looked me in the eye again and said: 'Shut-Up and Play'! She went onto say: 'I'm not going to fight your battles for you,
if you want to play.... then play......but shut-up because I don't want to hear it anymore.'
I can remember that
moment like it was yesterday: There I sat with a mouthful of 'Captain Crunch' .......as she got up from the table. I quickly
realized right then; the discussion was over! To make a long story short; I took her second option and 'shut-up' and stuck
it out......and to this day I'm sure glad I did!
At the end of my Senior year I asked Coach Evans to
sign my yearbook. This is what he wrote:
"The greatest thing was watching you develop from a rather
'shy', 'unsure of himself' sophomore to a very mature and confident senior who demonstrated quite a bit of basketball talent.
The development in the basketball end was important but not near as much as all the other areas and in this you deserve all
the credit. I really enjoyed watching you and appreciated your tremendous desire, enthusiasm and leadership by example. I
would extend my best wishes for continued success and enjoyment in this great and wonderful world. Best Wishes" -
Gene Evans
What is interesting about the above story is this: Coach Evans made this same type of impact on many,
many players and coaches lives during his storied career. He was one tough coach; he was tough on everybody. Sadly in today's
'politically correct' world 'Coach' wouldn't be as readily accepted nor in today's society would the parents probably take
as strong a stand as my mother took. I will tell you this: 'I wouldn't change a thing about that whole aspect and time of
my life.' Coach helped me to become who I am today and so did my mom.
For this reason 'Coach' is one of my
'Heroes' and so is my 'Mom' (not just for being my mom) but for challenging me to face life, the tough moments and fight
my own battles. These two individuals helped me come thorough this experience and out the other side, a better
person. For both their influences, to this day, I am eternally grateful!
In my next post I will share another
story of a 'Hero' in my life.......until then....'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
Friday, October 23, 2009
Purpose and Passion Example.....I thought I would end the week with what I feel is an excellent example of
living with 'Purpose and Passion', enjoy!
As many of you know, I am training for my first Ironman race that
will take place in July of 2010. Because I live in the Adirondack mountain region of up-state NY; winter comes early and stays
long. For that reason I have my bike set-up in my home on a stationary spinner. This gives me the ability to ride and keep
in shape while at the same time not freezing to death outside. I must say, it is a tad boring sitting on a bike for hours
on end not going any where, just spinning. To combat the boredom I have placed my bike where I can see the TV and will watch
the news, sports or a movie while I spin away.
I have recently gotten in the habit of watching movies while I
ride. I watch all types of movies but especially enjoy movies based on a true story that have an inspiring
or up-lifting message. Today while I was spinning away I re-watched a movie called: 'Stand and Deliver'.
The movie takes place in a tough section of East L.A. at Garfield High School and chronicles one teacher Mr. Jaime Escalante.
Without giving away too much of the movie I want to share some of the story and tie it back to our theme of 'Purpose
and Passion'. Mr. Escalante was hired as a new teacher and was assigned a group of "too cool to cope" kids
and given the challenge to teach them basic math. Garfield High School is a struggling school that is about to lose
its certification and be put on probation unless their test scores improved.
In an early part of the movie Mr.
Escalante is visiting with his neighbor and his neighbor asks: 'How are things going at your job, at such and such company?'
Jaime replies: 'I quit there and got a job as a teacher.' The neighbor says: 'I'm sorry, did you get laid off and have to
take a job as a teacher?' Jaime replied: 'No I quit because I wanted to teach and make a difference.'
At one faculty
meeting the teachers and administrators were discussing what they could do to improve the school and avoid being put
on probation. Mr. Escalante suggested that he would like to 'stop teaching his students basic math and would like to teach
them algebra and calculus.' The department head replied: 'The school lacks the resources and the students wouldn't be
able to do it.' To which Jaime said: 'These students will rise to the level of expectation we set for them. I don't see losers,
I see scholars!'
The movie goes on to chronicle how Mr. Escalante cajoles, challenges and inspires his 'no expectations
kids'. In 1982, Eighteen of his students passed the Calculus Advanced Placement Test; more than any other school
in Southern California. Each year after, the trend continued, and in 1987 Garfield High School had 87 students pass the exam.
If you have never seen the movie and like inspiring stories I suggest you rent or buy 'Stand and
Deliver' . Once you watch the whole movie, you will be able to see and understand the scope of what
Mr. Escalante did and what his students accomplished and achieved. The point of sharing this story is: I believe Mr.
Escalante exemplifies both the characteristics of 'Purpose and Passion'. His 'Purpose' was to make a difference
in the lives of these kids. Which is why he resigned a higher paying job to take the opportunity to be a teacher at a
troubled school. He also had 'Passion' for what he did and was able to convey that passion to children who didn't think they
would ever be 'high' achievers.
At one point in the movie; the Math Department Head said: 'If you fail, Mr.
Escalante, you will shatter what little self-confidence these kids have!' I'm glad Mr. Escalante perservered, followed
his 'Purpose and let his Passion' shine. I'll also bet the children and families whose lives were impacted
for the better; are glad Mr. Escalante did what he did!
Have a great weekend and rent the movie if you're
looking for something inspirational to watch. Until next time, I hope you'll live with 'Passion and Purpose' and as always,,,,,,,,,,,,
Thanks for listening and remember to......'Dream Big and Dare to Fail!'
2:10 pm edt
Monday, October 19, 2009
How to Determine our 'Passions', Continued.....As we continue our look at 'passion', one of the 'characteristics of success',
I want to bring some more discussion to the 'How' aspect of this characteristic.
As I discussed in the last post;
I referred to passion and emotion and made this connection: Things we are passionate about carry with them a complimentary
'strong emotional connection'. As I thought about this over the weekend it came to mind that some people may struggle with
the 'passion and emotion' connection. Let me continue my explanation this way: Instead or in addition to the word 'emotion',
lets use the word 'energy' and explore the connection between 'passion and energy'.
Again , we are trying
to focus on the 'How' of passion. How can I know what are my passions or what I am passionate about. Let's examine this
more deeply at our personal energy level and see it's connection to our passions. I believe that if we pay attention to our
natural 'energies' we can become innately attuned to our subsequent passions. (Many people would probably view energy
and passion as synonymous......a point well taken.)
Here is what I mean: We all have 'natural' energies
about us and these 'energies' are probably stronger for certain things or activities than they are for other things. Lets
be honest, some things we are just good at doing, other things we aren't as good at doing and quite honestly will maybe 'never'
be good at doing them. Some things we thoroughly enjoy doing without much effort or don't mind expending the effort to
accomplish them while others take all the effort we have just to complete them in a mediocre type way.
As I look at my youngest daughters, the differences are fascinating; one loves to cook, the other one loves to 'eat'
but not cook. The one loves physical activity and sports, the other one doesn't enjoy them but will watch them and support
her sister. When I try to get either of them involved in the activities they have no or little energy (passion) around, it
is like pulling teeth. I can get them to do it but the effort is huge.
Mariah, the aspiring chef has been accepted
into a one-day cooking/baking program at the Culinary Institute of America in December. She and her mom will go down the night
before, take the class together and then get a private tour of one of the most prestigious culinary schools in the world.
She is so excited (energetic). Sierra was just asked to be part of the 'Screening Camp' November 1st - 8th for the USA Luge
Junior Development Team. She will stay over night at the Olympic Training Center in Lake Placid and eat her meals in the cafeteria
where all the Olympic Athletes and Olympic Athlete hopefuls eat. She too is so excited, energetic.
Now, I'm not
saying that Sierra won't learn to cook or really at some point in her life enjoy coooking. Just as I'm not saying Mariah won't
enjoy sports or physical activity in the future. I'm also not saying that just doing the things we don't like or have passion
around isn't a good or necessary thing. We all have to learn and do things, job wise and personally that we may not particularly
enjoy or have energy around but we still have to do them. I get it, I understand the necessities of life and survival personally
and professionally.
What I am attempting to do in this section is to point out a few ways, emotion and energy
(not all inclusively, just some ideas) as to how, we all may be able to understand what some of our passions are and then
to live accordingly. Here are some questions for you to think about over the next days and weeks:
* What activities,
both professionally and personally do you have strong positive emotions or energy around doing? Make a list of the things;
activities that you truly enjoy, and give you energy at home and work.
* Once you have determined some of
these areas: Are you pursuing them and incorporating them into your weekly life?
* If you are, great, continue,
but also look for other or more opportunities to experience them.
* If not; how or what can you do to incorporate
these into your life in small incremental steps? (Don't make excuses that you're busy or your plate is full. These
are YOUR Passions, so look for small ways to incorporate them. You will be amazed how you will feel and how much positive energy
you will have once you take small steps, do it!)
Hopefully between the last post on 'emotion' and this
one on 'energy' you have some insights or ideas of how to tap in and live by your passions. I know in our busy lives
these are hard topics to delve into sometimes but the beauty of it is; all it takes is a few small steps forward and you will
see and feel the difference in your life.
As always, thanks for listening and continue to: Dream Big and Dare to
Fail!
5:21 pm edt
Friday, October 16, 2009
Passion and Purpose Continued.....In the last several posts I began discussing the thoughts of: 'Characteristics
of Success' and we have looked at 'Passion and Purpose'. Now, I want to investigate some methods or ways we can discover our ‘Passions and Purpose’
and also how to sustain these areas amidst the trials of day-today life.
Let’s start today, by looking
more deeply into the area of ‘Passion’. As I share I want to make sure that you understand my intention:
My intention is not to supply you with some exhaustive or expansive list of ways to do this. My intention is to place thoughts
and ideas out there that will spur or trigger you to investigate these thoughts personally. There are many ways for you to
go about this and I will be sharing only a couple ideas that hopefully will help, ‘jump-start’ the process; here
goes:
I believe to understand ‘Passion’ and the areas of our lives that invoke pure true passion
we need to understand the correlation/connection between ‘Passion and Emotion’. I believe Passion and strong Emotion
are linked at their core. Now when I say emotion, I want to define and explain what I mean: We normally equate emotion
with vocal intensity, gestures, posture etc. For some of you, those characteristics may hold true; for others, they can have
just as much emotion and yet may not necessarily be standing on a table shouting and gesturing wildly. Their emotion may be
expressed more quietly and with not so much animation but it is just as real and relevant.
So I would like to pose
some questions for you to think about to get this process started or for some of you, maybe help take it to a deeper level.
My suggestion is to do this in a quiet relaxing area with a pen and paper in hand. Once you are ready, (go get that pencil,
I can see you) think about and respond to the following thoughts:
· What excites you? I
mean really deep down in your core excites you? We all get excited about some things, sports, music etc, yet they may not
necessarily be a passion but just something we strongly enjoy. What deeply excites you? (There may be some deeper more global
type things like: Helping the homeless, working with children, building homes for those in need. It could also be more personal
things like; continuing your education, learning to be a chef, running for a specific office or owning your own business.)
· If you could do one thing in life and money wasn’t an obstacle; what would it be?
(now don’t say own and island and live there J)
· You’re 95 years old and
on the front porch rocking, thinking back over your life: What do you want to see? What are the highlights? What are the fondest
memories you want to be able to retrieve? What are your regrets or things you wouldn’t want to see?
· When
was the last time you just sat and thought about these types of things/questions? I mean without the TV, IPod or Radio on….when
was the last time you took a walk in nature and just listened and thought about you and your life/future?......Hmmmmmmm?
By all means the above questions are not an exhaustive list but hopefully more of an ‘ignition point’
to help you begin to answer this question. I also want to say that for some of you this may take some time and repeated visits
to these questions to dig deep down through the ‘layers of life’. Keep digging, it is worth it!
People
often ask me: What my ‘Passion’ is. What motivates me and keeps me going? I tell them this; and for some of you
this will sound so cheesy and trite, but it is true for me. Here is my answer: ‘I
want to spend my life; planting shade trees, under which I will never probably sit!’ Now
folks for me, the ‘trees’ in this statement refer to other people; I want to make a small difference in other
people’s lives.
I have travelled as a public speaker for the last 20+ years. For those of you that travel
for work; you know the ‘joy and glamour’ of travel runs out after about the second flight and hotel stay. There
is nothing glamorous about it; it is tiring and very complicated. Several years ago I was flying home and my connection went
through the Cincinnati Ohio airport. It was Friday and after a week of travel and many flights, I couldn’t have wanted
to get home faster. I was walking down the concourse to my gate when a young man stopped me and asked: ‘You’re
Holland Meads aren’t you?’ I said yes I was and then began the mind scramble to try and figure out who this young
man was and where I had met him.
He went onto say this: “It
is amazing I have run into you. You taught a seminar several years ago and talked about living with passion and setting goals.
I was in that seminar and took your challenge to heart. I went home and my wife and I sat down and really tried to figure
out what we wanted and then come up with a plan to achieve it. We have reached some of our goals and are still striving for
others. We were reviewing them the other day and I thought about you. I thought I wonder where Holland is and I sure would
like to thank him for his challenge to us. It changed our lives. Little did I know a week or so later I would run into you
in the airport. I’m glad I did and ‘Thank You’ for changing our lives!”
Now let me say this, right up front: I didn’t change their lives. They changed their own lives. All I did was provide
them some ideas and challenges, the effort and credit belong to them! My point of this story is this: How do you think I felt
after that three minute exchange in a crowded airport? In a matter of three minutes I went from being tired and somewhat discouraged
to being able to fly the rest of the way home without an airplane.
That couple for me represented a ‘Shade tree under which I’ll never sit’!
However this time, I was very fortunate and thankful to at least hear about their success through this brief encounter. That
encounter still makes me smile, feel good and continues to encourage me to follow my passion of, ‘making a difference’.
As always, thanks for reading and I hope something from today causes you to take the time and ‘discover your passion’
or for those that are well on their way, to deepen an all ready existing passion.
Until next time: “Dream
Big and Dare to Fail”!
12:51 pm edt
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Living with Purpose, Part 2In our continuing series on 'Characteristics of Success',
we introduced the thought of 'Living with Purpose'. I want to continue along that thought today. The dictionary defines 'Purpose'
this way:
"The reason for which something
exists, or an intended or desired result, a goal, to resolve."
The definition above represents to me two distinct
differences that I want to look at for the purpose of our discussion. The two differences are, what I will define as:
''Purposes of choice' and 'Purpose which is inherent to who you are as a person'. Let's first look at: 'Purposes of Choice'.
'Puposes of Choice' represent the latter half of the above definition: 'An
intended or desired result, a goal, to resolve.' We all do this naturally, some better than others,
but we all do it none-the-less. Here is what I mean: We all have desired results we want to achieve, we set goals and
resolve to accomplish certain things. Some of our goals are lofty and some are day-to-day. "I need to get this project
done for work. I have to go grocery shopping. I have to clean my house and do laundry. I want to make the basketball team
in high school. I want to make the honor role. I want to exercise and be in shape. I want to go to college. I want
to be a chemist or own my own business. I want to be the mayor of our town."...and the list can go on and on.
Now lets look at: 'Purpose, which is inherent to who you are as a person'. Again, referring to the first section of
the definition above: 'The reason for which something exists'.
This part of the defintion is more complex and has to do with 'matters of the heart and soul'. (Now, for some of you,
just those last words made your hair stand up, you have your gaurd up and are now back-tracking quickly...stay with
me.)
To understand 'matters of the heart and soul', we must know: 'Who we are and why we are here, our
purpose for existence'. I believe it is this awareness of the 'deeper intention of their lives' that compels and drives them
forward. They believe their lives were meant for something and they are not just here by chance. The challenge with this
area of life, is the 'deep introspection part'. I think we get so busy sometimes, with the above 'goal oriented items' and
the day-to-day life chores and responsibilities that we either lose focus of our purpose or never take the time to unearth
it and let it blossom. I think this part of purpose is deeply personal and something that comes from within you at a
soul or 'spiritual' level. Some examples would be, men and women who devote their lives to a specific cause: They want to
find a cure for cancer, provide wells and clean drinking water to those who don't have it, help the youth in their town or
city, feed the hungry or house the homeless, make a difference in the lives of people they come into contact...and list
could go on and on.
In my last blog I referenced Viktor Frankl and the two other men that were in the concentration
camp. One man had the 'goal of seeing his child again'. A wonderful goal and a goal that supports the 'purposes of choice'
definition above. The second man was a scientist and had written some books that need to be completed. He felt
his 'existence or reason to live' was to complete them. Both of these purposes are worthwhile and helped these men 'focus
on the future' and survive a very horrific time in their lives.
I think truly successful people find a way
to combine both attributes. They are deeply convinced of who they are as a person, why they were put on this earth
and also work hard at setting goals for their daily lives that support their deep belief of, 'why they are here'.
Why are you here? Why? What is your 'purpose, the reason you exist'? I know, I know...very hard and deep questions.
So hard and deep, that many of you 'dismiss' the idea and shiver at the thought. But....for those of you that are willing
to look inside and ask those tough questions, it can be an amazing journey. If you take the time to do that and
then set goals and intentions for your daily life....you are in for an amazing ride.....hold-on!
Once again,
thanks so much for reading and until next time....'Dream Big & Dare to Fail'
9:02 am edt
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Living with Purpose, Part 1
As I continue
to explore attributes or characteristics of 'success' I wanted to move-on from Passion to 'Purpose'!
For many people,
the thought of 'purpose' or a 'life's purpose' for them individually, is a very foreign concept. If it's not foreign
to them, it has at least probably been sufficiently buried under life and day-to-day activities that it has been lost or demised.
I placed my daily inspirational quote on my Facebook fan page today, which I really like and I think ties into
today's thought. ( Join my 'Fan' Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Holland-Meads-Consulting/299612940256?ref=search&sid=1308407549.2326367640..1)
The quote is by Frederick F. Flack: "Most
people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly. Whether by accident
or design, these are the moments when, because of a readiness within us and a collaboration with events occurring around us,
we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves and the conditions under which we live and to make certain choices that will
affect the rest of our lives."
For me,
this event happened when I was 13 years old. I won't recount for you the details of this time but will let you know, that
40 years later, I can remember it detail by detail. It was at that moment, that I felt 'Purpose' in my life, that somehow 'my
insignificant little-old life' did have purpose. I don't share that thought as if to say I have never strayed from that 'purpose'
or haven't taken a rather circuitous route through life. I have made more mistakes than most people should ever be allowed,
but by God's grace, I feel like I have never lost sight of that event. Many times it was 'drowned' or placed in a very low
priority because of life's trial and my choices, but it was never, ever truly lost.
One of my favorite books is
Viktor Frankl's book: "Man's Search For Meaning".
It is one of the few books I have read several times. For those of you that haven't read it, the book details out Victor
Frankl's experience of being a "Prisoner in the German Concentration camp at Auschwitz!" Amidst the most horrific,
barbaric and squalid conditions anyone could experience, Victor Frankl found 'meaning' and observed a common thread or
characteristic among those fellow prisoners who survived Auschwitz. Mr. Frankl also observed that he didn't see this characteristic
in those who gave up, had no will to live and finally committed suicide.
One of the points in the
book that stands out to me so strongly was when Mr. Frankl shared the story of two other prisoners. Both prisoners were in
desperate despair and much pain. Both fought with that inevitable question: "Do I want to continue 'fighting' to live
in these conditions or do I give up!" (Now, quite frankly, I don't know what choice I would have made in those types
of 'horrid' conditions.) Mr. Frankly shares that both men began seeing their future, their purpose. One, had a personal reason,
a child he yearned to see again. The other was a scientist, who had written a series of books that needed to be finished.
These two very different 'visions of purpose' propelled and enabled both men to fight on through the pain and suffering, hold
onto life and make it through the ordeal.
Mr. Frankl also shares his story: He stated that he got tired of 'focusing'
on his miserable state of affairs and forced his mind to the future and what he felt was his 'purpose'. He changed his
thoughts and focus and saw himself in a comfortable auditorium lecturing to an attentive audience about the: 'Psychology of
the Concentration Camp'. Victor Frankl went on to say: "By
this method I succeeded somehow in rising above the situation, above the sufferings of the moment, and I observed them as
if they were all ready of the past."
In today's tough times, I wanted to share the above thoughts in hopes that someone may be encouraged and challenged
to look inward and forward and find or re-discover their 'purpose'. I truly believe that each and every one of us have a
'purpose, or purposes' for our lives. What is your purpose? What do you need to turn your thoughts forward towards?........Thanks
for reading and until next time, remember to "Dream Big & Dare to Fail!"..........
|
